Some Ideas For Joakim Noah's Second Tweet

Joakim Noah joined Twitter last week very unceremoniously. Word slowly trickled out and at the time of me writing this, Noah had amassed just over 18 thousand followers. His profile reads "Stick stickity" and he has composed a single tweet, simply reading: "General Tso." This is the out-of-context babble that has fueled so many funny Twitter accounts over the years. What is General Tso? The chicken, one assumes, or could Joakim be a Chinese military history buff? We'll never know because athletes do not have to explain tweets unless they are offensive. It's better that way to leave some things up to the imagination.

Noah has been one of the few players the basketball fans on Twitter have been clamoring for. He's a weird guy, weird enough that he'd probably have something interesting to say. And unpredictable, as in inventing a new and elaborate form of celebration midway through the season for no reason whatsoever. His Twitter ceiling is somewhere between Gilbert Arenas-like tangents and accidentally tweeting a picture of his weed a la Micheal Beasley. 

"General Tso." has stood alone since February 22, making it a full week since Joakim last tweeted. At this point, his account seems like a cruel trick meant to squash every last bit of anticipation we had for this day. Noah may never decide to tweet again, in which case, his experiment would still be a strange success, but if he does, here are some possible ideas for his second tweet.

Looking like une petite fete. How u

Breakfast Burrito. 

Just complimented Thibs on his polo shirt. He made me run suicides.

Gator Boyz!!! Go see Ahmad at 7th and 112

@KingJames Nice All star game bro lol

@KingJames @DwyaneWade @chrisbosh Ya'll looking real Hollywood from where i'm tweeting

The vengeance was mine. the pleasure was all mine.

Subway Fresh Fit Meal.

If i'm stopped at a Traffic light, can I be a traffic cone?

Six steps. One step. red step blue step

We caught John Lucas napping. twitpic.com/1o8y9

Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family. You should accept my invitation! :) Click here: http://pmw.es/1se87 

SOAKING WET. RT @swirsk054: Noah bringing out the guns and they are WET

Pop pop pop booyakasha

Stop. Just Stop. Like They'd Trade Me.

Fine thanks for asking. RT @JimmyRunsTrains: How's your sister doing?

You're spiritual plain. Get on my spiritual plane.

the real poet remains calm and lies within us.

Haha i just autographed me third pair of tits. TODAY

Only u can hold u back. It broke the camel's straw after all.

Malted Milk.

Ima keep shooting.

John lucas throws up some funny looking shots. RT @ChiBullsRox23: Who's the funniest guy on the team?

These were awful. RT @RenaissanceFan: Some Ideas For @JoakimNoah Second Tweet therenaissanefan.blogspot.com/...

To All The Przybillas and a Hundred Dollar Billas

"Disappointment never looked this good."

I happened again. The Bulls dropped their third in the last five after only losing three of their first sixteen games. It's obviously time to panic. You can only place the onus on Deng's return for so long. The Bulls need to make a move and they need to do it now. Dwight Howard recently said he'd be interested in playing in Chicago. He also unknowingly agreed to a long-term deal with the Beirut Bandits, so take his word for what it's worth. Howard to the Bulls isn't happening and Bulls fans know it. Think smaller, more under the radar, but big impact implications. Consider a different 7-foot shot-blocking machine who used to grab 20 boards when given the playing time. Think Joel Przybilla. He's been waiting patiently. He's wants back in. He has plenty to prove and he needs to prove it in a Bulls uniform.

Przybilla was the 9th overall pick in the 2000 Draft--a draft renowned for its legendary awfulness. This alone makes him a particularly suitable candidate to play 10 minutes a game every tenth game. The oft-injured center was seen jiving on the bench with Greg Oden during his six-year stint in Portland. The duo made the best of a frustrating situation. They compared suits, often leaving the price tag on because who wants to pay for 55 different suits a season when they can just take them back? They chastised Andre Miller's haircut from a distance and exchanged sweet potato pie recipes. Occasionally Przybilla would be forced to leave his friend and play in a game that night. Oden, sulking and lonely, watched as Przybilla developed into a defensive force. He blocked shots and grabbed rebounds with the ferociousness of a descending turkey vulture. He did all of the things (besides score) that Oden was supposed to do better and more frequently for the Trail Blazers.

The Sixers scored 46 of their 98 points in the paint (47 percent) against the Bulls last night. That number is entirely too high for a perimeter-oriented team. Now I ask you, would Przybilla's presence at the end of the Bulls' bench not help in this department? Would his acquisition not put the Eastern Conference on notice like Rasual Butler's did last year? At the very least, Przybilla provides insurance should one of the bigs go down with an injury, assuming Przybilla doesn't go down with an injury first. Przybilla's arrival would also allow Brian Scalabrine to return to the familiar 'victory cigar' role he excelled at last season. In a lockout-shortened season bereft of continuity, Przybilla's arrival could change everything.

As much as I would like to suggest differently, my newfound support of Przybilla is motivated by a case of 'Keeping up with the Jameses.' Przybilla is currently mulling over offers from the Bulls and Heat and expected to make a decision sometime this week. If the Bulls don't get Przybilla, then the Heat do, and I don't want the Heat to get anyone. Envy has its limits. The Heat can take Eddy Curry and place whatever hopes they feel comfortable with on his ability to not register on the Richter Scale. Eddy Curry at best is a resealed driveway. Przybilla could potentially be new siding. I don't care if you can't afford it. You dip into the savings, call up your father-in-law crying, do whatever you have to do to make sure your asshole neighbors aren't the only ones in the neighborhood with new siding.

In summation, Joel Przybilla will contribute very little to the Bulls. He won't play unless someone is injured, but he will designate Scalabrine back to the bench. He may be the secret weapon to clogging up driving lanes in the playoffs or he may pull up lame his first game back on the court. He certainly will not have a problem elbowing a driving Derrick Rose in the head, and I would much rather it be a driving LeBron James or Dwyane Wade he is elbowing in the head. The Heat could use a goonish big man and thus, should not be allowed to have one.

Make it happen Bulls. Send someone else out on the recruiting trip if Derrick Rose doesn't want to go. Joel Przybilla cannot land in Miami. Where he goes will shift the balance of power in the East or make no difference at all.     

Jimmy Butler and the Heroic Journey

David Stern stepped to the podium. With the 30th overall pick the Bulls select Marquette senior Jimmy Butler. Before mentioning physical attributes, collegiate accomplishments, or anything basketball-related, the ESPN analysts tripped over themselves to peddle "The Jimmy Butler Story: Great Kid, Great Story." Butler's childhood adversity, happy ending and inimitable spirit were the talking points. Similar to Derrick Rose during his MVP campaign, Butler's demeanor will probably take on a life of its own. Chad Ford even took the time to recommend Butler's story to all of his Twitter followers -- the story he wrote.

At first glance, Butler's transition from homeless, to adopted family member, to professional athlete seems like the basketball version of The Blind Side. But look closer and you'll find the elements of Joseph Campbell's monomyth, often referred to as the "Hero's Journey."

In his seminal 1949 work, The Hero with a Thousand Faces, Campbell argued that all cultural myths share the same fundamental structure. The monomyth also holds up when applied to contemporary works of fiction. Campbell describes three sections of a hero's journey: Departure, Initiation, and Return. Each section includes a number of stages that need to be completed in order to move on to the next section.




http://www.whatmyworldslike.com/


We're currently at the end of the "Departure" section of Jimmy Butler's journey. The lumps he takes against NBA-caliber talent will serve as his "Initiation" stage. Employing Maricopa Community Colleges' nice summary of Campbell's "Departure" section, here's how Butler's life parallels the Hero's Journey.

DEPARTURE

1. The Call to Adventure: The call to adventure is the point in a person's life when they are first given notice that everything is going to change, whether they know it or not.

Butler's mother kicks him out of the house at age 13. A hero's journey cannot truly begin until he or she is separated from their comfort zone, which in most cases, is family.

2. Refusal of the Call: Often when the call is given, the future hero refuses to heed it. This may be from a sense of duty or obligation, fear, insecurity, a sense of inadequacy, or any of a range of reasons that work to hold the person in his or her current circumstances.

Butler initially has trouble finding a home to harness his abilities. He bounces around from friend to friend. Extraordinarily, to his credit, Butler's refusal of the call is not due to his own fears or insecurities, but of those around him.

3. Supernatural Aid: Once the hero has committed to the quest, consciously or unconsciously, his or her guide and magical helper appears, or becomes known.

Butler meets Jordan Leslie and develops a friendship with him. After much hesitation, Leslie's mother decides to take Butler in. With a roof over his head, support system, and structure in his life, Butler is afforded enough stability to harness his basketball talents. Depending on your perspective, Leslie or his mother could be the supernatural aid, or both.

4. The Crossing of the First Threshold: This is the point where the person actually crosses into the field of adventure, leaving the known limits of his or her world and venturing into an unknown and dangerous realm where the rules and limits are not known.

Butler leaves behind the high school and Juco scrubs and heads to Marquette University. He finds it isn't as easy to score at the next level. He struggles to find playing time and his coach Buzz Williams is harder on him than any coach he had ever played for. Butler wants to come back home.

5. The Belly of the Whale: The belly of the whale represents the final separation from the hero's known world and self. It is sometimes described as the person's lowest point, but it is actually the point when the person is between or transitioning between worlds and selves...By entering this stage, the person shows their willingness to undergo a metamorphosis...

The transition from amateur to professional basketball. Butler's possible rookie struggles will likely serve as the "low point," and continue into the "Initiation" section. His metamorphosis is from an orphaned teenager to a solid NBA player.

* * *

Butler spoke to reporters about his defense after the draft, "I'm going to guard. I think that's where I'm going to make my mark in this league. I'm going to put in that work to be able to guard LeBron and Dwyane Wade." A heroic endeavor indeed. 

Choose Your Words Wisely

Chris Bosh followed up an atrocious Game 2 with the best game of his career. He scored 34 in a variety of ways: midrange, off the dribble, pick and rolls, on Chicago's reeling defense. The benefit, to me anyway, of Bosh going off, is that reporters can ask Wade and LeBron about him. Naturally, they wanted to know what changed. Did he prepare any differently for Game 3? To which Dwyane Wade offered a glimpse into Miami's pregame locker room routine. Wade revealed that while most of his teammates play music before games, Bosh keeps to himself and reads a book.

This newfound information excited me. Attempting to read a book while a group of grandiose, self-important individuals make noise sounded a lot like my freshman year of college. Maybe Chris Bosh and myself aren't so different after all!

My thoughts shifted focus. What books could Bosh possibly be reading before a big game? The sociologist in me was hoping for something totally unexpected. Hopefully a piece of literature so far removed from my comfortable opinions about Bosh that would force me to reconsider everything I ever thought about him. Maybe Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Roots? Lolita? The Odyssey (pictured above)?! There had to be more to Bosh than the soft, insecure, player with the strange mannerisms and a habit of getting all LL Cool J and licking his lips in a perfect circle.

In early May, Shandel Richardson of the Sun-Sentinel wrote about the differences amongst the Big Three. Bosh's love of reading and art, as well as his quiet nature were what Richardson felt set him apart from Wade and James. From the article:

...James and Wade are on their iPods listening to hip-hop lyrics in the locker room during pre-game. A few feet away, Bosh is plugging his headphones into his iPad, usually reading a novel or a book that teaches mental toughness.

The bolded was the answer I was looking for, but not exactly hoping for. So Bosh was reading a book or novel about mental toughness? That basically falls in line with Bosh's narrative up to this point. The article also mentions Bosh is a huge Harry Potter fan, by the way. I realize that saying a book is about "mental toughness" is ridiculously vague. Roots can largely be read as a novel about mental toughness, for instance. But doesn't this mental toughness business scream of self-help? Is Chris Bosh reading self-help books before games? More power to him if he is.

I was hoping for something that would put me on my ass. Like when I saw Andrew Bynum was reading Drown by Junot Diaz. No such luck this time around. It's still pretty cool that Bosh reads before games, though. As a coach, I probably wouldn't want my star power forward reading Lolita anyway.

* * *

Mr. Joakim Noah has found himself in some hot water after directing a homophobic slur to an unruly fan while on the bench. Hint: Noah said, "Fuck you, faggot." "Fuck you" is fine nowadays. But "faggot?" Not so much. Here's the video:

Noah was fined 50 thousand dollars for his words and expressed regret in his conversation with openly gay sportswriter Kevin Arnovitz. I was watching the incident with my brother, girlfriend, and a friend. We were originally split down the middle about whether Noah was directing his rage towards himself or someone else. It seemed unlikely, at least to myself and my friend, that Noah would snap at a fan. I'm pretty sure he's heckled ferociously everywhere he goes.

Noah was most likely frustrated that he had just picked up his second foul in the first quarter. The fan apparently said something about his mother. I'm sure he's heard insults about his mother before, but combined with an ineffective start to an important game, the moment got the best of him. Obviously, Noah was wrong. He was wrong for using the word he did. He was wrong for paying a heckling fan the time of day to begin with. Unfortunately, the fan in question will face no repercussions. A small percentage of paying fans at every game feel the price of admission affords them the privilege of saying whatever they want to players and coaches. Other than Sam Amico's "One Free Punch rule," there isn't much the NBA can do. It's up to players to control their emotions, Noah couldn't, and was caught on camera.

What worries me is that this incident received as much attention as it did solely because a homophobic slur was involved. What if Noah had called the guy a dick? The NBA probably does nothing. While I commend the NBA for running ads and addressing offensive incidents such as this one, Noah's slur was only part of the problem. Heated fan-player interactions will outlast whichever form of ignorance our country is preoccupied with fighting.

The Ascension Of Taj Gibson

Bulls color commentator Stacey King dubbed Taj Gibson "Hard-Hat Lunch-Pail" earlier in the season. The name was supposed to give Gibson the distinction of a hard-nosed player. The type of bench guy that does the little things that usually don't end up in the box score but help his team win games. It goes without saying that Gibson and players like him are usually devoid of flash. To borrow another Staceyism, "Gibson must not have gotten the memo."

The second-year power forward provided the two flashiest and most memorable moments of Chicago's 103-82 Game One victory. The first coming at the beginning of the second quarter:



The backpedalling Wade acknowledged post-game that he had no chance of disrupting Gibson's momentum and blocking his shot. "First time I got dunked on all year," Wade added. "I'll take my 90-to-1 blocks to dunked on ratio." Of course, Wade has been dunked on this year, but not by a back-up power forward known mostly for his offensive rebounding and defensive rotations. Wade's admission, no matter how exaggerated, revealed a chink in his armor. It's one thing for him to lose a ball game, and quite another to be embarrassed while doing so.

Gibson's second dunk came in 4th quarter garbage time but was even more spectacular:



This clip was pretty much the game in a nut shell. The Bulls moved the ball, got open looks, and when it came time to crash the offensive boards, they did with much more zeal than Miami. Gibson skied above his own 7 foot teammate while Miller, Howard, and Haslem did little more than look on. Gibson's dunk was impressive aesthetically but no doubt garnered the attention it did because a) it was against Miami, and b) it was Taj Gibson, the unlikeliest of throwdown heroes in a game that featured Wade, James, and Rose.

Coming into the 2010-11 season, Gibson was thought of as more of a hard-luck loser than anything else. He played well beyond his years as a rookie last year, replacing an injured Tyrus Thomas in the starting lineup and kept the job even after Thomas returned. The Bulls needed an inside scorer and for all the things Gibson was capable of doing, volume scoring wasn't one of them. In came free-agent Carlos Boozer -- the man who was supposed to lessen Rose's burden on offense. Boozer injured his hand under mysterious circumstances, Gibson replaced him in the starting lineup, Boozer came back and returned to 20-10 form, and Gibson initially had a tough time adjusting to his reduced role off the bench.

Boozer struggled during the regular season when paired with Joakim Noah in late February. Noah returned from his thumb injury and Boozer's scoring and rebounding numbers dipped. Boozer's defense was also called into question numerous times. The Bulls were fortunate to encounter an easier stretch of their schedule while Noah was out. When the competition grew tougher all the way into the Playoffs, Boozer rarely responded. He blamed it on turf toe. Fans called for his head. I was one of those fans.

Gibson's contributions became more pronounced with Boozer as his natural foil. Boozer was making 14.4 million compared to Gibson's 1.1 million. Boozer missed 23 games of the season due to injury, while Gibson missed only two games in two years. Boozer played lazy defense, failed to close out shooters and was always late on his rotations, and to make matters worse, wasn't scoring effectively. Gibson played excellent defense, provided a shot-blocking presence down low, snatched offensive rebounds, and dove for loose balls. Gibson just seemed like he was trying harder, and improperly compensated for his effort.

The Bulls seem to be coming together at the right time. Boozer has looked active on the offensive and defensive end. He's getting his customary 10 to 15 shots per game and most of them are good looks. Gibson has finally embraced his role off the bench. He's teamed up with Asik to terrorize team's second units. Watching Gibson, there was very little doubt about whether he was up for this match up. The two are no longer contrasted like divorced parents. Boozer is the starter and Taj is one of the best reserve forwards in the NBA.

The Heat will hear from Gibson again. His big plays won't be as flashy the next time around, but that's to be expected. Take a harder look at what led to Gibson's two monster dunks: Running the floor and crashing the offensive boards. Two little things. The little things Gibson does so well.

Day 12: Heat-Sixers (Game 5)

Discussions surrounding the Heat started to become a little ridiculous after Game 2. The Heat were coming off an easy 21 point victory, and one writer wondered if winning big was detrimental to the Heat. Yes, the Heat somehow became more susceptible to an upset because they blew a team out. The article argued that because the Heat struggled to close games during the regular season, mopping the floor with teams in the postseason was simply a recreation of their successful runs. What the Heat really needed was to learn how to finish close games.

I digested this opinion and immediately thought, would we be asking the same question if it was the Lakers, Spurs, or Celtics rolling through the first round? Of course we wouldn't. We'd say these teams were elevating their game come Playoff time and priming themselves for the long stretch. Basically, we'd spin this positively.

But not when it comes to the Heat. Everything about the Heat is looked at critically. Some of that is the left over animosity following "The Decision" and some of it is fueled by the fear that the Heat may take over the league. The Heat haven't won anything yet, their critics will point out; and that is why we're allowed to question their crunch time struggles.

Strangely enough, Game 2 was the only one-sided affair. The four other games followed a similar pattern. The Sixers got off to a fast start, the Heat quickly squashed them in the second quarter, and both teams played relatively even in the second half, with the Heat converting down the stretch. With the exception of Game 2, every game was decided by 8 points or less. I'd call those close games. The Heat have proven themselves capable of closing out games in this series, but even that isn't enough. Boston's transition defense is better and they play at a slower pace. The Heat will need to beat Boston in order to earn any respect.

I've always maintained (speaking in generalities of course) that beating the Heat came down to limiting Chris Bosh. My line of thinking went: LeBron and Wade are going to score their customary 50 to 60 points regardless of how well you play them. Miami's team outside of the Big Three couldn't be counted on for any significant production. Therefore, Bosh and his 18 points per game were the wild card. If you could limit him to 10 or 12 and force the supporting cast to beat you, then you stand a pretty good chance of winning.

My thinking was largely molded from the Bosh's performances in Miami's opening game against Boston (8 points, 3-11 shooting) and his infamous 1-18 game in Chicago. The way I remembered them, Miami's losses were the result of poor games from Bosh and the supporting cast, while LeBron and Wade went off. The Game 4 loss seemed to support my theory. Bosh (12 points) and everyone not named Wade or LeBron (17 combined points) had their worst game of the series, and Wade and LeBron combined for 53.

My memory failed me.

Wade was just as likely to have a bad game as Bosh in games the Heat lost. Bosh averaged 18.7 ppg during the regular season, 17 ppg in Heat losses. In every Heat loss each member of the Big Three participated in, at least one of them had a bad game. But they also won plenty of games when either LeBron, Wade, or Bosh put together a less than stellar performance. They did it with great defense and timely scoring from their supporting cast.

So far the supporting cast has come through: 34, 30, 25, and 33 points in Games 1, 2, 3, and 5, and lockdown team defense. But we don't want to hear about that. How will the Heat respond when they have the ball for the last possession, down by two. Who takes the shot? LeBron did in Game 4 and the Heat lost. Ultimately, the Heat will be judged in the closing seconds of a ball game. The closing seconds figure to mean more against Boston.  

A Good Cry

The Miami Heat taught us all a valuable lesson yesterday. Actually, a few valuable lessons. Firstly, about professional basketball, and secondly, their competitive spirit. The fun part of course is that we probably weren't meant to learn any of this.
Heat coach Erik Spoelstra's admission that a few Miami Heat players were crying in the locker room after their 87-86 loss to the Bulls set off yet another firestorm that the franchise has grown so accustomed to dealing with this year. Spoelstra's comments were meant to exhibit how badly the team wanted to win. Instead, most people used the comments to argue that the Heat were a mentally soft team, a viewpoint they probably already held, and were looking to confirm. And so goes the double standard...
There's a long-held view about the NBA, propagated mostly by the over-50 crowd that the players don't care. They're content earning a paycheck and being friends with each other. Basically, winning is the least of their worries.
The NBA naysayers point to the college game as a true model of how players should carry themselves. In this year's March Madness tournament, the camera will surely focus on a lone player on the bench, head down, crying into his towel. This will probably be a senior, and the best player on a lowly-ranked Cinderella team.
"Look at how passionate he is," the NBA naysayer will say. "Now that's a player who gave it his all, came up short, and couldn't hold his emotions in any longer. I've never seen an NBA player care that much."
So thank you Erik Spoelstra for revealing that your players were crying. Thank you Dwight Howard for going on The Dan Patrick Show and telling him that you cried numerous times after losses your rookie season, and also after losing the 2009 NBA Finals to the Lakers.
When college players cry it's because they care so much about the game, when professional players cry it's because they're pussies. NBA players care, maybe not all of them, but most do. The question should be, why are they crucified for caring?

There's some revisionist history at work regarding the 2010 Summer free-agency period. Most people now will say "The Decision" and the premature celebration parade the Heat threw before even filling out the roster were their main gripes. Lies, all lies.
The problem, in most people's eyes, was that LeBron and Wade, two of the best, if not the two best players in basketball were playing together. This was supposed to mark the end of competitiveness as we knew it. How could LeBron and Wade want to play together? Didn't they have a competitive bone in their body?
The Heat were looked at as a team that wanted to coast to a Championship. A team that would be able to put an end to all competition. Hell, even the Heat players themselves believed this. It hasn't worked out that way. The Heat are the third best team in the East. They're 1-9 against elite teams and have looked absolutely clueless on offense at times. It hasn't been easy, and it isn't going to be easy.
Now we're seeing the Heat's true colors. They realize they can't coast through the season. They're putting forth maximum effort, but guess what? They're just not that good. Not Championship-level good, at least.
I wrote a few weeks ago that teaming up may have been the most competitive thing the Heat could have done. The competition instead would come from within. Playing with elite teammates would in fact push them to greater heights, more so than playing against elite opponents ever could. Turns out I, and many others underrated their outside competition.
The Heat crying in the locker room tells me they've accepted a challenge and want to win. They may not win anything significant but it won't be because they're afraid of a little competition. At the end of the day, that's all I want. I want to feel like athletes give as much of a fuck as I do. And I believe the Heat do.
Some things are meant to stay in house. I'm glad this little crying incident didn't.

Bulls Do The Right Thing By Standing Pat

If Carmelo Anthony felt right patting himself on the back for dealing with a four-month trade saga that he himself created, then I feel I should at least give myself a well-deserved pat on the back for firmly standing by this current Bulls roster. Seemingly everyone wanted a trade before the deadline, even if that meant dealing one of our valuable back-up bigs, Taj Gibson or Omer Asik.
In an attempt to avoid giving up a big, the Bulls reportedly offered Ronnie Brewer, two first round picks and a second rounder for OJ Mayo, but the Grizzlies declined.
So there's that. I was and am OK with this roster without a trade or buyout pick-up. But I'm definitely not mad the Bulls front office went out and tried to make the team better. They didn't make a trade for the sake of making a trade, which is always good. They also didn't get rid of Asik, which, if my opinion mattered, would have been priority number one.
Asik is making 1.7 million this year and is set to make 1.8 million next year. For the amount of money he is making it's not out of line to say he's one of the biggest steals in the league this year. The Rockets realized this and were hoping the Bulls would make the deal out of desperation. Look no further than yesterday's Heat game to understand the impact that Asik is capable of off the bench. Sure, we can look at the box score and see he pulled down 11 rebounds and blocked a shot in only 21 minutes of play. That's impressive enough as it is.
But the box doesn't tell the story with Asik. Similar to Noah, he protects the rim and is able to alter a number of shots. This is particularly valuable against a team like the Heat. LeBron and Wade can get to the rim at will. They did against us and shot 18 combined free throws (a relatively low number for them).
When Noah was out the Bulls struggled to keep the oppositon out of the paint. Boozer and Thomas aren't shot blocking threats, and were most recently exposed in Toronto. Noah in the starting line-up and Asik off the bench will assure there's always a shot blocker down low. The Heat structure their line-up around being able to sit Wade and LeBron at different times, so one can always be on the court. If we're going to beat them in a seven game series, we're going to need someone at all times who can at least make life tough for them down low.
Courtney Lee's ability to hit the occasional three wouldn't be anywhere near as valuable as Asik's defense for the Bulls. Give me good defense over good offense anyday. I'm really happy they didn't pull the trigger on that deal.
Ronnie Brewer also came in and provided a spark. He has very active hands and is usually able to come up with one or two steals a game from pick-pocketing players lazily holding the ball in front of them. Brewer came up with four steals in the Heat game, three of which were crucial towards the Bulls' second half run.
Brewer receives credit for hovering around the baseline very well, but doesn't nearly get recognized for his improved jumper. He's been hitting 15 footers frequently this year, and is now a legitimate threat from that range. A year ago that last sentence seemed inconceivable. But more importantly, Brewer is an energy guy. He gets most of his points when he runs the floor or off easy put backs. Every team needs someone who can play around 20 minutes a game and go all out. Brewer is another guy who is more valuable that his stats indicate.
The trade deadline has come and gone and the original Bulls roster remains intact. The Bulls will likely explore buyout options, but the important thing is they didn't have to give up an asset to get one. This year in the NBA has been characterized by change. So many players have moved around, especially lately, that standing pat almost seems like an invitation to get passed by. The Bulls did the right thing. They have a roster that can compete for a championship right now. There's no use in tuning up a vehicle that doesn't need one.
Now if someone could please remove my hand from my back.

An Interesting Inquiry

Below is an excerpt from Larry Bird and Magic Johnson's book When The Game Was Ours, written by Jackie MacMullan:

   The "Dream Team" needed buffers for their privacy and their safety. During their 16 days in Barcelona, the Ambassador's game room served as an exclusive club where the players could shoot pool, play cards, enjoy a beer, and invent occasions to compete with one another.
On the night of August 7th, [some of the players] were wide awake, embroiled in an emotional debate over a simple question posed by Bird: which NBA team was the greatest of all time?
"Obviously one of our Lakers teams," answered Magic, leaning on his pool stick. "We won five championships. More than all of you."
"No, it's the great Celtics teams with my man Bill Russell," said center Patrick Ewing, who played for the New York Knicks but was raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts. "He won 11 rings."
"You're forgetting the '86 Celtics, with the best front line in the history of basketball, including this guy right here," added NBC commentator Ahmad Rashad, pointing to Bird.
"That Celtics front line was brutal," agreed Charles Barkley.
Jordan, refusing to allow the chatter to disrupt his concentration, knocked his ball into the corner pocket and puffed on his cigar. He was 29 years old and had just won his second straight championship and his sixth consecutive scoring title. His counterparts in the room were decorated NBA veterans, yet their body of work was nearly complete. The maestro of the Bulls was only just beginning to add new strokes to his championship canvas.
"You haven't even seen the best NBA team of all time yet," Jordan announced. "I'm just getting started. I'm going to win more championships than all of you guys. Tell you what. Let's have this conversation after I'm done playing."
"You aren't winning five championships," Magic protested.
"Michael, I'm going to steal at least one of them from you," Barkley shot back.
"Quiet," Bird said. "Charles, you ain't won nothing. You're out of this discussion. Ahmad, same thing. You're gone. Patrick, you don't have any championships either, so you need to shut up and sit down right here and learn some things."
Jordan insisted that his Chicago teams belonged in the conversation about the all-time greats; Bird reminded Jordan that he used to torture Scottie Pippen regularly before his back betrayed him.
"I feel sorry for you," Magic told Jordan. "You will never have what Larry and I had. We went two weeks without sleep knowing, if we made one mistake, the other guy was going to take it and use it to beat us. Who do you measure yourself against?"

Magic's last question, "Who do you measure yourself against?" particularly resonates in today's NBA. The League's current batch of stars has been criticized for being too friendly with each other, a criticism that reached its pinnacle this summer when LeBron, Wade, and Bosh joined the Heat together. But is "friendly" necessarily a bad thing?
Magic, Bird, and Jordan would have never played with each other. They said so themselves, and there's no reason to suggest otherwise. As the story goes, they were too preoccupied with trying to beat the other than to ever think of joining them. Fair enough.
From 1985 until the end of their careers, Magic and Bird had a friendly rivalry. They were cordial but still wanted to beat each other. Magic also wanted desperately to play with Bird -- in the 1992 Olympics. Battling chronic back problems, Bird had planned on foregoing the 1992 Olympic games. It was Magic that talked him into it. He was intrigued by the idea of playing with a comparably talented player who also exhibited the same competitive drive that separated him from the rest of his Laker teammates. Jordan called the Olympic experience, "The time of his life." Every member of the team relished the opportunity to play with teammates who pushed them everyday at practice.
Competitiveness is something we as fans often overlook. Great players, and teams for that matter, often get bored playing against inferior competition. Before this year, LeBron and Wade never played with anyone in their life that approached their skill set. The daily competition in practice will make them better players, in a way that competing against each other every so often couldn't.
That's not to say I agree with their decision to join the Heat. I still would have much rather seen them as the best player on two different teams. But the notion that one of them would have to scale down their game to accommodate the other has already been proven wrong. In fact, Wade and LeBron are better players this year than they were last year. I think just being around the other has brought out the best in them.
While never actualized, even members of the 1992 Dream Team recognized the vast potential of teaming up. LeBron and Wade were accused of lacking competitiveness because they took the dream of the 1992 Olympic squad and made it an NBA reality.
We may have all been wrong. The Heat may have done the competitive thing. They just did it in a way that the previous generation of players would have never conceived. 

The Heatles Photoshops

"We call ourselves the Heatles," LeBron James said after a 96-82 win in Charlotte, the seventh in Miami's current run of nine straight victories. James was referring to the Heat's ability to sell out "99.1 percent" of their road games, and probably was speaking to the larger than life image that both the media and themselves have worked so hard to try and create.
It's 2011, and you know what the means. Any comment, figure, or situation that is even mildly amusing gets its own wave of photoshops. "The Heatles" are no exception.

These two photoshops, referencing The Beatles' second album, 1964's Meet the Beatles! may look familiar (scroll all the way up). Just thought I would point that out, to prove I do come up with a good idea from time to time. Ignore the fact that these two examples are clearly superior to my own. You'd probably like me a little less if the layout was the highlight of this blog -- which it very well may be.
The only gripe I have is with Juwan Howard's inclusion. Was he the only one with a photoshop-friendly pose? Wouldn't Big Z, or even Eddie House have made a better Ringo?
That's the beauty of the Heat -- three important pieces, and the rest of the parts are interchangeable. Maybe LeBron's Beatles comparison wasn't so far off.

LeBron, D. Wade Photo "Isn't That Great"

Morry Gash's sensational picture taken during Miami's 88-78 win over the Bucks on Monday has made its rounds across the Internet. The photo has received an unparalleled amount of praise and already seems to be in the running for 'Best Sports Photo of the Year,' and one of the great sports photos of all-time.

Not to belittle Gash's great work, but have we forgotten the subject? This is the Miami Heat we're talking about. They've won five in a row against teams with a combined .403 winning percentage and all of a sudden they're off the hook? Downgrading every Heat accomplishment this season, strictly for the fun of it, is a full time job, and one that can't be derailed because of a pretty picture.

I present a cold six pack of reasons why this photo "Isn't That Great:"

1) The Christ imagery. Did El Greco take this picture? LeBron did not die for my sins. James conveniently descends upon everyone with his arms out and his head tilted to the side, being touched by his father Dwyane Wade. I feel like a religious agenda is being pushed on me just by looking at this picture, and that, I cannot get down with.

2) While Wade looks like he's presenting a James dunk to the world, he's really just arguing with a referee. He's looking precisely where a referee would be standing in this situation, lobbying for a call. The NBA has made a point of issuing out more technicals this year to players who complain. That's exactly what Wade is doing, and like the NBA, we shouldn't praise him for it.

3) LeBron commented on the photo via Twitter, saying "By far one of the best sports pics I've seen taken." Be honest, doesn't that make you hate him and this photo even more? What if I held up my senior portrait and said, "By far one of the best senior pics I've seen taken?" First 'The Decision,' now this, you know what -- never mind. Commenting on LeBron James' ego is beating a dead horse in every sense of the saying.

4) It just so happens that Wade's finger is in LeBron's ear, a popular form of taunting, and an age old way of annoying the crap out of someone. They're playing Milwaukee, OK. Showing up was one big taunt.

5) It's a little unsettling that there's an American flag in the background. Three famous men who lied, manipulated, and walked all over the little people to team up in a position of power. What's so American about that?

6) I can't help but notice the Bucks players on the floor playing defense, and I use the term defense loosely. Luc Richard Mbah a Moute (number 12), Brandon Jennings (standing around the free throw line, just managed to get his head into the photo), and John Salmons (I would recognize those calfs anywhere) are the three defenders in the vicinity of James. All three have combined for .96 blocks per game this season.

Meanwhile, one of the best shot blockers in the league, Andrew Bogut (number 6, 2.6 blocks per game), and Milwaukee's second best shot blocker, Larry Sanders (number 8, 1.4 blocks per game) are at the other end of the floor. Call me when LeBron dunks on someone who's capable of blocking his shot.

I do have one giant reason to love this photo and that is because it symbolizes the Heat's season up to this point. Wade is the focus of attention, face of the franchise if you will, despite not shouldering the scoring load. While James does the dirty work, he still looks like an extension of Wade's hand, or better yet, a Lil' Penny-esque puppet that Wade controls. And Chris Bosh, well, he's at the other end of the court watching, happy to be there.

Even When Bosh Wins, He Loses

Wednesday night's game was supposed to be Chris Bosh's coming out party. Everything was set up perfectly. Bosh has been criticized all season for his pedestrian-like 14 points and 6 rebounds a game. He found himself matched up with the likes of Channing Frye, Hakim Warrick, and Earl Clark - three soft defenders, and a Heat team that was willing to defer to him, fully aware that Bosh needed a big game, and this was a match up he could exploit.
Bosh delivered with a 35 point performance. While most of his points were jumpers and drives to the basket, he still put together his first dominant offensive performance of the year. The six rebounds thing? I think it's just time to accept Bosh isn't a double-double guy anymore, at least not on this team. Wade and LeBron take away a lot of rebounds and Bosh doesn't look too interested in grabbing them.
While the nationally televised audience's attention should have been focused on Bosh's game, and it was to an extent, Bosh's post-game comments stole the show and took on a life of their own.
In the interview Bosh said, "[Heat coach Erik Spoelstra] knows he has to meet us halfway. He wants to work, we wanna chill, but we're going to have to work to get everything down, to get our timing down, and to get our chemistry down."



All I heard was, "He wants to work, we wanna chill..." Apparently I wasn't alone, Jeff Van Gundy and Stuart Scott both made a big deal about the comment later on in the broadcast.
I'm not one of those people that think athletes should be in the gym 20 hours day. They're human beings, they deserve down time just like anyone else. The fans just don't want to hear about the down time, especially when contrasted so bluntly with hard work. Athletes get paid a lot, and when a player making the max level 14.5 million dollars this year expresses his willingness to chill, it won't go over too well.
Bosh deserves the benefit of the doubt here. I'm sure his thoughts on team chemistry and how he was fitting in to the offense came out wrong. With that being said, his comments were harmful for two reasons:
1) They weren't taken out of context, that was the full quote. Context is an athlete's "Get Out of Jail Free Card." Whenever they say something misguided, they blame the journalist: it was taken out of context. LeBron James used that very same excuse recently when he said his, "I'm playing too many minutes, 44 minutes is too much," quote was taken out of context. Bosh doesn't have that luxury. The interview was on national TV, it wasn't taken out of context. It might have come out wrong, but he still said what he said.
2) When he said we want to chill, he put words, and not so flattering words, into his teammate's mouths. They should be able to speak for themselves. Now one man's perceived laziness has the potential to become the aura surrounding the team's culture.
The Heat asked for these Presidential levels of scrutiny. I think they underestimated how bad it would get, but now have to deal with it, Bosh especially. He's like the youngest of the three brothers. What is anyone going to say to LeBron or Wade? They take over games. They've led previous teams to playoff success. We pick on the little brother because it's easy. He can't fight back so he has to call on his older brothers to come and beat us up. That's when we'll run and hide.
A halftime and a post-game interview was probably a dream come true for Bosh. He's made no secret about the fact he wants to be seen. He spent the entire offseason looking for attention. His performance, or lack thereof, on the court will get enough attention. He needs to be more careful about what he says because right now, he's only adding fuel to the fire. Apparently small market Toronto didn't prepare him for this.

Tonight We Make NBA History

Every generation of basketball fans have their defining moment. That moment is what they will associate with basketball from the era they grew up.
My defining moments were twofold. The first occurred on April 16, 1996 - the day the Bulls won their NBA record 70th regular season game. At the time, I was nine years old, and didn't fully understand the significance of that record. The post game interviews on the court with Johnny "Red" Kerr, mountains of merchandise marking the event, or the fact that the Bradley Center was filled with mostly Bulls fans that night still didn't completely register with me.
It was something my dad said that night. We were watching the post game interviews and he turned to me and said, "You know, you're really lucky that you got to see Michael Jordan play."
That was it. And that's all it took.
To me, Jordan was a constant. He had been playing for the Bulls for four years before I was even born. I grew up rooting for a Championship basketball team, the best player in the world, and had no idea how unusual that was. Kind of like being born into money. You mean, everyone doesn't live in a mansion, have a maid, and a chauffeur to drive them around?
Of course, things had changed for me by 1998, now age eleven. It was pretty well known that this was going to be Jordan's last year, and the last year of the Bulls dynasty as a whole. I was a little older, and beginning to appreciate how hard it was to win as many games and championships as the Bulls did.
So when Jordan made that last shot in Utah to clinch the 1998 NBA Finals, I knew it was the end of an era, and consequently, my memories of basketball growing up.
The Bulls' 70th win and Jordan's game winner are the two moments that embody that NBA era to me.

The opening night of the 2010-11 NBA season tonight will mark a similar significance in NBA history, none of which actually has to do with what happens on the court. The Heat might win, so might the Celtics. LeBron, or Wade, or Bosh, or even all three may have a big game.
Either way, many people will overreact after the outcome of this game is decided. Celtics win and they're better than the Heat, and an NBA Finals lock. Heat lose, and they're a sham, if they win, they'll contend for 72 wins.
The fact of the matter is that the first game of the season doesn't decide anything in the NBA. This game is significant for a number of other reasons. This offseason marked the shift in power from the owners to players and the advantage of bigger markets over smaller markets despite a salary cap meant to level the playing field. It marked the changing dynamics of fans and athletes, and possibly the end of star players' competitive fire as we knew it. The Heat's opening game will bring all of these combative and sometimes confusing ideas to fruition.
If there's one thing I'm sure of it's that we won't know the significance of the Heat until about 2030. By that time, the championships, wins, and careers of the players involved will be an afterthought. We'll be able to look back at the nature of fan reactions and media coverage.
Until then, enjoy the 2010-11 NBA season. We're witnessing the most significant moment of this NBA era, we're just not sure what that significance is yet.

Just Wright - Two Rights Can Make A Wrong

We've all heard the saying "Two wrongs don't make a right." Theoretically then, two rights shouldn't make a wrong, correct? As I found out this weekend, that is most definitely not true.
How can Common, one of the greatest rappers of all time in my opinion, who gave us this classic metaphorical track, one of the greatest songs of the 90s...


and this classic DJ Premier produced cut, one of the greatest songs of the 2000s...



Coupled with basketball, the game that gave us such great moments as Michael Jordan's 1998 NBA Finals game winner...



and John Havlicek's improbable steal to seal Game 7 of the 1965 Division Finals...



Create this travesty?

To be fair, I wasn't expecting this movie to be good. One look at the movie poster is all it takes to know this film is going to be filled with supremely awkward moments. For that reason alone, I decided to rent Just Wright and watch it with my girlfriend.
Here are my Top 5 train wreck moments:
1) Scott McKnight (Common) is playing the piano while rehabbing his knee injury. Yes, he apparently plays the piano quite well. Leslie (Queen Latifah, his physical therapist who becomes his love interest) brings him a plate of some marshmallow and chocolate chip cookie concoction. Scott takes a bite and whispers to Leslie in a pseudo-smooth voice, "Incredible." Common doesn't do the romantic moments too well.
2) Scott McKnight, star player for the New Jersey Nets, injures his knee while attempting a spin move...in the All Star Game. Has anyone ever tried hard enough to warrant an injury in the All Star Game? I had to laugh at this.
3) In that same All Star Game, they were able to reel in Marv Albert, Mike Fratello, and Kenny Smith to make an appearance as the announcing team. During the pre-game analysis, Fratello says something like, "We have many great stars here tonight. Dwyane Wade, Dwight Howard, but most people are here to see Scott McKnight." Too over the top, and since when do people watch the All Star Game to see one player? Isn't every All Star kind of a big draw?
4) Dwight Howard stops by McKnight's house to inform him that the Nets are not planning on offering him a new contract. While it's funny that he'd hear this news from Howard first, that's not the best part. Howard enters the room by grabbing Common's remote control airplane mid-flight and then does a dance my girlfriend says is called "The Stanky Leg."
5) The lack of chemistry between Common and Queen Latifah. Something tells me they'd have much better chemistry in the booth. Their kiss at the end of the movie was painful to watch. You could tell neither wanted any part of that. I would have preferred to watch 100 minutes of Paula Patton.
I'm not sure if this movie was intended to be a comedy, but it gave me a few laughs. If you're in to movies that are so bad they're good, check this one out.