To All The Przybillas and a Hundred Dollar Billas

"Disappointment never looked this good."

I happened again. The Bulls dropped their third in the last five after only losing three of their first sixteen games. It's obviously time to panic. You can only place the onus on Deng's return for so long. The Bulls need to make a move and they need to do it now. Dwight Howard recently said he'd be interested in playing in Chicago. He also unknowingly agreed to a long-term deal with the Beirut Bandits, so take his word for what it's worth. Howard to the Bulls isn't happening and Bulls fans know it. Think smaller, more under the radar, but big impact implications. Consider a different 7-foot shot-blocking machine who used to grab 20 boards when given the playing time. Think Joel Przybilla. He's been waiting patiently. He's wants back in. He has plenty to prove and he needs to prove it in a Bulls uniform.

Przybilla was the 9th overall pick in the 2000 Draft--a draft renowned for its legendary awfulness. This alone makes him a particularly suitable candidate to play 10 minutes a game every tenth game. The oft-injured center was seen jiving on the bench with Greg Oden during his six-year stint in Portland. The duo made the best of a frustrating situation. They compared suits, often leaving the price tag on because who wants to pay for 55 different suits a season when they can just take them back? They chastised Andre Miller's haircut from a distance and exchanged sweet potato pie recipes. Occasionally Przybilla would be forced to leave his friend and play in a game that night. Oden, sulking and lonely, watched as Przybilla developed into a defensive force. He blocked shots and grabbed rebounds with the ferociousness of a descending turkey vulture. He did all of the things (besides score) that Oden was supposed to do better and more frequently for the Trail Blazers.

The Sixers scored 46 of their 98 points in the paint (47 percent) against the Bulls last night. That number is entirely too high for a perimeter-oriented team. Now I ask you, would Przybilla's presence at the end of the Bulls' bench not help in this department? Would his acquisition not put the Eastern Conference on notice like Rasual Butler's did last year? At the very least, Przybilla provides insurance should one of the bigs go down with an injury, assuming Przybilla doesn't go down with an injury first. Przybilla's arrival would also allow Brian Scalabrine to return to the familiar 'victory cigar' role he excelled at last season. In a lockout-shortened season bereft of continuity, Przybilla's arrival could change everything.

As much as I would like to suggest differently, my newfound support of Przybilla is motivated by a case of 'Keeping up with the Jameses.' Przybilla is currently mulling over offers from the Bulls and Heat and expected to make a decision sometime this week. If the Bulls don't get Przybilla, then the Heat do, and I don't want the Heat to get anyone. Envy has its limits. The Heat can take Eddy Curry and place whatever hopes they feel comfortable with on his ability to not register on the Richter Scale. Eddy Curry at best is a resealed driveway. Przybilla could potentially be new siding. I don't care if you can't afford it. You dip into the savings, call up your father-in-law crying, do whatever you have to do to make sure your asshole neighbors aren't the only ones in the neighborhood with new siding.

In summation, Joel Przybilla will contribute very little to the Bulls. He won't play unless someone is injured, but he will designate Scalabrine back to the bench. He may be the secret weapon to clogging up driving lanes in the playoffs or he may pull up lame his first game back on the court. He certainly will not have a problem elbowing a driving Derrick Rose in the head, and I would much rather it be a driving LeBron James or Dwyane Wade he is elbowing in the head. The Heat could use a goonish big man and thus, should not be allowed to have one.

Make it happen Bulls. Send someone else out on the recruiting trip if Derrick Rose doesn't want to go. Joel Przybilla cannot land in Miami. Where he goes will shift the balance of power in the East or make no difference at all.     

Those Dreaded Bandwagoners

"No bandwagon fans!" Say it with me. "No bandwagon fans! We remember everyone. From Eddy Curry, to Eddie Robinson, to James F'n Edwards. You don't belong in the same seats as we do. What high school did Derrick Rose go to? And what is his favorite mid-afternoon treat? I betcha can't answer me those simple questions with your bandwagon-hoppin' ass."

As much as I'd enjoy engaging in luminous "discussions" such as the one above, I just can't. The notion of a bandwagon fan, and even more so, the hate directed towards them is puzzling. The Bulls have surpassed 60 wins for the first time since the 1998 Championship year. They've clinched the number one overall seed through out the playoffs. Derrick Rose is going to be this year's MVP. These type of accomplishments get a team noticed. With notoriety comes the dreaded bandwagon fans.

Let's first recognize the player/fan distinction. Rose, like MVP's who pull off at least one highlight-reel moment per game, has added some fans to an already extensive list. Basketball fans all over the country tune in to Bulls games to watch Rose play. They could care less about the team's success, although things get a bit murky because a superstar's individual success usually correlates with his team's success. I went through a similar infatuation period with Allen Iverson during his peak years in Philadelphia. I was an Iverson fan, thrust into rooting for the 76ers by default.  I wanted to see more A.I., and that meant the Sixers had to win.

These type of fans get lumped in with bandwagoners. Ironic in the sense that players don't truly build MVP cases until fans, analysts, and writers outside of their market start to embrace them. The Bulls fans who didn't want Rose/non-Bulls fans to sit at their table were the same one's claiming he got no respect from the media. I think that was a proper example of irony. If not, I give up.

Fans living in a state other than the one where their team is located are often categorized as bandwagoners. This can be true, but ignores the reality that people move away from home and take their fan allegiances with them. There are Bulls fan in California, New York, Texas, Florida, even across Europe and Africa. Some are from Chicago and others aren't.

But what about those who aren't from Chicago? Let's say for example they began rooting for the Bulls during the 1990s and have continued ever since. They didn't previously have ties the city or the organization but have since remained loyal to the franchise. We wouldn't call them bandwagoners--but at one point they were. They were originally attracted to the Bulls because they were winning/had star power, and whether they stuck by them or not, were on the dreaded bandwagon at one point.

Somewhere in Iowa little Timothy saw Derrick Rose on SportsCenter and pretends to be him when he plays outside in the front yard. He watches the Bulls from time to time, whenever they're on national TV, and notices they're really good. The state of Iowa doesn't have a NBA team, so the Bulls become his team. Little Timothy could have just as easily picked the Timberwolves, but they're not on national TV and don't have a player that makes the plays Derrick Rose does. Some Bulls fans want nothing to do with Timothy. They say he isn't a real fan because he didn't watch any of their games last year. He didn't have to suffer through Vinny Del Negro. He doesn't even know that we traded LaMarcus Aldridge for the God-awful Tyrus Thomas on Draft Night. He wasn't even alive to see the six Championships and would have been too young to remember the fallout of those teams.

Timothy will remain a Bulls fan for the rest of his life. 2011 happened to be the perfect storm of style, substance, and W's to lure him in. Timothy is a fictional character made up for the purpose of this post. But there are thousands of Timothys from all over the world. They're the new generation of Bulls fans and they had to start somewhere. Don't deny them. You're no more of a fan than they are. A 40-year old isn't smarter than a 20 year-old because they've lived 20 years longer.

An important element of the sports fan's experience is the communal bond. It's fun to interact with fellow fans on the Internet. Live games are much better when the venue is packed. Wearing the same colors, jerseys, and hats make us feel like we're part of something. But ultimately, being a fan is a singular experience. A team's successes, failures, and players over the years will mean something different to each person. Bulls fans who live to drop names like Ron Mercer and Khalid El-Amin are going to have a different perspective and understanding of this team's success than someone who began watching this year.

That singular perspective is why I'm surprised so many people care about bandwagon fans. What does this team mean to you? Why does it matter how anyone else chooses to enjoy this team? The Bulls gained some lifetime fans this year. They also gained some passing fans who will move on to the next team eventually. Like it or not, we're all in this together. I long for the day when fans realize they're not in competition with each other. Until then, enjoy these Michael Ruffin Spanish League highlights.