Monday, August 2, 2010

Haynesworth Passes Air Conditioning Test

The concerns of hogettes everywhere were quieted Monday morning, as defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth finally passed the air conditioning test given to all occupants of the hotel he is staying at. Haynesworth and the rest of his teammates are staying at an unnamed hotel in Ashburn, VA for the remainder of Redskins training camp, which ends August 8th.
Haynesworth was the only member of the team that was forced to pass the air conditioning test, because of what head coach Mike Shanahan called a "timing issue."
"Albert did not check into the hotel before the 12 o'clock deadline we set for the team," Shanahan explained. "Had he done so, the test would have been performed for him by a member of the hotel staff."
The air conditioning test consisted of a number of drills that ensured the air conditioning was sufficiently cooling the room. While it is not clear what these drills were, Shanahan insisted that they needed to be met before a player was ready to participate in training camp.
"The test was simple, really," Shanahan said. "The last thing we need is for a guy to become dehydrated or to sweat off a few pounds in the hotel room. There will be plenty of time for that in training camp itself."
Haynesworth, a former first round draft choice of the Tennessee Titans, signed a seven year 100 million dollar contract with the Redskins in 2009. Many people see is failure to pass the air conditioning test as an extension of the poor play and attitude problems that plagued him last season.
"I mean how hard is it to check the goddam air conditioning," Redskins fan Marv Dugle said. "All you do is turn a goddamn knob. My wife has done it everyday for me this summer."
Before passing the test, Haynesworth failed on two separate occasions. The first time, he appeared confused about what exactly he was supposed to do and by the time he figured it out, time had expired.
The second time, bending over to check that the air flow had been properly circulating through the vent, Haynesworth injured his knee and was unable to continue the test.
"The third time's a charm," Haynesworth said with a smile. "I'm looking forward to spending plenty of time in this nicely air conditioned hotel room rehabbing my knee, while the rest of my teammates are out there grinding in 100 degree heat." 

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