Ersan Ilyasova Reprises His Starring Role

It's been quite the stretch for Ersan Ilyasova, highlighted by a 29-point, 25-rebound effort on Sunday against the Nets. With increased playing time, Ilyasova has picked up some of the scoring slack and is now the Bucks' best rebounder by default thanks to another Andrew Bogut injury. The Bulls kept him in check all night, leaving his string of big games to disappear into the wind along with his once-promising acting career.

 Most people have forgotten Ilyasova's short stint as Daniel Desario in the cult classic television show Freaks and Geeks. Ilyasova worked under the name "James Franco" and has since spawned a pretty successful career for a look-a-like who goes by the same name. Contrary to popular belief, Ilyasova did not write, or has at least denied any responsibility for the travesty known as Palo Alto: Stories, now available on Amazon for as low as 73 cents. Here are some of Ilyasova's most memorable scenes from the short-lived comedy.    

"I don't give damn bout my reputation..."

Da na na na na na na 

"Chuck up bad shot in any situation..."

Da na na na na na na

"Which am I? Dungeon or Dragon?

"No, Daniel. The name of the game is Dungeons and Dragons. Roll the dice to find out your ability score."

[Ersan rolls dice]

"Dwarf?!?! Daniel stands 6 feet and 10 inches tall. Daniel is no dwarf."

"Dwarfs are good. They can do a lot of things the big guys can't do. They're tough and really good at finding jewels.

"Jewels, you say? Fine. Daniel will be dwarf."

"Weren't you the guy with the crazy girlfriend?"


"Yes. We split apart. We do just not share of similar interests anymore. She not into current affairs. I am. She not a punker. I AM!"


"Really? You know what punkers don't do?"


[Ersan remains silent]


"Call themselves punkers. What do you listen to?"


"The Clash. Iggy. The Ramones. Sex Pistols. Rashit. Pisliks. Tunay Akdeniz and Cigrisim. How about you for those obscure bands?"

"Well, that suck."


"Royally."


"No guys, it sounded a lot better."


"I'm out here."


"Where are you going, Daniel? We need to rehearse more."


"No, it is you that do rehearsing. I quit."


"You can't quit. We need to practice."


"You are dumb ass, Andopolis. Rock and roll to do not come from brain. It come from my crotch. Why you think I wear mask, huh? For shit and giggle? For horse play time? This not job for me, Mr. Cute Shorts. And if you ever got any, you know that.

[Omer Asik guest-starred on one episode as Daniel's friend, Nick Andopolis, formerly played by Jason Segel]


"Nick, do you make out man behind us."


"I do. Big movie star."


"His name, it escapes me."


"And me as well."


"He is the I'm fat guy who knock up hot girl, correct?"


"I believe so, yes."


"Do we ask him for autograph."


"Absolutely NO, Daniel. He ask us. We are big bad American basketball stars."


"Do you think he know our faces?"


"No. Sadly, no. We a couple of tall Turks to him."


"Nick, let me put this, how you say, gently. Why is your chin bleed?"


"My dad, army man, hit me in face. Day in the life."

Sheek Louch - Turkish Love

When the Bulls acquired Omer Asik on Draft Day 2008 in a three team trade with Portland and Denver, not too many Bulls fans noticed. The draft was already half-way into the second round and Jay Bilas, fresh out of measurements, sat in silence as Adam Silver basked in the glory of being David Stern without the vitriol. The Bulls had already made a more important acquisition that night, some might say. So important, the prospect of a 7'0 Turkish center who wasn't coming over for a few years anyway hardly seemed like a pressing matter. In the meantime, an exciting playoff series with Boston and the real possibility of signing LeBron James held us over. When Asik did come over in the summer of 2010, the reaction to his arrival bordered closer to indifference than any other concrete emotion. Kurt Thomas signed and figured to steal the majority of the backup center minutes. And how was Omer Asik pronounced anyway? I'm not sure anyone knew, and some of us still don't. We discussed him though and spoke about what we perceived to be his strengths and weaknesses -- all without seeing game tape or hearing a proper pronunciation of his name.

Asik was the great unknown two summer ago. The 7-footer who could solidify the second team's defense or the guy who wouldn't play at all. We had no idea. Did he speak English? It certainly didn't appear like it. When he did see the court, he was an easy target. He tired easily and attempted layups with the touch one might expect from the World's Strongest Man. He fell for pump fakes -- EVERY pump fake -- and looked so dumbfounded doing so he called into question the legality of pump fakes in Turkey. Then something clicked for Omer. He realized his size was his greatest advantage and the team was best served when he parked in the lane and stood straight up. By playoff time, Asik was a legitimate force off the bench, and arguably the second team's most important player. His block numbers don't jump out at you -- 2.0 Per 36 last year.* His value was in the number of shots he altered. Opponents driving to the basket struggled shooting over Asik and trying to get around him in mid-air. His presence in the lane was a big reason why the bench almost always extended leads last year and why Asik finished playoff games against the Heat and continues to finish games this year. Last February, most Bulls fans were more than willing to part with Asik for Courtney Fucking Lee. I think their opinions of him have changed. Asik is more than a Stacey King pun. He's a legit work-in-progress who would start for a number of teams in the league right now.

* - According to Defensive Rating, a statistic used to measure an individual player's effectiveness on defense, Omer Asik is the 7th best player in the NBA. Defensive Rating is not without its flaws. A player's rating is influenced significantly by the players around him. For instance, Carlos Boozer is rated 13th among all players, and 76ers players (the best defensive team in the NBA thus far) occupy spots 1-5. Still, this is a pretty reliable rating system and I find it telling that Asik is the Bulls' top-rated defender.   

I bring this up because Asik demonstrated his limitless potential on a single play yesterday. Early in the second quarter, John Lucas dumped the ball into Asik in the post and without hesitation he sunk a 12-foot hook shot over Kevin Love. It was a beautiful moment, and to my knowledge, the best scoring play of Asik's NBA career. Then I got to thinking: why can't he consistently hit that shot? Sure, he has NO touch and would probably have trouble consistently catching the entry pass, but I don't think developing a 12-foot hook shot in the offseason is too much to ask. Couple that shot with a few offensive put backs and Asik could easily average 10 points per game as a starter. The conditioning, defensive awareness, and free throw shooting should come with time. This sounds great, right? Well, maybe not.

Asik's contract is up after this year and even moderately skilled 7-footers in this league GET PAID. The Bulls can extend a qualifying offer to him worth about 2.3 million but it's unclear if he will accept it. Asik can accept the qualifying offer and become an unrestricted free agent in 2013, or decline the qualifying offer and become a restricted free agent after this season. He'll stand to make much more than 2.3 million dollars per year from another team, so declining the qualifying offer would be wise. Should he decline and become a restricted free agent the Bulls can match any contract offered to him. But if Asik gets a sizable offer like I think he will, the Bulls probably won't be in a position to match it. Asik has shown glimpses of his potential on both ends and it's possible that potential will be realized in a different uniform.

In many ways, Asik is still the great unknown. We don't know if he'll ever develop serviceable post moves, or if he'll be playing for a team that even needs him to score. We don't know if he'll be able to stay out of foul trouble playing starter minutes. We don't if his hands will improve -- a problem that costs him one or two easy baskets a game. We do know he's already one of the best rebounding and defensive centers in the game and it's kind of scary to think where the Bulls would be with only Noah and an unproven backup. This unnerving thought could be a reality next season.                       

Bulls Do The Right Thing By Standing Pat

If Carmelo Anthony felt right patting himself on the back for dealing with a four-month trade saga that he himself created, then I feel I should at least give myself a well-deserved pat on the back for firmly standing by this current Bulls roster. Seemingly everyone wanted a trade before the deadline, even if that meant dealing one of our valuable back-up bigs, Taj Gibson or Omer Asik.
In an attempt to avoid giving up a big, the Bulls reportedly offered Ronnie Brewer, two first round picks and a second rounder for OJ Mayo, but the Grizzlies declined.
So there's that. I was and am OK with this roster without a trade or buyout pick-up. But I'm definitely not mad the Bulls front office went out and tried to make the team better. They didn't make a trade for the sake of making a trade, which is always good. They also didn't get rid of Asik, which, if my opinion mattered, would have been priority number one.
Asik is making 1.7 million this year and is set to make 1.8 million next year. For the amount of money he is making it's not out of line to say he's one of the biggest steals in the league this year. The Rockets realized this and were hoping the Bulls would make the deal out of desperation. Look no further than yesterday's Heat game to understand the impact that Asik is capable of off the bench. Sure, we can look at the box score and see he pulled down 11 rebounds and blocked a shot in only 21 minutes of play. That's impressive enough as it is.
But the box doesn't tell the story with Asik. Similar to Noah, he protects the rim and is able to alter a number of shots. This is particularly valuable against a team like the Heat. LeBron and Wade can get to the rim at will. They did against us and shot 18 combined free throws (a relatively low number for them).
When Noah was out the Bulls struggled to keep the oppositon out of the paint. Boozer and Thomas aren't shot blocking threats, and were most recently exposed in Toronto. Noah in the starting line-up and Asik off the bench will assure there's always a shot blocker down low. The Heat structure their line-up around being able to sit Wade and LeBron at different times, so one can always be on the court. If we're going to beat them in a seven game series, we're going to need someone at all times who can at least make life tough for them down low.
Courtney Lee's ability to hit the occasional three wouldn't be anywhere near as valuable as Asik's defense for the Bulls. Give me good defense over good offense anyday. I'm really happy they didn't pull the trigger on that deal.
Ronnie Brewer also came in and provided a spark. He has very active hands and is usually able to come up with one or two steals a game from pick-pocketing players lazily holding the ball in front of them. Brewer came up with four steals in the Heat game, three of which were crucial towards the Bulls' second half run.
Brewer receives credit for hovering around the baseline very well, but doesn't nearly get recognized for his improved jumper. He's been hitting 15 footers frequently this year, and is now a legitimate threat from that range. A year ago that last sentence seemed inconceivable. But more importantly, Brewer is an energy guy. He gets most of his points when he runs the floor or off easy put backs. Every team needs someone who can play around 20 minutes a game and go all out. Brewer is another guy who is more valuable that his stats indicate.
The trade deadline has come and gone and the original Bulls roster remains intact. The Bulls will likely explore buyout options, but the important thing is they didn't have to give up an asset to get one. This year in the NBA has been characterized by change. So many players have moved around, especially lately, that standing pat almost seems like an invitation to get passed by. The Bulls did the right thing. They have a roster that can compete for a championship right now. There's no use in tuning up a vehicle that doesn't need one.
Now if someone could please remove my hand from my back.