Wednesday, January 26, 2011

On To The Next One

On Monday, I wrote a piece vehemently defending Jay Cutler. I argued that the wave of criticism thrown Cutler's way was unfair. The gist of my argument was that veiled behind the talk of MCL sprains, toughness, and body language was really just a critique of Jay Cutler the person -- not Jay Cutler the player.
Simply put, if a quarterback such as Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers went down with the same injury and reacted the same way on the bench, we would not have seen a national outcry. The consensus on Cutler is that he's a jerk. He doesn't get along with the media and makes very little public effort to endear himself to Chicago Bears fans. Judging by this criteria, quitting on his team seemed like something that our pigeonholed version of Jay Cutler would do. Perception became reality.
I'm all for calling out a player who doesn't seem to be giving maximum effort in the most important game of the season, but this wasn't the case on Sunday. Cutler was sacked 57 times this season. He missed the first game of his career this year because of a concussion he suffered in the Giants game. He took a beating and didn't once complain publicly. He didn't quit then, which is why it's hard for me to believe he would quit now.
It's difficult to criticize a quarterback when his team is winning. Cutler's critics saw an opportunity on Sunday and ran with it. They've wanted to spew this venom for some time now and finally got their chance. The Bears looked in preseason to be a team with 5-11 talent. They finished 11-5, in large part due to Cutler's play. The criticism was unfair, shortsighted, and levied with such force because people don't like Jay Cutler, and they couldn't stand seeing him have success.
That's the short version of what I wrote on Monday. Somehow, the post didn't save and I wasn't able to recover it. Probably just as well, the last thing all of need is another Jay Cutler rambling. Which incidentally, is what I accidentally just gave you.
All we can do now is move on. When your girlfriend dumps you, it's OK to sulk for a week or so, and then you have to find someone new to obsess over. Fortunately for us Chicago sports fans, we can move on to a sexier and more stable woman, who is less likely to drive us up the wall with her inconsistent behavior. I'm of course referring to the Chicago Bulls.
All puns aside, I couldn't wish for a better rebound team. The Bulls are 31-14, hold a 13 game lead in the Central Division, and are only a half a game behind Miami for the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference. All of this without Noah or Boozer for almost every game this season.
Derrick Rose has been such a joy to watch because he's improved in every area of his game that was considered a weakness last year. He can knock down threes and mid range jumpers, and has punished defenders that have thought otherwise. He's displayed great court awareness, consistently finding  the open man. The difference this year is that his teammates are making more shots and getting wide open looks. The spacing of this year's team is otherworldly in comparison to last year. Rose has also improved defensively. He's nowhere near an elite defender yet, but is no longer a liability. The team as a whole has been bailed out with some great defensive performances this year.
My favorite Rose game was last Thursday against Dallas, even though it was one of his worst shooting nights of the year. Rose went 9-28, a paltry 32 percent from the field. He did a little bit of everything, playing 44 minutes and finishing with 26 points, 9 assists, and 7 rebounds.
Why be so proud of such a poor shooting performance, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. This game was a microcosm of what the Bulls season had been up to this point. Rose received no help -- no other Bulls player scored in double figures. He played with a lineup of Ronnie Brewer, Luol Deng, Taj Gibson, and Kurt Thomas for the majority of the game against one of the four best teams in the Western Conference. Dirk wasn't fully recovered from a knee injury and Caron Butler was out for the season, but with the combination of their size and ability to run the floor, this was a game that the Mavericks should have won.
Rose stepped up despite facing double teams all game, shouldered the offensive load, and the Bulls as a team played great defense. It wasn't a pretty 82-77 victory, but a win is a win.
The same can be said for the Bulls season so far. They haven't always looked like an offensive juggernaut, but their defense has kept them in games. They're only going to get better, assuming they're fully healthy when Noah returns in a few weeks. Come March, the Bulls should be hitting their stride -- at the perfect time.
This isn't a bad situation to fall into at all. And on the plus side, Rose will never be accused of quitting on his team.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

2006 NFC Championship Highlights

Just a reminder of what happened the last time the Bears played in the NFC Championship game......at home.....with a shaky quarterback.....against a red-hot quarterback ready to make the leap into elite status.....and expected to lose. Bears 39 - 14 Saints.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

San Antonio's 70 Win Pace

I usually don't start paying attention to the NBA standings until after the All-Star break. Playoff positioning is usually determined in the last two months, as teams either cement their standing or make a deal to try and move up. But what the Spurs are doing this regular season so far deserves special attention.
Now I knew the Spurs were rolling, obviously, but I wasn't aware of the waters they're currently treading. When the Western Conference standings scrolled across my TV screen a few nights ago and I saw: 1) San Antonio Spurs - 35-6 (the Spurs beat the Raptors yesterday and are now 36-6), I had to do a double take. 35-6!? I did some quick math. That's 41 games, the midway point of the NBA season. I did some more math. They're on pace for 70 wins. That's dangerously close to the 1996 Bulls' record setting 72 win season.
It's not like I pop bottles after the the last team loses their 11th game every year. In fact, I don't think about the record at all. I always kind of assumed it would never be broken. It takes a steady combination of luck, health, motivation, and talent to even approach 70 wins. It's rare to see these four factors working in unison in today's NBA.
Still, three teams in recent history have come close: The 2007 Mavericks (67 wins), 2008 Celtics (66 wins), and 2009 Cavaliers (66 wins). All three teams have two things in common:
1) The core of each team was in the primes of their career.
2) A huge motivating factor (I'll explain them next) occurred the year before. This factor inspired them so much that they returned the next year and took the league by storm.

2007 MAVERICKS   
Ages of Core Players: Dirk Nowitzki (28), Josh Howard (26), Jason Terry (29).
Motivating Factor: Up 2-0 in the 2006 NBA Finals, the Mavericks held a 13 point lead in Game 3 with just over 6 minutes left in the game. The Mavs were outplayed in the first half but had put together an excellent defensive 3rd quarter, outscoring the Heat 34-16 and took that momentum into the 4th. The Heat mounted a furious comeback behind Wade's 42 points (and 18 free throw attempts) to edge out the Mavs 98-96. It should be noted that Nowitzki had an opportunity to tie the game with one second on the clock, but missed his second free throw.
The Mavs went on to lose the next three games, completing one of the most epic collapses in NBA history. Motivated by how they went out the year before, the Mavs dominated regular season competition all year. But we all remember what happened next. They choked again. This time in the first round against 8th seeded Golden State. Can you think of a worse way to lose in two consecutive years?

2008 CELTICS
Ages of Core Players: Kevin Garnett (31), Paul Pierce (30), Ray Allen (32)
Motivating Factor: The Celtics had won 24 games the year before and had been slowly wasting the prime years of Pierce's career. Then Boston GM Danny Ainge got bold and dealt for veteran future Hall of Famers Garnett and Allen. Despite already decorated careers, neither of the three had won a Championship. Ainge's message was clear: Championship or bust.
The Celtics terrorized the league, starting the season 27-3. It was obvious that this team was taking nothing for granted and came to play every night. Add to that a weak division, and the Celtics were practically unbeatable in the regular season. At this time, Rajon Rondo was looked at as a possible liability.
Despite their struggles in the first two rounds, the Celtics went on to defeat the Lakers in the Finals and vindicate the careers of the Big Three.

2009 CAVALIERS
Age of Core Players: LeBron James (24), Mo Williams (26). Who was the third wheel on this team? Was there even a third wheel? I think that speaks to how good LeBron was playing.
Motivating Factor: Two year prior the Cavs (or should I say LeBron) made an improbable run to the NBA Finals. They capitalized off a weak Eastern Conference and the spectacular individual play of James. Their run was cut short by who else but the San Antonio Spurs in the Finals.
The following year, the Cavs were pitted against the newly formed Boston team in the second round. They lost but took Boston to seven games and looked like a team on the verge. The Celtics also showed signs of weakness that year, as they went 0-6 on the road in the first two rounds. The Cavs were poised to takeover the East, and LeBron -- the league.
The Cavs steamrolled through the first two rounds sweeping both Detroit and Atlanta. While LeBron averaged 38.5 points a game in the EC Finals, it wasn't enough to take down a Magic team that was firing on all cylinders and feeding off the confidence of defeating Boston the round before.

Now for a look at the Spurs. Here's what they've done in the regular season the last 10 years. Their playoff seed is in parentheses next to their win total.
2001 - 58 (1), Lost WC Finals
2002 - 58 (2), Lost in Semifinal
2003 - 60 (1), Won Championship
2004 - 57 (3), Lost in Semifinal
2005 - 59 (2), Won Championship
2006 - 63 (1), Lost in Semifinal
2007 - 58 (3), Won Championship
2008 - 56 (3), Lost in WC Finals
2009 - 54 (3), Lost in First Round
2010 - 50 (7), Lost in Semifinal

And here are some offseason playoff seed predictions for the Spurs:
Basketball-Reference - 3rd
CBSSports.com - 3rd
SI.com - 4th
ESPN.com - 5th
Sporting News - 8th

It's safe to say that no one expected the Spurs to perform the way they have up to this point. But why? Perhaps they set the bar too high . From 2000-08 they averaged 59 wins a season and won three Championships. The last two years they've averaged 52 wins (we're going to pretend like that's a bad thing) and were eliminated in the first round in 2008, and swept out of the second round in 2009. In other words, it appeared like the dynasty was about to crumble.
But let's not forget that in 2008 Ginobili missed half the season and the playoffs. In 2009, the Spurs struggled to incorporate Richard Jefferson into the offense and made an effort to get younger. Needless to say, it was going to take a year to adjust. But when you're an aging team and get swept by the uptempo Suns' offense, the easy explanation is that you are too old to contend anymore.
What intrigues me the most about the Spurs is they defy the two categories of a 70-win challenger I layed out earlier. Duncan (34) and Ginobili (33), while still effective players, are past their prime. They haven't made any huge additions, and no Tiago Splitter doesn't count. Not yet, at least. (Interesting sidenote: The sites that predicted the Spurs would finish in the Top 3 did so with the assumption that Splitter would be more of a contributor than he has been this year).
So what is their motivating factor? It has been three years since they were serious Championship contenders. I have three theories.
1) They've finally developed the chemistry with Jefferson and the younger players they expected last year. Duncan and Ginobili don't have to play as many minutes, which is a huge bonus.
2) We were so blinded by the Lakers and Thunder in the offseason that we forgot there were other teams in the West capable of making it to the Finals. Everyone (myself included) basically gave the West to the Lakers, and another, smaller contingent bought into the Scoring Title/Team USA hype surrounding Durant. Our obsessions with those teams probably led us to forget how good the Spurs have been and still are.
3) The Spurs want badly to beat the Lakers. The Lakers eliminated the Spurs from the 2001, 2002, 2004, and 2008 playoffs. That's four years out of a possible seven! The Spurs did get some revenge in 2003 when they defeated the Lakers in the Conference Semifinals en route to the Championship. There would be no better way than to take down the Lakers when everybody crowned them champs in the offseason and viewed the Spurs as an afterthought.
Or maybe the Spurs are just underappreciated and have been for the last decade? Yeah. I like that one the best.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Rudy Gay - The Most Interesting Man In The NBA



Remember back to the 2007-2008 NBA season. The Raptors were coming off their best regular season in franchise history. Chris Bosh was the face of the franchise and still relatively likable. Only one problem. Bosh was trailing Kevin Garnett massively in the All-Star vote. Garnett's stats weren't as good but he was playing his first year for the eventual NBA Champion Boston Celtics. The hype alone surrounding the Big 3 was enough to push Garnett into the starting lineup.
So Bosh dropped this video, which was then a pretty revolutionary marketing strategy. His votes skyrocketed but it was not enough to oust Garnett, or LeBron James for that matter, of a starting forward spot. Garnett ended up missing the game due to injury, and Bosh took his place in the starting lineup. The video worked (kind of), and Bosh earned his second consecutive All-Star start.
Memphis Grizzlies forward Rudy Gay recently put out a All-Star promotional video of his own, shown above. It parodies the Dos Equis commercials and is just as good if not better than Bosh's video two years ago. Only one problem. Gay, unlike Bosh two years earlier, doesn't deserve to be an All-Star. In fact, he's not even in the Top 10 vote-getters amongst forwards as of the last update on January 13th. It's not that he isn't a great player, but more due to the fact that he has names like Durant, Anthony, Gasol, Griffin, Duncan, and Nowitzki to compete with.
In that respect, it almost feels like a good video was wasted to fight a losing battle. Maybe next year. By then, Duncan and Nowitzki may be showing their age and Carmelo will be in the East. 

Monday, January 17, 2011

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

You have to love the NFL. Just when you think the league has been around long enough that nothing new can possibly happen...BOOM...the 2010 NFL Playoffs. To recap, we've seen:
1) The 7-9 Seahawks become the first team in NFL history to make the playoffs with a losing record. Not only that, but they knocked out the defending Super Bowl Champions in the first round.
2) Mark Sanchez tied the record for most career road playoff wins by a quarterback. You read that right. If Sanchez and the Jets win in Pittsburgh on Sunday, the 24 year-old will will have the most career road playoff victories in only the second year of his career.
3) Brady, Manning, and Brees (27 combined playoff wins) are all sitting at home, while Rodgers, Cutler, and Sanchez (7 combined playoff wins) are still playing.
4) More creative uses of the word "foot" than you ever expected. The sport in question is football, after all.
5) Last and most important, the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers will meet for only the second time in playoff history. The best rivalry in sports and they've met 182 times up until this point.

Who would have thought that in 2011, we'd see the most important game of the most important rivalry in the NFL. Sure, the 1941 meeting  was just as meaningful at the surface. That game served the same purpose that the NFC Championship will. But let's not forget two crucial points. First, there were ten NFL teams in 1941. It was hardly as much of an accomplishment to make it to the NFL Championship in 1941 than it is to make it to the Super Bowl in 2011. Second, the NFL in 1941 was robbed of plenty of potential talent. Black players, despite playing in the late 1920s and early 1930s were basically refused by owners in the 1940s, who agreed under the table to bar them from competition. The US was also just entering World War II and shipping over potential NFL players to Europe and the Pacific. Not to mention, professional football wasn't a lucrative job back then. Many former college football players were better off finding work elsewhere than continuing their football career.
So this is clearly the biggest game of the storied rivalry, but how did a Green Bay-Chicago playoff game of this magnitude not happen sooner? Let's break down the different phases of the NFL playoffs beginning in 1933.
1933-1966 - The NFL is split into two divisions. The teams with the best record in each division face off for the NFL Title. Imagine if we just let the Patriots and Falcons play in the Super Bowl this year. Thank God for expansion.
If two teams finished with the same record atop the division, then they played each other to see who would go to the NFL title game. This is exactly what happened in 1941. The Bears and Packers both finished with a 10-1 record and battled for the opportunity to take on the 8-3 New York Giants in the title game. The Bears won 33-14 and went on defeat the Giants 37-9 for the title.
It's amazing to think that such an improbable scenario led to the only playoff meeting of these two teams.
1967-1969 - The NFL splits into four divisions -- two in each conference. The two division winners in the same conference face each other. The two winners of these match ups play each other in the Super Bowl. The Bears and Packers are in the same division, and a tie atop the division was broken through a series of tie-brokers, not a game. This era would mark the only time in NFL playoff history when it was impossible for the Bears and Packers to meet in the playoffs.
1970-1978 - The AFL and NFL merge, leading to an expanded playoff format. The NFL is now composed of three divisions in each conference. The playoffs are composed of eight teams, the three division winners, and a wild card from each conference. The Bears and Packers never make the playoffs in the same year during this era.
1979-1989 - The NFL expands to a ten team playoff format. Still three division winners, but an extra wild card from each conference is added. The two wild card teams take part in what is basically a play-in game. The winner faces the number 1 seed, while the 2 and 3 seeds face each other. The Bears and Packers do not make the playoffs in the same year during this era either.
1990-2001 - The NFL expands to a 12 team playoff format. Still three division winners, but now three wild cards from each conference. The Bears and Packers now qualify for four of the potential six playoff spots, the best odds they'd ever had to meet in the playoffs up to this point, and best odds they've had since.
Not surprisingly they would both make the playoffs in the 1994-95 season, and the 2001-02 season. In 1994, both teams earned a wild card berth, Packers were the four seed and the Bears the six seed. They both won their opening round game and both lost their second round game, squashing a potential NFC Championship match-up.
In 2001, the Bears won the NFC Central and earned the two seed, while the Packers earned the four seed as the top wild card team. The Packers won their opening round game before falling to the number one seeded Rams in the divisional round. The Bears would lose to the Eagles, also in the divisional round, again preventing a possible Bears-Packers NFC Championship game.
2002-Present - The NFL realigns to four divisions per conference, with each division winner making the playoffs, as well as two wild card teams from each conference. Viola! The playoff format that we know today. This is the first year in this era that the Bears and Packers have made the playoffs the same year, and the 60 year anniversary of their first playoff match-up.

So that's how we got here. I'm not even going to attempt an explanation of what's about to ensue, keys to the game, who has an advantage where, or who is going to win. I don't know any of that and won't pretend to. I just have three thoughts.
1) It's fascinating to watch the Rodgers-Cutler contrast unfold. When Cutler was dealt to the Bears two years ago, onlookers gushed about a possible rivalry with him and Rodgers for the next ten years. Then Cutler had a poor 2009 season and it came to light that the two were actually good friends. The possibility of a good rivalry, or at least the kind that the media and fans wanted was pretty much dead.
Here we are in 2011 and each quarterback's public perception is beginning to take shape. Rodgers is the media darling for various reasons. He was commended for the way he's handled the Favre saga. He's played extremely well, to the point where Green Bay fans don't miss Favre even a little bit -- something I would have thought to be impossible three years ago.
Rodgers is also playing out of his mind. Every quarterback has their defining "I'm Here" moment. Rodgers has already played his way into the elite level of quarterbacks, he just needed the stage to show it to the world. What better way than to outshine Brady, Manning, and Brees in the playoffs (check) and lead his team to a Super Bowl victory (gulp). The stars seem to be aligning for Green Bay, and in two years or less, Aaron Rodgers will be regarded as the top quarterback in the NFL.
Then there's Jay Cutler. Rick Reilly wrote a not so flattering piece about him last week. There's nothing new here. Denver fans could have told you this five years ago, and Bears fans two years ago. It actually helped Reilly more than it hurt Cutler. No one under the age of 50 even knew Rick Reilly was still writing -- except for the people who noticed Reilly's miniature head on the ESPN.com front page while they were checking for Bill Simmons' column.
The point I'm trying to make is that Cutler's perceived douchiness could be just the element that this rivalry needs. Everybody loves Rodgers! He's the People's Champ. Just look at the way he shines his imaginary title belt after every touchdown.
Who likes Cutler? No one. Not even Bears fans. If NFL fans outside of Denver and Chicago were indifferent towards Cutler before, they sure won't be now that Cutler has the chance to win a Super Bowl. Look at the demeanor of the beloved Super Bowl winning quarterbacks Brady, Manning, and Brees. All are perceived as class acts, hard workers, great teammates, and leaders. In other words, their public perceptions are flawless. If he isn't included already, Rodgers fits the criteria for this club.
Cutler is the spoiled brat with bad body language. He'll curse out a referee or call out a teammate before he places the blame on himself, and his greatest contribution as a leader this year has been high-fiving his teammates after a successful PAT.
This rivalry has potential, even if they do like each other. Let us fans pretend.
2) Let me be the 11,765,093th person to comment on how improbable it is for the Bears and Packers to be in the NFC Championship game. The Packers have suffered a career-ending injury at seemingly every position this year -- including two Aaron Rodgers' concussions. I'm beginning to think Rodgers is just that good. It doesn't matter who you put out there with him -- he'll find a way to win.
Here's an underrated subplot of this year's Packers. I think most Packers fans assume that if this is what they're doing with a bunch of back-ups, imagine what next year will be like when everyone is healthy! This is the NFL and it usually doesn't work that way. I'm just going to pull up a seat and watch the slow burn of disappointment come next year.
The Bears have provided the blueprint for a roller coaster season. Very few people had high hopes for them at the start of the season. Then they pulled off three straight wins, two of them against the Packers and Cowboys, who were considered the two best teams in the NFC at the time. We started to believe, and then the Giants game brought us back to the team we were expecting to see this year. Add in losses to the Seahawks and Redskins and the season looked to be imploding before our eyes. Then a five game winning streak, including a win against the Eagles, the hottest team in the NFL at the time. It was that game that I think people started to believe (again).
The Bears are still underdogs as they've been all season. I like that. I like that the Packers have already been crowned Super Bowl champions. Nevermind that they have to play in Chicago against the only team (besides the possible Super Bowl foe New York Jets) who have shown the ability to stop their offense. A team has never and will never ride the wave of luck all the way to the Conference Championship game. These teams are more even than anyone is willing to acknowledge.
3) That being said, I'm admitting that this game makes me nervous. It's the most nervous I've ever been before a sporting event in my life. It's only Monday. You probably won't get a Packers or Bears fan to admit it, but the nervousness is resting somewhere in the back of their brain and will come out a little bit more each day. It's not that each fan base doesn't think they will win -- they just know there's always the possibility they won't.
I'm normally a proponent of "The bigger the game, the worse the loss," theory. For instance, some would say after losing the Super Bowl, "Well, at least we made it to the Super Bowl." Not me. Losing the Super Bowl is the worst kind of loss because you got so close. But not in this case. Losing to the Packers, knowing they could win the Super Bowl would hurt ten times more than losing the Super Bowl for the second time in five years. The thought will cross every Green Bay and Chicago fan between now and Sunday. Millions of people will be too ashamed to leave their house come 5:30 Sunday evening.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Punky Brewster Goes To A Cubs Game

Unfortunately, I wasn't alive in 1984 and thus didn't have the benefit of parking in front of the TV after Sunday afternoon football to watch the first season of Punky Brewster. Thanks to VH1, I know what Punky Brewster is. And thanks to my girlfriend's eight year old niece, who loves Punky and owns the Complete First Season on DVD, I discovered a gem from 1980s television.
In Episode 8 of Season 1, entitled "Take Me Out To The Ballgame," Punky and Henry buy scalped tickets to the 1984 NLCS at Wrigley Field. The footage is lifted from the Cubs' 13-0 victory in Game 1 against the Padres, including, among other moments, Rick Sutcliffe's home run.
A few things you'll notice about the clip:
1) It describes everything you need to know about an 80s sitcom in seven and a half minutes. Everything from the music, to the nuns, intimidating guy who doesn't look all that intimidating, to their eventual dugout seats really dates this one.
2) Cubs fans were a little less cynical in 1984. Look at the '39' signs (referring to the 39 year drought since the Cubs had last been to the World Series). Nowadays we count down from 1908, the last year we won a World Series, not the last time we lost one.
3) At the 6:40 mark, you'll notice the Padres footage is taken from San Diego's Jack Murphy Stadium and the Padres look to be facing the Dodgers. How does this happen? Did they seriously think the contrast between the padded blue and brick back stop would be easy to gloss over? They probably would have been better off cutting that part out and losing an entire one second from the run time.



I felt kind of bad though. I let it slip that Punky Brewster is actually a grown woman with two children, not the spunky seven year old and possible friend that my girlfriend's eight year-old niece thought she was. To be fair, the same thing happened to me in 1995, when eight year old me found out my potential girlfriend, Shirley Temple, was really 67 years old and had been married twice.
Watching this episode also led me to another unintended consequence: I finally looked up the game logs from the 1984 NLCS. The Cubs outscored the Padres 17-2 en route to wins in Games 1 and 2 (of a five game series, mind you). Then went on to lose their next two by a combined score of 14-6. With Sutcliffe back on the mound for Game 5, the Cubs took a 3-0 lead to the sixth before giving up 6 runs in the 6th and 7th to lose 6-3. Thanks for the reminder, Punky.

Monday, January 10, 2011

The Heatles Photoshops

"We call ourselves the Heatles," LeBron James said after a 96-82 win in Charlotte, the seventh in Miami's current run of nine straight victories. James was referring to the Heat's ability to sell out "99.1 percent" of their road games, and probably was speaking to the larger than life image that both the media and themselves have worked so hard to try and create.
It's 2011, and you know what the means. Any comment, figure, or situation that is even mildly amusing gets its own wave of photoshops. "The Heatles" are no exception.





These two photoshops, referencing The Beatles' second album, 1964's Meet the Beatles! may look familiar (scroll all the way up). Just thought I would point that out, to prove I do come up with a good idea from time to time. Ignore the fact that these two examples are clearly superior to my own. You'd probably like me a little less if the layout was the highlight of this blog -- which it very well may be.
The only gripe I have is with Juwan Howard's inclusion. Was he the only one with a photoshop-friendly pose? Wouldn't Big Z, or even Eddie House have made a better Ringo?
That's the beauty of the Heat -- three important pieces, and the rest of the parts are interchangeable. Maybe LeBron's Beatles comparison wasn't so far off.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Road To Atlanta

The road to Super Bowl XLV will go through Atlanta. Thanks to the Falcons' 31-10 drubbing of the Carolina Panthers last Sunday, Atlanta clinched the number one overall seed in the NFC for the first time since the 1980-81 season. In honor of the Falcons' 30 year anniversary of first clinching home field advantage, I decided to take my own trip down to Georgia, to see what the road to Atlanta is really like.
I'm of course lying, as I wouldn't be celebrating that anniversary under any circumstances, and don't have the money to take a bus trip for the fun of it. My girlfriend and I had planned on visiting her family in Georgia for some time now and it was purely coincidental that the Falcons had clinched the top seed the weekend before. It's a good thing the Bears clinched a first round bye as well. I spent the last playoff trips watching them in Wisconsin, and was not about to spend this year watching them in Georgia.
Anyway, smooth sailing up until our first stop in Indianapolis at about 3:30 in the morning (we left Chicago at 11:00 PM, and lost an hour when we arrived in Indiana).
Little known fact about Indianapolis: the city is composed entirely of Lucas Oil Stadium. There's seriously nothing else there besides a couple bars and a rubber stamp factory. I was hoping to spot Marvin Harrison incognito sipping from a brown paper bag on a park bench somewhere -- but no such luck.
I slept the next few hours and luckily woke up as we approached Louisville. Louisville may be the most slept on American city, especially during the night. The downtown area sits right on the Ohio River and is lit up at night and I must say, looks spectacular.
I also spotted the KFC Yum! Center, which excited me greatly to see in person. Just a few days before I was watching the always entertaining college basketball rivalry, Kentucky versus Louisville. Louisville was the home team playing at the KFC Yum! Center, a venue I hadn't heard of because it just opened this year. Not only did the name throw me off, but Louisville's student section spent the better part of the first half with KFC buckets on their heads banging at the sides of them. I was convinced I'd been zapped into some alternate reality hell-bent on emphasizing every Southern stereotype that's existed since the mid-1800s. That student section was real, and the stadium was too, as I'd now found out.
If Louisville was the high point of the trip, then what shortly followed was most definitely the low point. We'd stopped in Louisville, got out and stretched for a few minutes and immediately took our seats back on the bus. Bad decision that didn't seem so bad at the time.
Turns out that a drunk guy who'd been making his rounds around the bus since Chicago and making semi-coherent comments under his breath decided to sit behind us. I'd recently layed my bag containing the laptop I'm typing on, my iPod, and a couple books and DVDs under my seat. Bad decision that didn't seem so bad at the time.
My girlfriend and I were merrily munching on some Cheez-It Snack Mix when I heard what sounded like someone throwing a bucket of water to the ground. I looked at my girlfriend. She looked back. I grabbed another handful of Cheez-It Snack Mix.
I heard the sound again and put two and two together. The guy behind us was vomiting -- right on the floor. I reached for the bag first, inspected it and managed so save it from damage. My girlfriend kicked her legs up to the fetal position and remained that way for quite some time.
Even though she was directly in the line of fire, I had no sympathy. She wanted the window seat. One thing that any guy in a relationship knows is that under no circumstances whatsoever will you be riding in the window seat for a prolonged trip. Well, sometimes situations like this one arise, and that window seat with the great view isn't all it's cracked up to be.
I went out to notify our bus driver of the accident. He was a towering presence. Probably 6'2 to 6'4, 250 pounds or so. He had an outline of Tommie Smith and John Carlos raising their fists on the 1968 Olympic podium tattooed on his inner arm.
"Excuse me Tommie," I said. "A man is throwing up on the bus."
"My bus?"
"Yes."
"Ah hell no."
We made our way out to the bus and I realized I'd just called him Tommie. I'm sure he didn't appreciate that. The guilty party had just stepped off the bus with a Styrofoam cup in his hand. He'd apparently tried to throw up in that and failed miserably. The bus driver knew immediately he was the guy.
"Hey Chief, what happened? Too much to drink?"
"Me? Nope. Just ate something funny."
You should have seen my face.
The bus driver summoned one of the station workers. He looked young, carried a mop, wore some cheap glasses, and was not thrilled about his job. Evidently, he was not accustomed to cleaning up vomit at six in the morning.
"They don't pay me enough for this shit," he said. He didn't have to tell me twice.
After the young station worker mopped the floor, the bus driver sprayed some Lysol and we were off shortly thereafter.
Next stop was Nashville. I also spent much of this time sleeping. I did manage to finish Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut during this leg of the trip. I wouldn't recommend anyone read a book about time travel while traveling on a trip you're sure to lose track of time on.
When we reached the Nashville bus station I encountered three Redskins fans. This was the most depressed three-some I'd ever seen, and "depressed" and "three-some" don't often find themselves in the same sentence. They were from Richmond, Virginia and took great pride in the franchise. It's amazing how a bad season can take the life out of some people, or at least compound the stress they're already living with.
We made three more stops in Tennessee, the most notable of which was a city called Manchester, population under 10 thousand. I was fully prepared to make fun of Manchester until I just saw they host the Bonnaroo Music Festival every year. This was their 2010 lineup. I stand corrected on the merits of Manchester, Tennessee.
"We only have one person getting off in Manchester, so we'll only be here for five minutes," the driver said. "If you steal from the store or buy alcohol, you will become a resident of Manchester, Tennessee."
Everyone laughed.
Two people weren't laughing six minutes later. The bus driver began to take off and a lone voice in the back shouted, "We still got two people in the store."
"They will now be residents of Manchester, Tennessee," the bus driver responded.
If it wasn't for a particularly difficult left turn, that required the driver to wait until a few cars passed, the two stragglers would have been stranded in Manchester, Tennessee, six months until Bonnaroo.
"Y'all owe we the name of your first born child," the lone voice said to the couple as they got back on.
I've now been in Marietta, fifteen miles outside of Atlanta, for two and a half days and have seen one article of Falcons clothing. I've also seen one article of Bulls clothing. This is why I couldn't live in a transplant town. No collective sports identity, excitement, or do-or-die attitude come playoff time. This is the city the NFC Championship will go through.
All this drama and the playoffs haven't even started yet. Much like our bus trip, we have no idea what we're in store for in a conference that is wide open.