Both players had similar stats a week ago when the trade was proposed.
Morales broke his leg while celebrating a walk-off grand slam to beat the Mariners in 10 innings. Realizing Morales would likely be out for the season, Jensen proposed the trade the next day after hearing the news. Unaware of Morales's injury, Hagard accepted.
"That was a real dick move," Hagard said. "I trusted he would put our friendship above a highly competitive fantasy league with a $500 grand prize."
"All in all I'm happy with the trade," Jensen gloated. "I got the outfield depth I really needed, and Phil got a guy he can stash on the bench for a while, that hopefully will be back for the last month of the season."
Hagard first tried contacting the league manager to veto the trade, but his request was refused. He has now taken it into his own hands to try and get revenge.
"I did a few things that other league members found quite offensive," Hagard explained. "But I don't regret them one bit."
Hagard first hacked into Jensen's facebook account and changed his status to "I <3 Cock," and again to "Washing Phil's Car."
Hagard also sent a message to all of his Facebook friends, claiming that he had been having an affair with Jensen's wife for the last year and a half. On principle alone, Jensen filed for divorce from his wife of 14 years without looking into the allegations.
To add insult to injury, Hagard also keyed Jensen's car, pissed in his flower garden, and lit a bag of dog shit on Jensen's front porch.
Mutual friend Roger Bink, currently sitting atop of their fantasy league, feels the two men need to grow up.
"Realistically, they're battling for anywhere between 8th and 10th place. They've ruined their lives over this. Let's talk about me. Vlad Guerrero, Carlos Gonzalez, and Jose Bautista: all sleeper picks of mine. Quality drafts like that are what deserve to be talked about."
No comments:
Post a Comment