NFLPA Declares Football "Not Gay"

After fielding complaints from various NFL players, the NFLPA has declared that players "need not feel insecure about their sexuality." After reviewing an extensive amount of football situations that could be labelled as "homosexual friendly," the NFLPA found no evidence that the label should stand.
"It was important for us to protect our players," said executive director DeMaurice Smith. "And they were extremely concerned about their image. Specifically being thought of as gay."
The main issue in question was whether the players were projecting a homosexual image by slapping each other on the ass after making a good play.
"I think under normal circumstances two chiseled, testosterone-filled, 250 pound men slapping each other on the ass would be considered gay," Smith said. "But in the heat of the moment it's understandable. Say for instance, they were to high five. That would definitely be gayer."
Another issue brought up at the meeting was the quarterback-center dynamic. Specifically, the quarterback reaching in between the center's legs to receive the snap.
Said an anonymous quarterback, "I have enough things running through my mind at the line of scrimmage. I'm worrying about reading the defense, possibly calling an audible. The last thing I need to worry about is if I'm grabbing the wrong ball."
NFLPA president Kevin Mawae, a center himself said, "This was an issue that we spent quite a bit of time discussing. But quite frankly, we feel the increased use of the shotgun formation protects the quarterback and center from potentially gay situations."
The NFLPA plans to conduct studies on the possible psychological effects of players on teams who sport "significantly gay" colors. The main teams in question would be the Minnesota Vikings and Green Bay Packers.
"All in all we have nothing to worry about," Smith reiterated. "I mean, look at soccer. Now that's a gay sport. A bunch of guys running around a field and the minute another player so much as touches another player a foul is called. How straight could a sport be if a grown man isn't allowed to chase, wrap up and bring another grown man to the ground."

Excuse My Cynicism

I'm not Jack Buck, but "I don't believe what I just saw!" Did the Cubs just win one of their first two games of a series? Tuesday's 3-1 win breaks a three series streak of dropping the first two games of a series and winning the third. The cynic in me says that the Cubs are just mixing it up, and will find a way to drop two out of three, just in a different order.
Here's why I don't feel good about this win: it wasn't a good win. Let me expand upon that generalization. Alfonso Soriano accounted for two of the Cubs three runs, with solo home runs in the 4th and 6th inning. Koyie Hill scored on a Starlin Castro sacrifice fly in the 2nd. In other words, without the long ball, the Cubs don't win today. And we all know the home run has been hard to come by this year.
Besides Soriano's performance, the Cubs hitting was pretty much the same. They went 0-5 with runners in scoring position. Five different hitters tried their luck and failed.
The Cubs had eight hits on the night, two from Soriano, and two from Koyie Hill. The two hits from Hill are an aberration if I've ever seen one, leaving the Cubs with four hits amongst the other six position players.
This is a Pirates team that is last in the league in WHIP (walks and hits per inning pitched), meaning two guys should not have to account for your entire lineup's production. I know that before Tuesday's win the Cubs were 2-8 against the Pirates. That does not mean that any win is a good win. The Pirates were 24 games under .500 going into this game, last in the NL Central, and the worst hitting and pitching team in baseball. Hits and runs should not be hard to come by against them.
The one positive Cubs fans can take out of this game was Ted Lilly's performance. Lilly has done a nice job bouncing back from his eight run disaster against the Angels. Lilly pitched seven quality innings, surrendering only one run and six hits. His only blemish was a 3-2 outside fastball in the 5th inning that Ryan Doumit sent to the left field bleachers. With the win, Lilly improved his record to 3-6.
I'll be watching the rubber match cynical as ever.

Cristiano Ronaldo Trips and Falls in Madrid Airport, Isn't Helped Up

Just days after returning from South Africa after a disappointing World Cup stint with Portugal, Cristiano Ronaldo tripped and fell while making his way up an escalator in Spain's Madrid-Barajas Airport. The fall reportedly came after Ronaldo tried to squeeze his way between two pedestrians to make it off the escalator quickly.
Said an anonymous onlooker, "[Ronaldo] was clearly in a hurry getting to where he needed to go. He made a quick cut in between two people, and suddenly fell to the tile floor, holding his ankle."
Added the source, "It didn't look like there was much contact, but he was yelling out in pain alright."
A good samaritan noticed the fall and attempted to help Ronaldo up. However, the man was temporarily blinded by the light that reflected off of Ronaldo's diamond earrings. In a bit of confusion, the man tripped over Ronaldo himself and rolled around the floor, clutching the side of his head.
Numerous onlookers witnessed the incident but refused to help Ronaldo up. When asked why, one man responded, "He clearly took a dive there. If we had replay available, you would have seen very minimal contact between Ronaldo and the other two. Look at him, he's holding his left ankle, and it was clearly his right ankle that would have been the one that was struck."
A young woman who was reading a newspaper while the fall occurred had this to say, " I think we're treating Ronaldo way too unfairly here without knowing all the facts. All we know is that he's on the ground. We don't know if it was a dive or not. And he's so cute, with such perfect hair and a beautiful smile. I hear he's dating Kim Kardashian."
When asked for comment, Ronaldo did not respond because he was busy fixing his already gelled hair that became temporarily out of place after the fall. After noticing the cameras gathering around him, Ronaldo got to his feet pretty easily and smiled.
When asked why Portugal had such a tough time against Spain in their round of 16 match up, Ronaldo suggested he didn't have the answer.
"You'll have to ask the coach about that. All I know is I looked good out there. My socks were pulled up at equal length, my number 7 jersey fit just right, and my hair remained intact, despite the nuisance of having to head the ball once in a while. I normally avoid that at all costs."

My Favorite Sports Hair Part 4 (Alexi Lalas)

When judging best hair, it's important not to become distracted by other factors, such as facial hair. This is quite hard in Alexi Lalas's case because, how can you not be distracted by bright red beard primed to poke your eye out?
In fact, I will go on the record as saying that Lalas is one of the most recognizable athletes of my generation. The so called "return" of American soccer in 1994 led to feature stories and pictorials all across various sports magazines. That mop of red hair and scraggly beard looked more fitting next to a garbage can, on the streets of California, than it did on a soccer field. Even though us kids probably never saw him play or had any idea how good he was, it was his face we associated with American soccer.
I knew nothing about soccer growing up and wasn't too interested to delve further into the sport. But I remembered Lalas because of that hair. So in a way, Lalas's hair was good for the sport. At that age it kept my attention better than a 90 minute soccer match could. I remember it like it was yesterday, Sports Illustrated for Kids used to run a page of cheap sports cards that you could tear off. I had a card of Alexi, which has disappeared with time.
Thankfully, sixteen years later I have been reacquainted with Lalas in the form of his ESPN and ABC commentary during the World Cup. After the disappointing US loss to Ghana, I can safely say that Lalas's commentary has been the highlight of the World Cup. I'm aware that he has been criticized for his lack of tactical analysis, but that's not what I'm watching for.
For a casual soccer fan in America, Lalas is a tailor made announcer. He doesn't even try to cover up his bias towards America. He's funny, arrogant, and has very little chemistry (which I have to believe is intentional) with the other analysts.
Lalas and Steve McManaman provided some of the best back in forth I've ever seen after the US and England finished their second games. McManaman just got done explaining what he believed was wrong with England. Lalas's deadpan response, "How about this: they're just not very good."
Once he said it, you could see a rush of energy flow through him. Every possible chance he got, he voiced how little he thought of the English team. As I type this on Monday night, he has made at least one jab at the English every day, even after both the US and England had been eliminated.

But here's what I came here to talk about. I was reading an article about athletes turned musicians. At the end of the article, they ran another side article with a long list of athletes who have released an album. And who do I see? No other than Alexi Lalas, who sold a surprising 2,000 units in 1998, with his pop rock album, aptly titled Ginger.
I had to check this out. So I headed over to Amazon and saw that it was going for one cent plus shipping for a used copy and $1.27 new. I had a decision to make. Do I pay the three dollars for this used album or download it? I'm ashamed to say I downloaded, but you can't really blame me. Despite my new found adoration for the man's commentary, I couldn't muster up the courage to spend three dollars on a CD I figured I'd Frisbee out the window after one listen.
Let me say this, in all seriousness, the album is good. I repeat, if you're into nineties pop this is a good album. Play this for a fan of the genre and they wouldn't be able to tell it's by a soccer player. Lalas displays some good guitar work and vocals, which sound nothing like he does on ESPN. There's a few good hooks on this album that I've found myself repeating, just as any good pop album will do to you.
As of now, my favorite is the album's closer "Half A Chance", a legitimately well written song. Other gems are "Gemini," (no pun intended), "This Should Be," and the surprisingly good acoustic number "Vacancy." I'd link up these songs, but apparently no one else shares the enthusiasm for this album that I do. At least not enough to post the songs on YouTube.
So if you're bored, take a fly on this album. If you're into the genre and keep an open mind, it's not bad at all. The same cannot be said of England's World Cup performance.  

Who is to Blame?

What would you do with 91.5 million dollars? Buy a mansion? A yacht? A couple new cars? Or you could just buy all of that and have 80 million left over.
Would you sign a MLB pitcher to a five year contract? No. Ok, that's understandable. What if he was 26? And already a two time All-Star. With a career record of 78-51 while still approaching the prime of his career. Plus he was the best hitting pitcher in baseball, an added bonus for a run starved NL squad.
Did I mention this pitcher may be prone to mental lapses? One missed call, bad pitch, or defensive gaff could potentially ruin six innings of well-pitched baseball.
Those were all the factors the Cubs took into consideration when signing Carlos Zambrano to a five year 91.5 million dollar deal at the end of the 2007 season. Should Zambrano finish first or second in the Cy Young voting, or in the top four in 2012, he would be eligible for a sixth year worth 19.25 million. You did the math right, that would come out to 110.65 million in six years. Good thing that's not happening. Zambrano has never finished higher than fifth in Cy Young voting, and would need to actually be on the roster in order to pitch.
On Tuesday, the Cubs placed Zambrano on the restricted list, which basically means he's still on the team but not the roster. It's a way of allowing the Cubs to expand their roster back to the normal 25 men.
So let's all bash Zambrano, then we can bash Hendry for making the deal happen. But here's the sad thing. The signing wasn't ridiculous at the time, and Zambrano would have actually gotten more money if he chose to bolt for another club. It's turned out to be a bad signing, along wit the Soriano contract, and Hendry got lucky with the Bradley for Silva trade.
But at what point does personal accountability factor in? Yeah, Hendry knew what he was getting into when signing Zambrano. Look back at any of the articles detailing Zambrano's contract and his name is always preceded by feisty, fiery, temperamental, emotional, or a number of other similar adjectives. And how exactly is it Hendry's responsibility to curtail Zambrano's emotional outbursts?
You would think a man who is getting paid 90 million dollars to play a game would have the decency to respect his teammates, manager, and organization. You would think he would have the decency not to question the defensive effort of a three time Gold Glove winner who in fact, approached the Juan Pierre liner with just as much effort as he's displayed over the course of his career.
Maybe I'm missing something, but since when is a player a nut case that does not have the ability to control his emotions? You hear this all the time about Zambrano, Milton Bradley, and the same is being said about the Nationals's most recent number one pick Bryce Harper. It's as if a bad attitude is inherently with them and can't be corrected.
Bad attitudes should not simply be an accepted trait of a professional athlete. Rather than blame the GM for signing a guy with a perceived attitude problem, blame the athlete for not being able to conduct themselves in a professional manner. I must bet getting old, but it's becoming harder and harder to defend the ridiculous behavior of Zambrano and others like him.

6/26: Worst Day Ever

Slick Rick once said, "It's like a day, where nothing seems to go your way." His quote was in the context of a failing relationship, but for those of us not in a relationship, or who take sports a little too seriously, the line still applies.
Any sports fan can tell you that there's nothing better than having two big games in one day. Especially if these two games don't overlap each other. Such was the case on Saturday when the US and Ghana capped off the round of 16 at 1:30 CT, followed by game 2 of the Cubs and Sox at 6:05 CT.
To keep things in proper perspective sequentially, let's start with the US game. I can't lie, I have a March Madness like bracket of the round of 16 for the World Cup. I penned in each team after they advanced and looked at the thing for what amounted to over an hour. I couldn't get my eyes of off the US road to the Semifinals. It looked so good, I could already envision myself smiling, slowly but surely writing U-S-A into the next two thin white boxes.
Maybe I got ahead of myself, considering the US national team has exactly zero appearances in the World Cup semifinals. If they were going to do it, this was the bracket to do it in.
The US got outworked, out hustled, and were just plain slower than Ghana. Speed is usually an advantage for our strikers, and we didn't have it. We missed at least three easy opportunities that more experienced players would have converted. The officiating was terrible. The amount of yellow cards issued to us in the first half was ridiculous, coupled with the lack of foul calls in our favor.
It was a frustrating game all around. The US gave up their customary goal before the 15 minute mark, and to prove that wasn't a fluke, allowed another one in the first few minutes of the first overtime. Tim Howard let in two stoppable goals, especially the first one in the 6th minute. At the end of the game, rather than compete, Ghana fell to the field and rested for a few minutes while they let time go by. It's frustrating to watch all that, knowing the World Cup experience is over and won't be coming back for another four years.

Expecting the Cubs to win was a little irresponsible on my part. For the third series in a row they will drop their first two games and win the third. That first game should have been the tip off. But no, it wasn't. The season had been so utterly hopeless that splitting the season series with the White Sox, not winning but splitting, was the only thing left I could look forward to.
It took a half inning to know there was no way the Cubs were winning this series. Four runs and a Carlos Zambrano tirade (more on that in a future post) with all of Chicago watching, was all it took to showcase how this team has unravelled. 
I'm not even ashamed to say it. I turned the game off after the top of the 1st. I reluctantly listened to some of it on the radio. I hung out with some friends and was able to keep myself busy enough to miss the first 7 innings of the second game of the series, only to watch the Cubs blow it in the bottom of the 8th. "At least they'll win Game 3," I said after the loss.
On second thought, any sports fan can tell you that there's nothing [Edit] worse than having two big games in one day.  

NBA Draft Night Observations

You gotta love the NBA Draft. It's over in under three and half hours, you've actually heard of all the players and have seen many of them play. You can feel good about yourself after the first five picks because they were so obvious you picked them right. Also the blatant favoritism New Yorkers show to Adam Silver (Deputy Commissioner of the NBA, host of the second round) over David Stern (NBA Commissioner, host of the first round) is pretty hilarious. They boo Stern mercilessly, so much so that he's learned to pause in between announcements. NFL fans would never do Roger Goodell like that.
I was trying to come up with an analogy for the NBA draft and the best I could think of was a leaked album on the Internet. So you download the album when it leaks, two weeks before it's actually sold in stores. You listen to it so many times that by the time it's released you already know it by heart and don't feel the need to buy it. Think about it, thousands of mock drafts have been drawn up for the last few months now so you already have a pretty good idea what's going to happen, coupled with Ric Bucher reporting each trade 20 minutes before it goes through, and the excitement of each move is completely sapped.
Anyway, here's a few observations from last night's draft.
The first thing I notice when John Wall gets drafted: new hats. Firstly, each hat has a new logo to presumably make them look cooler. But more importantly, this is the first time that the NBA has switched over from those boring hats with the bent bill and the Velcro on the back that only 35 year old white men wear. I think Stern's head of the UFC (Urban Fashion Commission) whispered in his ear that the players don't look fly enough wearing those old hats. They need fitted hats with the flat bill.
They made a big deal about five Kentucky players being drafted in the first round, and I have to say, I was rooting for it to happen, for no reason other than it's never happened. But here's something that was even more impressive: the first fourteen picks of the draft were all in attendance. It wasn't until Milwaukee selected Larry Sanders at 15 that a draft pick wasn't in attendance. I'm sure they don't keep stats on this, but that has to be the longest streak of all time. Chalk this up to a few possible reasons:
1) Teams are drafting smarter. You're not seeing these reaches for European players in the top 10 like you used to. Teams realize that there's a good chance they won't be able to get out of their contracts for a few years anyway, so they're waiting to draft them in the second round. Point is, there's no surprise picks, so you don't have the number 10 projected player getting drafted in the 20s.
2) The NBA extended invitations to more players this year. Very possible, but if they were going to invite 15 or so, they might as well have invited 20 to include the players like Greivis Vasquez who had to sit in the stands, the equivalent of flying coach.
I also have to commend all of the players who showed up, especially the ones in the green room. If I was a potential first rounder, I'm scouring every single mock draft I can find, and if I'm not top 10 in every last one of them, there's no way I'm showing up. I wouldn't be waiting around like Brady Quinn, forcing myself to smile every time the camera is on me.
Before the draft, it's reported that the Bulls have agreed to trade Kirk Hinrich and the 17th pick to the Wizards for a future second round pick. Why not? Maybe they'd be interested in James Johnson too. The move will clear up another 10 million for the Bulls, putting them around 30 million under the cap. That kind of room allows them to pursue two max level free agents (Plan A: LeBron-Bosh, title contenders the next ten years. Plan B: Johnson-Boozer, EC Finals contenders for the next five years). The deal cannot be finalized until July 8th, when Washington will have the cap room to take on Hinrich's contract.
With the 17th pick the Bulls selected a 20-year old French forward named Kevin Seraphin. Apparently he's a few years away from competing in the NBA, long, athletic, with very raw basketball skills. Sounds a lot like Tyrus Thomas to me, this deal better go through.
Best fan of the night: The Grizzlies select SG Dominique Jones out of South Florida. A fan wearing a Grizzlies jersey turns to the camera, shrugs his shoulders, and says "I have no idea who that is." I appreciate the honesty, and definitely funnier than booing a player because you've never heard of him, New York style.

Worst fan: The guy in the Nets jersey who brought a vuvuzela. The vuvuzela is like an annoying girl who is really good looking. If she's an 8 on a 10 point scale I can deal with it, if she's a 6, then no. The World Cup is an 8 and the NBA Draft is a 6. Leave the vuvuzela at home.
Speaking of New York fans, they were chomping at the bit, waiting not-so-patiently for their 38th and 39th picks. With the 38th pick they take hometown hero, Andy Rautins out of Syracuse. The New York fans rejoice, marking the first time since Patrick Ewing in 1985 that Knicks fans didn't boo a pick. I think to myself, this has to be a pick to make the fans happy. Most likely they're trying to compensate for what will be a questionable 39th pick. The pick is SF Landry Fields out of Stanford. Just like I thought.
Probably the funniest moment of the night was Kentucky C Daniel Orton being drafted 29th overall by the Magic, and the events that ensued. Stuart Scott interviews Magic coach Stan Van Gundy and asks him why he made the pick. "First of all," Van Gundy starts, "I didn't make that pick." Translation: I didn't want to draft a 6'10 center who averaged 3 points and 3 rebounds per game, especially when we have the best center in the league and a backup center who we owe 6 million to next year. A player like Lazar Hayward would have been a better fit, especially since they're shopping Vince Carter.
To follow that up, they cut to the bloopers of Orton attempting to say, "Hello, I'm Daniel Orton, and you're watching the NBA Draft on ESPN." He messed the simple line up multiple times. So we have an end of the 1st round pick who the coach doesn't want, and then an embarrassing clip that Orton thought would be edited out. Not exactly a flattering start to his career. But good luck! Welcome to the NBA everyone.

Dueling Disappointment

A lot can change in four years. Think back to where you were, what you looked like, your life philosophy,etc. I for one, wore clothing two sizes too small, slept on a bed raised three feet below the ceiling, and had a poster of 2Pac, Snoop Dogg, and Suge Knight on my wall. Johan Santana was playing for the Twins, and Mark Prior was still playing. The Bears were in the Super Bowl and the Wisconsin Badgers were the number one team in college basketball for one week.
Seems like ages ago, right? That's because it was. Sometimes we forget that four years is a long time, especially when forecasting World Cup contenders. Four years ago couldn't have seemed farther away for Italy and France, the World Cup champion and runner up in 2006.
The elimination of both squads is not only surprising because of their FIFA world rankings (5th and 9th, respectively), but each team's past success. Italy has won four World Cups, including their 2006 match up with France. France won in 1998 as the host country, defeating Brazil.
Italy has earned the dubious distinction of being the biggest disappointment in the tournament, failing to advance in Group F, which figured to be the weakest group in the tournament. Group F featured New Zealand, the consensus worst team in the tournament, and and two middle of the pack teams in Paraguay and Slovakia. While FIFA World Rankings can and should be thrown out the window once the tournament starts, Italy had to feel pretty good about being the only team in their group ranked in the top 30.
Anything less than 7 points from the Italians would have been a disappointment, so perhaps the bar was set too high. They did have their fair share of nay-sayers, particularly concerned about their age. Age had nothing to do with their failures though. Their overall play was pitiful, especially against New Zealand, scoring only one goal despite outshooting them 7 shots on goal to 1 (23 to 3 overall), and controlling the ball for 57 percent of the match. Italy's failures do not solely rest on Buffon's injury. Aside from the last ten minutes of the Slovakia match, Italy struggled to muster quality offensive possessions.

France is the only team that can compare with Italy's disappointment, maybe even more so because of their complete collapse on and off the field. France was picked by almost everyone to be the top seed out of Group A, and expected to be a strong offensive team if their individual talent could come together. France looked completely lost on offense in their draw to Uruguay, continued that trend in their embarrassing loss to Mexico, and had given up by the time they were defeated by South Africa.
It can be said the only semblance of unity they showed the entire tournament was when they decided to go on strike. In a move that embarrassed them even more than their play, the entire French team went on strike for a day after striker Nicolas Anelka was sent home after a dispute with team manager Raymond Domenech. Anelka also reportedly got into a heated confrontation with the team's trainer during practice, leading to the trainer's resignation. These chances only come around every four years, and the French national team certainly picked the wrong time for a meltdown.
Come 2014, both teams are hoping a lot has changed.

Kings of the Hill

If you're into just looking at the results, there were no surprises in Group C, as the US and England both advanced to the knockout round with wins Wednesday. Sure, the results tell the ultimate story, but boy did you miss out.
How can you really describe how Landon Donovan scored America's only goal in the 91st minute? Goalie Tim Howard, tossed, no flung, no heaved, the farthest throw of a soccer ball I've seen in my life. And I thought it was hard for a shorstop to throw a runner out. This ball was thrown more than half the length of the field to a streaking Donovan.
The US had numbers, as Algeria was on the attack and not set on defense yet. Donovan cut through the middle of the field and dropped off a pass to Jozy Altidore coming from his right. Altidore beat his defender and snuck a pass to a charging Clint Demspey, who stuck the ball off the goalie. With the goalie and last defender lying on the ground, Donavan easily put the ball in the net off the rebound.
That description doesn't do the goal justice. Not even close. England had just secured a 1-0 win over Slovenia, meaning the US would have to win in order to advance. The US couldn't capitalize off of a slew of good scoring chances, and in a deja vu moment, had another questionable offsides call against them that took away a Dempsey goal in the 23rd minute.
It wasn't looking good, to say the least. Bob Bradley opted for another striker when he substituted DaMarcus Beasley for defender Jonathan Bornstein in the 81st minute. It was about that time when I thought this game would end in a tie. My brother turned to me and said, "I didn't even know Beasley was still on the team."
We were both so frustrated about the US inability to score that we complained about Algeria's offensive strategy. "Those bastards are playing for the tie."
"They do know this is a must-win game for them too?"
And then the goal happened. One of the more improbable moments I've witnessed in sports. Some have called it the greatest goal in US history. I don't know about that, but it sure means a lot to me.
With the US win, they earned the top seed out of Group C. The US and England both finished with 5 points, but the US owned the tiebreaker because they outscored the English by 2 goals in group play. The US will now face Ghana in the next round on Saturday. This should be an interesting match up, mainly to see which team will be the aggressor. Ghana sat back and defended a strong German team and could possibly do the same against an offensive minded US squad. The US also may be best served to clamp down defensively early on so they don't find themselves playing from behind. Something will have to give...
I don't want to jinx anything, but (on paper) the US will have the easiest road to the semifinals. With a win against Ghana, the US would face the winner of Uruguay or South Korea. Compare that to the other bracket which already includes Germany, England, and Argentina. Another bracket will house Brazil and the Netherlands, and the other Spain and Portugal (of course, barring unforeseen results). I like the US chances much better in their bracket than any of the others. Keep your fingers crossed.

Now or Never For US Soccer

Heading into their third game of group play and yet to record a victory, the US is in about as good a position as they could hope to be in for their game against Algeria tomorrow morning. It's simple, if the US wins, they advance to the next round. The ability to control their own destiny is about as much as they could ask for at this point.
Here's the other possible situations in which the US could advance:
US and Algeria draw, Slovenia defeats England. Not a far fetched scenario, especially considering how poorly England as played thus far. However, I wouldn't count on England to lose. They've already played about as bad as they're capable of playing and have still tied both games. If they do lose though, Slovenia will come out of the group with 7 points and the number one seed, and the US will be the two seed with 5 points.
US and Algeria draw, Slovenia and England draw. If both the US and England end up drawing, they'll each finish with 3 points, but the US will advance if England does not outscore them by two goals. Currently the US has scored 3 goals, and England 1. A draw is very possible in both games. The US put themselves in an advantageous position by scoring two goals against Slovenia.
On the flip side, if the US loses to Algeria they will be eliminated. This would be crushing for a team that was expected to make it to the round of 16. This has to be treated as a must win game. There would be nothing worse than drawing Algeria and finding out the English won, putting themselves and Slovenia into the next round. Of course, had the referee gotten the call right and awarded the US their third goal of the Slovenia match, and the win, they would be in a much better position now. But we can't dwell on that now, the US had no business giving up two goals in that game to begin with.
They key to the Algeria game will be the key to every US game from here on out: They have to eliminate the early goal. Playing from behind is a death sentence for the US, especially since a draw doesn't guarantee they advance. They have enough firepower to penetrate the solid Algeria defense, whether the US can maintain their defensive focus in the first fifteen minutes of the game remains to be seen.

Cubs vs. Angels (6/20)

On Sunday, I made it to my second Cubs game of the year, tenth overall at Wrigley Field. Their 12-1 win pushed my overall record to 8-2. Let me state once again, should the Cubs decide they want to be contenders every year, giving me season tickets should be a top priority.
Think again if you assumed I was being a good son and taking my dad to the game on Father's day. However, I have a good excuse, kind of. I bought the tickets months ago originally as a birthday gift for my brother. His birthday was about three weeks ago, but these were the closest weekend tickets I could get to his birthday because the Cardinals and White Sox were the previous weekend series.
We get to Wrigley and I ask my brother whether he wants to sit in left or right field. He doesn't really care, so I tell him we should go to left, Alfonso Soriano will spend half the game looking at you, you can wave to him in the middle of the third inning, and he'll likely wave back.
We got there a little later than the last game I went to, and by that I mean we arrived about a half hour before the gates opened (2 hours before the start of the game). We wanted to sit in the front row, so we made our way all the way down to the left field foul pole. It was a beautiful view as always, and better than sitting a few rows up, because your view isn't cut off when the ball is hit to the wall.
Our section was the last in the bleachers to fill up, and my brother seemed to take offense to that. Are they idiots? This view is amazing, what's wrong with them? The people next to us tell him that this is always the last section to fill up.
One of the more fun things we did while waiting for the game to start was discuss how we could get on TV. The most obvious way would be to make a sign. The two best signs we could come up with: "We ditched our dad to go to the Cubs game," and "Growing up, the Cubs were my father." Both would have been great signs, in my opinion, especially the second one. Although I'm not sure they'd show that second one on TV.
We both have World Cup fever, so we were thinking that if one of the Angles hit a home run to left or at least a double, we could raise our hands on our head, lean back and scream, like a soccer player after missing an easy chance.
Another moment that made me proud was my brother's reaction to about two rows of Red Sox fans who showed up in all Red Sox gear, and were sitting down the left field line. Like me, my brother assumes everyone from the Northeast is rich, and a douche bag. He complained that those rich douche bags were taking up good seats from the real fans. The dad of the group also spent the entire game on his cell phone, to which my brother replied, "I know he's an investment banker and has business to take care of, but he can give it a rest for a few hours." Couldn't have said it better myself.
As far as the game goes, there was really too much scoring to recount here. I remember that the game was over in the 3rd inning, once we scored our 8th run. My brother and I went back and forth before deciding on 6 runs being the line which Zambrano wouldn't be able to blow. Truth be told, there was never a doubt in my mind that the Cubs would win, even though they dropped the first two games to the Angels by a total of 13 runs. They've made a habit of losing the first two games of the series and then winning the third.

Up 4-0 after two innings, Geovany Soto leads off the third with a solo home run. I think, good thing my girlfriend is not watching this game, she'd be mad that I didn't take her to the game that her favorite player hits a homer. I contemplate whether I'll even tell her, and I decide I will. I routinely give her Geovany Soto upsets, and usually they're not very positive, so it would be wrong to not report when he has a good game.
Sitting on the train on our way back home, an entire family sits behind us, all of them drunk. The dad says how happy he is to see Soto play well because he's always loved him. "He's such a nice guy, too," the dad says. Ten minutes later he reiterates his statement, "Wasn't it nice to see Soto out there though? I'm so happy for that guy."
In the 7th innings I broke one of my cardinal rules: Do not take part in anything that will cause you to miss any of the game. In order to break this rule I had to break another cardinal rule: Do not consume more than two beverages at a game that does not have a halftime. Two beverages I'm ok, three and I need to take a piss and won't be able to hold it in because it's all I'll be thinking about.
So after the 6th ends, I head to the bathroom, hoping I won't miss too much. I've eternally thankful that they've decided to install urinals for reasons I don't care to go into. By the time i make it back to our seats, the bases are loaded with one out. My brother informs me that Zambrano gave up three singles and struck out one. Juan Rivera pinch hits for the pitcher and grounds into a double play. At least I didn't miss the important part.
I realized that sitting in the front row isn't all it's cracked up to be. The last game I was at, I noticed that the guy in the front row kept leaning back and hitting me in the knees. I chalked it up to the guy being a jackass and drinking too much. I was wrong. It's really difficult to not lean back when you're sitting in the front row. I think it has something to do with grabbing the railing or something like that. Either way, if someone in the front row continually leans back into you, give them a break.
As an added bonus, Lou brought in Andrew Cashner and Carlos Marmol for the 8th and 9th because they hadn't pitched in a while. Losing 12-0 in the previous game will do that to you. I believe I said it last time, but I'll say it again. Even from the bleachers, Marmol's slider caused my knees to bend. You truly have some incredible movement if you can notice it from 350 feet away.
It was a great Father's Day, for two sons at least.

Road To Redemption

Ron Artest will not be forgotten. Of course, for all the wrong reasons. He earned himself a dubious spot in NBA history after charging into the Detroit crowd, resulting in a year-long suspension. You may remember him also holding up a CD next to his face, promoting his girl group while being interviewed after the news of his suspension was released.
My personal favorite Ron Artest moment came just a few weeks ago when he convinced Craig Sager to say "Queensbridge." Convinced really isn't the right word. More like if I ask you five times in a 30 second clip, you're forced to comply.
I could be talking about a number of things after the Lakers won Game 7, clinching the franchise's 16th championship. They're now one behind the Celtics for the all-time lead. A short list of talking points:
Kobe wins ring number 5
Great defense, bad offense
Lakers 26 percent shooting in the first half
The absence of Kendrick Perkins
Andrew Bynum limited to 19 minutes
Rajon Rondo's stat line: 14 points, 10 assists, 8 rebounds
Kobe Bryant pulling down 15 boards
A Brian Scalabrine sighting!
Ron Artest's performance in Game 7 is far more interesting to me than any of those topics. Think back to July of last year when the Lakers decided to sign a 30 year-old headcase, better known for his off the court issues despite being an all-pro defender. The Lakers chose not resign Trevor Ariza, a player five years younger than Artest who showed flashed the ability of a quality player on both sides of the ball. Many people questioned that move, especially me.
The critics were out come playoff time, as Artest had a terrible regular season, posting close to career lows in points, rebounds, and assists. He also made some head-scratching decisions, most notably the three pointer he hoisted up at the end of Game 5 of the Western Conference Finals that almost cost the Lakers the game. Of course, he did end up winning that game for them.
Here we are in Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Greatest rivalry in basketball, and I think it's safe to say all eyes were not on Ron Artest. His performance in the 2nd quarter was quietly the key to the Lakers victory. Down 7 and looking particularly sluggish offensively at the end of the 1st quarter, the Lakers desperately needed a spark. They got it from Artest who accounted for 11 of the the team's 20 points, and came up with two big steals that changed the course the quarter would take. The Lakers would outscore the Celtics by three in the 2nd quarter to narrow the lead to four at the half.
Artest would top off his performance with a three that put the Lakers ahead by six late in the game. It proved to be biggest of a barrage of threes at the end of the game. Artest finished with 20 points and 5 steals.
In the post game interview the first person he thanked was his psychiatrist for helping him relax. While most probably laughed, there was something very touching about that to me. None of his know him and what's going through his head, probably not even his psychiatrist. But I appreciate someone who can be that open and honest during the emotional high-point of their career.
Queensbridge. Yeah, I said it. 

Derrek Lee is Back! Maybe...

You get the feeling that the Cubs have been blessed at this point to not be completely out of the division race. Going into Wednesday's game, the Cubs found themselves only 7 1/2 games back despite being 8 games under .500. One winning streak and the Cubs can get back in it. But winning streaks have been hard to come by this year.
Look no further than the number 3 and 4 spots in the order to find out why the Cubs have been struggling this year. Better yet, look to Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez, the two constants for the Cubs over the years. May I add, the only two Cubs I trusted in a big at bat prior to this year.
Lee has been a mainstay in the number 3 hole during his seven years with the club. Normally one of the brights spots, Lee has been atrocious this year. He has accounted for 217 of the 243 at-bats taken from this 3 hole this season. He's batted only .221 with 25 RBIs in that spot.
Not much better for Ramirez who has 94 at-bats in the 4 hole, batting just .170 with 15 RBIs. Marlon Byrd has spent quite a bit of time in the 4th spot during Ramirez's absence. He's matched Ramirez with 4 HR and 15 RBIs in the same spot, but is batting a whopping 186 points higher.
Ramirez is currently on the DL, rehabbing a thumb injury. Lee, a 3-time Gold Glove winner, is coming off the worst defensive game of his career. If things are falling apart for Lee defensively, it's not out of the question to lose all hope.
Maybe a bad defensive game coupled with a season-long struggle at the plate is what Lee needed to get going this season. He roped a solo home run near the left field foul pole his first at bat of the Cubs 6-2 win, and smoked a single to right in his second. Lee went 2-4 with an RBI and two runs scored on the night. In addition to his offense, he made a great defensive play at first, snagging a hard hit ball on a short bounce.
I know it's stating the obvious, but Lee needs to start putting together some quality at bats in order for the Cubs to win some games. His bad game yesterday may have humbled him the same way a stay on the DL could do to Ramirez. All will be forgiven if both players can come back and return to form in the second half of the season.
Wishful thinking, to say the least.

NBA Finals: 6 Down, 1 to Go

The biggest story of this game was obviously Kendrick Perkins's injury. He sprained his knee only seven minutes into the first quarter and never returned. With Perkins out, the Celtics have no one who can match up with Gasol defensively in the post. Doc Rivers trotted out KG, Shelden Williams, Glen Davis, and Rasheed Wallace, none of which had much success. Gasol had his way in the post, scoring 17 points and pulling down 13 rebounds, 5 of them offensive. Plain and simple, if Perkins can't play in Game 7, the Celtics will not win.
One surprising stat I just cooked up was that in the Celtics 3 wins, they have only outscored the Lakers bench by an average of 8.6 points. I would hav thought that number to be over 10, and most of that margin was made up in their Game 4 victory, when they outscored the Laker bench by 18. In Game 6, they were outscored 25-13 by the Laker bench. While it isn't essential for the Celtic bench to score big for them to win, they need to at least outscore the Laker bench.
How about Shannon Brown? Everytime I see him make a spectacular dunk I think that he won't be able to top it, but somehow every time he does. Nate Robinson is the only other player in the game I can think of that currently could challenge his vertical leap. One thing is for sure though, no one in the NBA is able to showcase their vertical during the game like Brown does. If Brown could develop a respectable jumper and handle the ball a little better, he could play 35 minutes a game for most teams.
In other news not related to the NBA Finals, Tom Izzo has rejected the Cavs offer and decided to stay with Michigan State. This news to me says LeBron isn't coming back without actually saying it. Izzo's salary gets doubled and he gets a chance to coach the best player in the game, and he turns that down? I realize the track record of successful college coaches jumping to the pros isn't good, but something tells me LeBron's status is what prevented him from taking this job.

So who wins Game 7? I'm taking the Lakers, not because of their dominant Game 6 performance, but because I had them all along. I think it will be a very close game actually, assuming Perkins can play and is 100 percent. If the Celtics want to win I think Rajon Rondo needs close to a triple double. He'll be close in rebounds and assists, it's the points that worry me. Allen, Pierce, and Garnett will get theirs, expect each to have 15 to 20 points. The question is, where can the Celtics make up 35 points? I don't trust their bench enough to produce in such a big game. Rondo needs 20 to 25 to ease the burden.

North Korea is the Key to Group G

The so called "Group of Death" just got a lot more interesting after the opening round games Tuesday night. The first game between Portugal and Ivory Coast figured to feature the two teams that would be competing to be the second team out of the group. It was a match that featured its fair share of flopping, and quite frankly, Ivory Coast outplayed the favorite Portugal. However, the game ended in a 0-0 tie, leaving each team with a point, and a bit of instability.
A win for either Portugal or Spain would have almost certainly guaranteed them advancement to the next round, but now the landscape of Group G has completely shifted to an unlikely team, North Korea.
Not much was known about North Korea coming into the World Cup, other than they were ranked 105th internationally, and figured to be manhandled in all three games.
North Korea played surprisingly good defense in the first half against Brazil, and even scored a goal towards the end of the game to lose 2-1. Let's not get ahead of ourselves though, the Brazilians appeared more sluggish than usual offensively, perhaps overlooking the North Koreans. The goal they gave up also looked like the Brazilian defense had basically packed it in for the night. Despite each team's showing, North Korea will still be the underdog for their next two matches, and Brazil will be the favorite.
So let's assume Brazil wins all three games as they should. This would mean Portugal or Ivory Coast's advancement is contingent upon how they play North Korea. Assuming they both win, goal differential would be used to determine who advances. Portugal gets the first shot on June 21st, and then Ivory Coast on June 25th, the last day of group play.
Just think, the most mysterious team of the entire tournament has the potential to indirectly make the biggest impact on it. Portugal and Ivory Coast can both go far in this tournament, but in order to do that they're going to have to bring their full offensive arsenal against a North Korea team that has proven themselves defensively. Imagine a scenario where Ivory Coast assumes they have to win by two or three goals in order to advance. Now that's a game worth checking out.
Go figure, the "Group of Death" will be decided by the team that was pronounced dead before play even began.

Q & A With Myself

Made up questions by made up people, all having to do with this year in fantasy baseball.

With his value at an all-time high, should I deal Ubaldo Jimenez? Even for a top of the line starter or hitter that has consistently been a top player? - Jay, N.C.
This is an intriguing question, and you're absolutely right, Jimenez's value is higher now than it will ever be. So should you trade him for say, a Tim Lincecum, or underperforming (by his standards) Albert Pujols? The answer is no. Breakout performances are not at all uncommon, especially for starting pitchers, and while they may last only a year (see Zack Greinke last year), they're worth hanging on to for that spectacular year. I would only recommend trading Jimenez if you could get two highly ranked players in return, especially if one plays a position you're weak in.
Is it worth it to own a set-up man, or any other relief pitcher who doesn't earn saves? - Desmond, Little Rock 
No. A good ERA, low WHIP and decent strikout numbers are not worth wasting a roster spot on a relief pitcher who won't help you in the saves category. My theory is that each pitcher needs to be able to help you in at least 3 pitching categories for them to be worthy of ownership. So for a starting pitcher, you'd hope they can help you with wins, strikeouts, WHIP, and ERA. Depending on which other pitchers you have, strikeouts may not be at a premium for lower-tier starting pitchers. Closers need to help in saves, WHIP, and ERA, but will rarely record wins, and don't pitch enough to provide much help with strikeout numbers. Remember, Rule of 3. And setup men only help with WHIP and ERA.
At what point in the season do I give up on a star player who isn't producing? - Erik, San Bernadino
Depends on the situation, but I would recommend never dropping a player you drafted in the first three rounds. They were ranked high for a reason, so while they may have gotten off to a slow start and won't end up with the yearly statistics that were expected of them, they can provide a much needed boost at the end of the year when they start to heat up. However, I would consider making an exception if a) said player's production has steadily been in decline the past couple of years or b) said player has a history of being injured and has been injured for the better part of the year.
How important are the late rounds of the draft? - Barry, Kalamazoo
The late rounds of the draft are what you make them. From personal experience, I normally end up dropping the last three or four players I draft anyway, so I would recommend taking a chance. Draft a longshot that has the potential to put up some big numbers. Drafting a proven mediocre player like J.D. Drew will get you nowhere, you'll end up dropping him anyway. Take some chances at the end of the draft, and if they don't work out, you can always drop them for the waiver wire. Every season there are at least five or six players who weren't drafted who end up being absolute fantasy studs.
What is your team's overall record? Are you even qualified to give fantasy baseball advice? - Cliff, New York
No comment.
  

Crosstown Classic Game 3

Saturday's Cubs 1-0 win was a pitching duel, but Ted Lilly and Gavin Floyd took the meaning of the phrase to a whole new level.
The big story was Ted Lilly's performance, as he took a no hitter into the 9th inning. Juan Pierre, pinch hitting for Floyd, led off the inning with a single. Lilly was taken out after giving up his first and only hit.
Lilly needed 108 pitches to secure the victory, his second highest pitch count of the season. The performance also marked a milestone for Lilly It was the farthest he'd ever taken a no-hitter into a game. His previous best was 7 1/3 inning while pitching for Toronto.
The win, however did not come easy. Carlos Marmol relieved Lilly in the ninth and walked Andruw Jones. With the rain coming down hard, Marmol seemed to lose his footing while delivering a pitch to Alexei Ramirez, and was called for a balk. After striking out Ramirez, Marmol intentionally walked Alex Rios to load the bases with one out.
Paul Konerko hit a soft groundball to Lee at first, who got the force out at home. Marmol then got Carlos Quentin to fly out to center to record his 13th save of the season.
White Sox starting pitcher Gavin Floyd wasn't bad himself, taking a no hitter 6 2/3 before giving up a double to Alfonso Soriano. Chad Tracy followed up with a single up the middle to score the Cubs only run. Floyd went 8 innings, giving up three hits and striking out nine.
With the win, the Cubs broke a three game losing streak. The win was also Lilly's first in his last three starts, despite pitching well in all three. Sunday's win was only Lilly's second win of the year, despite a 2.90 ERA.

My Favorite Sports Hair Part 3 (Diego Maradona)

In honor of the World Cup, today's selection goes to former Argentianian soccer great and current manager of the Argentina's national team. There's something to be said about a man standing on the sideline's who looks like he can have you whacked if you blow a few more scoring opportunities. Lionel Messi, I'm talking to you.
Maradona is probably the most interesting athletic figure most Americans have never heard of. He's one of the greatest soccer players of all time, some would say the greatest. He led the Argentinian national team to a 1986 World Cup victory. Along the way, he scored both goals in a dramatic 2-1 quarterfinal win over England. And get this, the names given to those goals are "The Hand of God," and "The Goal of the Century." I challenge you to not live an interesting life with accomplishments carrying those lofty titles.
Maradona is an avid supporter of Fidel Castro, and "hates everything that comes from the United States." He also has a tattoo of Che Guevara on his arm.

If that's not good enough, he was addicted to cocaine for the better part of ten years, and his weight ballooned because of it. By the year 2000 he bared a striking resemblance to Pablo Escobar. Since drug addiction and dying because of weight related issues wouldn't be dramatic enough, Maradona chose to get his stomach stapled in 2005 and managed to kick his cocaine addiction.
That brings us to the 2010 World Cup, where Maradona's sideline reactions and overall demeanor bring some much needed excitement to the game. Every ball that went out of bounds to his sideline he managed to grab, ready to throw in on his own terms. I'm fully convinced that he would sub himself in if he could.
Through it all, the cocaine, weight gain and loss, and political fervor, Maradona has managed to keep a perfect head of hair. Just as full and curly as ever, and now slicked back for emphasis. It's hard to imagine his issues over the years having no effect on that hair. His hairline isn't even receding for God's sake. Is there no stress in this man's life?
Let me know your secret Maradona, as long as that secret doesn't involve me spending 3-9 years in prison.

Give Soccer A Chance

You know how there's always that one food you think you hate? You hated it as a kid and possibly through your teenage years, and through some ill-fated turn of events you're confronted with this food again. You must consume this food or risk appearing like an ungrateful bastard.
My food was green beans and it was at my cousin's wedding that I felt compelled to eat them for the first time in about ten years. I always thought I hated green beans. I never liked them as a kid so I assumed that dislike would carry over. Wrong. Green beans are delicious. At my cousin's wedding it was either green beans or hunger. I chose green beans and I'm so glad I did because I had no idea what I was missing.
I know it's a bad analogy, but let me say this, Americans, when it comes to soccer, you don't know what you're missing. I know, games end in ties, even 0-0 ties. Three total goals is an offensive explosion. There's times when the ball is kicked back and forth for a minute or so. But trust me, just try it, you will find it delicious.
The beauty of World Cup soccer is the way the tournament is constructed. There's 8 groups, each consisting of 4 teams. Each team plays the other once, resulting in 3 games per team in the opening round. 3 points are rewarded for a victory, 1 for a tie, and 0 for a loss. The two teams with the most points in each group advance to the next round, resulting in a 16 team bracket exactly like the Sweet 16 in college basketball.
From there on it's win or go home, if the game is tied, they go up to two 15 minute overtimes before heading to a best of 5 penalty shootout. Just think of all the opportunities for drama. Not only can a strong team potentially be knocked out in the opening round if they blow just one game, but in single elimination anything can happen.
I was a typical American. I didn't like soccer because I liked football, basketball, and baseball. I didn't like soccer because I wasn't supposed to like soccer. Soccer was boring, there wasn't enough contact, and definitely not enough scoring.

Long story short, I gave soccer a try in 2002. It was about one or two in the morning, I was eating Doritos and drinking Pepsi like a normal 15 year old does at that time. I was searching for something to watch and nothing was on except the US versus South Korea. Luckily, I had tuned in just before they started and I watched the entire game, hooked. The US struck first, on a mohawk-sporting Clint Dempsey goal in the 24 minute. They held a 1-0 lead until the 78th minute when the hometown team tied it up. The game would end in a 1-1 tie and I didn't care. I was so enthralled with the action that the fact that there was no winner didn't matter to me.
After the game I began reading anything I could find about the World Cup and US national team in particular. Little did I know, the US team had already played a game and defeated Portugal, one of the favorites to win the entire thing in 2002. The US would go on to lose to Poland in their third game, but move on to the next round with a 1-1-1 record, good for 4 points. They then pulled off an improbable upset of Mexico before they were finally defeated by eventual runner-up Germany in the quarterfinals.
I cannot explain the excitement that came with rooting for South Korea to beat Portugal in their opening round matchup. Had Portugal won, the US would not have advanced to the next round. That's one of the great things about group play, and why I think ties make things more interesting. Because the US and South Korea game ended in a tie it opened up the possibility of either Portugal or the US advancing. Had Portugal beat South Korea they would have advanced, but because they didn't the US was able to lose to Poland and still advance, all because of the tie.
Saturday's US-England matchup was probably the most hyped US match ever, so if you didn't check it out, there's probably no convincing you. England scored their first and only goal in the 4th minute, looking like they were about to have their way. Then in the 40th minute, England goalie Robert Green let a routine ball by Clint Dempsey bounce off him and into the net. The game ended in a 1-1 tie, a victory for the US who most expected to lose.
Some things take getting used to. For me soccer was one of those things. Do yourself a favor and watch with an open mind. You'll be surprised at how entertaining soccer is.

Crosstown Classic Game 2

In stark contrast to yesterday's slugfest, Saturday's 2-1 Sox win was a pitching duel. Carlos Silva came up with the short end of the stick, taking his first loss of the season to move to 8-1. Going into Saturday's game, Silva was one of only three undefeated pitchers who made at least 12 starts.
Silva went 7 innings, giving up 2 ER and striking out six. Paul Konerko singled both Sox runs in.
Silva found himself in trouble in the first inning after giving up a one out single to Alexei Ramirez. Alex Rios followed with a single, and Konerko followed with another single to score Ramirez. After striking out Carlos Quentin, Silva hit A.J. Pierzynski to load the bases. He got out of the inning with a Gordon Beckham groundout.
Silva cruised through the next five innnings, but ran into trouble in the 7th by giving up a leadoff walk to Juan Pierre. Pierre then stole second by avoiding Castro's tag. After striking out Ramirez and getting Rios to groundout to third, it appeared that Silva would be able to get out of the inning. That wasn't the case, as Konerko was able to knock in his second run with a ball to right center that Xavier Nady couldn't get to.
Mark Buehrle threw 6 2/3 scoreless innings en route to his fourth win of the season. Buehrle got into a few jams during the course of the game, but always seemed to come up with a big strikeout to bail himself out. Buehrle struck out seven in the game.

The Cubs scored their lone run in the 9th off closer Bobby Jenks. Geovany Soto walked and advanced to second on a Kosuke Fukodome groundout. Ryan Theriot singled to right center to score Soto.
The Cubs had plenty of chances, but were 1-10 with RISP. Marlon Byrd was the Cubs lone bright spot offensively, going 3-4 with a double. Byrd extended his hit streak to nine games.
The Cubs will try to avoid the sweep Sunday night as Ted Lilly (1-5, 3.28 ERA) faces off against Gavin Floyd (2-6, 6.18 ERA).

Reality Show Proposal

Who says Nate Robinson doesn't have any value? I surely didn't when I suggested (in a satirical story, of course) that the Celtics consider promoting him to cheer captain. Turns out, Robinson is in fact a marketing genius. If you haven't seen his postgame quote here it is. In the clip, he likens himself and "Big Baby" Davis to Shrek and Donkey. Crazy thing is, Davis actually looks like Shrek, pre-photoshop.
If I know anything, it's that mediocre players who happen to play spectacular in must-win playoff games need to capitalize off of the opportunities that are sure to arise. Robinson already set the stage for a "Rob and Big" type reality show.
I can see it now. VH1 picks up the reality show and can call it "Nate and The Baby" or "Baby Nate," something like that. I'm assuming the title "Shrek and Donkey" would be copyright infringement. Point is, any title would be more creative than "The T.O. Show."
Cue the silly synth driven theme music, and start by showing Robinson's cut to the basket and teardrop shot. After he turns around screaming, they pause and flash across the screen "Nate" or "Nate the Great," whatever. Then cut to the shot of Davis slobbering to the title of "Big Baby." Then you get the two of them sitting in the studio explaining how they were once bench warmers to an overachieving playoff team. Then we got out chance....Cut to shot of Robinson in the interview saying, "We're like, we're like, Shrek and Donkey, it's crazy." And then they can show them slapping hands in slow motion.
The premise could involve them doing some "Fear Factor"-esque challenges in competition for playing time. Doc Rivers makes a special appearance, and the last episode can be the serious one where "Big Baby" opens up about how he really feels about KG.
When they're not competing in challenges, Robinson and Davis can live together in a rented mansion, where they throw huge parties with Michael Beasley while they're supposed to be training in the off season. Fellow NBA players show up and hilarity ensues when Davis and Pacers PG Earl Watson find themselves competing for the same woman.
Make this happen VH1. It's time to move on from unsigned wide receivers as reality stars. We want NBA players who play less than 20 minutes a game.

Crosstown Classic Game 1

Friday's series opener between the Cubs and Sox seemed to be less hyped than it has been in previous years. This is most likely due to the success of the Blackhawks, who haven't been competitive since interleague play took effect in 1997. Friday's lack of excitement certainly didn't have anything to do with the fact that the Cubs came in 6 games under .500 and the Sox 7 under. If anything, this series will surely provide the only thing worth bragging about for either team this season.
The Cubs and Sox didn't play each other six times a year until 1999. Since then, the Cubs have a 31-35 record against the White Sox. The Sox have won five season series, the Cubs two, and they have tied four times. Needless to say, as a Cubs fan, it's hard to expect much.
The two big differences in the Sox 10-5 win were starting pitching and extra base hits. White Sox starter Jake Peavy went 7 innings, giving up only six hits and 2 ER. He was especially effective against batters 1-4 in the order, holding them to a combined 2-11, 1 R, and 0 RBI.
The Cubs Randy Wells had a tougher time, he gave up ten hits through five innings and walked three, accounting for five earned runs. The bullpen didn't do much better, combining for another five earned runs, and six hits.
Warm weather and the wind blowing out provided the makings of a high scoring game. The Sox took advantage of the ideal conditions slugging four home runs and four doubles. The Cubs had one of each.
Many fans showed up wearing Blackhawks jerseys or 2010 Stanley Cup Champions T-Shirts. One can only imagine whether they were showing support for the Hawks or embarrased to be seen supporting their baseball team. But one thing's for sure, there will be a few more Cubs fans sporting their Hawks gear tomorrow.

Random Musings (Cubs, Tom Izzo, Hawks, USC)

Heading into this week's series, the Brewers were the only NL Central team the Cubs had any success against. Let's take a look at the Cubs record against the other four teams.
Reds (2-4), Pirates (2-6), Astros (2-4), Cardinals (1-2). Amidst that 7-16 travesty, the Cubs managed to handle the Brewers pretty easily, winning 5 of their first 6 against them.
To my amusement, I've taken to calling the Brewers the little brother of the Cubs. Every once in a while they bother you, but you know they're not a legitimate threat. They also try so hard and come off so pathetic that you can't help but love them. With this in mind, I was hoping we could at least take 2 of 3 and salvage what is left of our terrible division record. Despite a barrage of walks, the Cubs managed to take Game 3 to 10 innings, and preceded to lose there, on what is sure to be one of many Bob Howry blown games. I knew my intuition after the first game of the series wasn't failing me...

I think all Bulls fans should be slightly concerned about Tom Izzo's supposed "strong interest" in the Cleveland Cavaliers job. I couldn't imagine Izzo being interested in this job if LeBron isn't coming back. Izzo has a great thing going at Michigan State. He's the best coach in the Big Ten and top 5 in college basketball. He routinely recruits excellent players, both from Michigan and abroad, who fit into his system. Currently he makes 3 million a year, which will surely be chump change compared to whatever the Cavs offer him. I don't know, it just doesn't make sense that he would leave everything at Michigan State to coach a LeBronless (i like that word, that should be in the dictionary) team that would be around .500 competing for the 8th spot in the East every year.

Congratulations to the Blackhawks, who won their first Stanley Cup since 1961. Is it just me, or was that the most anticlimactic championship celebration of all-time? Everyone except Patrick Kane was looking like an off-color joke was just told. Do we laugh at that? Do we celebrate? A scenario like this could only happen in hockey. Hockey is by far the most difficult sport to determine if a goal has been scored or not. I'm not going to lie, I never know if the puck goes in the net, I just wait for the siren and the player's sticks to go up.
I also have to congratulate members of the Hawks who just fell asleep a few hours ago after an extensive night of partying. I'm not one to automatically praise a long night of drinking, as I've been there a few times. But when you can body can sustain a ten hour marathon of drinking after playing an extremely physical, emotion-filled hockey game, I give credit where credit is due.

USC's football program received a 2-year bowl ban, and has been stripped of 30 scholarships over three years after the NCAA determined Reggie Bush received improper benefits. USC also has to forfeit 14 victories during Bush's time there, and there's talk that his 2005 Heisman trophy may be stripped from him as well. Hasn't the man suffered enough?
I mean, Bush has recently upgraded his girlfriend to an equally attractive, younger, smarter, and less annoying version. He has a laundry list of sponsorships, most of which allow him to appear in commercials with his shirt off. He just won a Super Bowl masquerading as a feature back. Leave Bush alone and allow him to try and get his life back on track, I'm sure he's suffering a great deal from the NCAA's ruling.

Random Musings (Cubs, Strasburg, World Cup, Hawks)

I had one of those moments yesterday that I've been dreading since the beginning of the MLB season. It usually takes until at least July, sometimes late September if I'm lucky. The moment I'm of course referring to is when I realize that the Cubs just aren't very good and won't make the playoffs. I know, it's one of those it's-too-early-in-the-season-to-feel-this way type of feelings, but it hit me yesterday.
I was flipping between the Cubs-Brewers game and the NBA Finals. The game went to halftime sometime in the bottom of the 7th, and I was hoping the Cubs could pull it off before the start of the second half. Didn't happen, so I continued to flip, when all of a sudden, the video feed goes out on the Cubs game. This should have been my first warning: The baseball Gods did not want me to witness the end of this game.
Being stubborn, I continued to flip and made it back to the Cubs game, which was now just audio. Carlos Marmol came in with a 2-1 lead, and when I returned, men on second and third, 2 outs, Casey McGehee at the plate. Len Kasper says, "You get the feeling that with this pitch the Cubs are either going to win or lose this game." You can guess what happened.
My girlfriend was on my computer, and I walked into my room and threw my hat against the wall. This is the type of behavioral pattern consistent with a fan who has just eliminated his team from the playoffs in early June. Funny thing is, she didn't even flinch, and didn't have to ask, she knew by the trajectory of the hat what had just occurred.

Nationals fans are probably in a better mood today after Stephen Strasburg's debut. Strasburg's stat line: 7 IP, 4 H, 2 ER, 0 BB, 14 K. Oh, and the Nats won too, which looked to be in jeopardy for a while. My hat goes off to Strasburg, there's no doubt he has incredible stuff and is good for the sport because of the fans he puts in the seats. His Tuesday debut sold out, and he's already created a boom in ticket sales for his next start in Cleveland. I don't want to take anything away from him, but excuse me for being skeptical. Remember, I was there for Mark Prior's debut, which was pretty encouraging as well. Let's also put this in perspective and remind ourselves that the Pirates have a .236 team BA (30th), 183 RBI (30th), 455 H (29th), and average 3.2 runs per 9 innings, tied for worst in the NL. In other words, call me when he faces Philly.

The opening match in World Cup play kicks off Friday morning when South Africa faces Mexico. Here's my dilemma: Do I get up and watch this game, or do I get up and watch this game at a bar? I'm not sure that I should pass up the chance of being around a bunch of rowdy Mexican fans this early in the morning drinking Modelo and Corona. Here's the other thing, the bar I was thinking about going to has been promoting the hell out of the World Cup and has even started serving breakfast because of the early start times.

So let me ask you this: would you eat pancakes, or a breakfast burrito from a bar? I probably wouldn't, but add this thought to the equation. Would you eat pancakes or a breakfast burrito at a bar, while drinking your Mexican beer of choice at 8 in the morning, watching the opening game of the World Cup with people who take soccer a lot more seriously than you? That sounds like an ideal situation to me. I got next round!
The other great thing about this World Cup is that North Korea is in it? Really? North Korea has a soccer team? According to the US media, the only things in North Korea are Kim Jong-il, his collection of American movies, poverty, nuclear weapons, and a powerful army. Call me unpatriotic, but how amazing would it be if North Korea made it to the 2nd round? I know, not going to happen, but I would love to see how they'd be covered.

Last but not least, the only Chicago team worth talking about is set for Game 6 in Philly tonight. As I've stated before, I can't just jump on the bandwagon like that, but hopefully they can close out the series tonight. I would kind of feel obligated to buy a shirt commemorating the event, but surely would feel sleazy afterwards. The truth is, I've been treating the Blackhawks like that hot girl from high school (who wasn't hot at the time) that I chose not to date. I stuck with the Bulls instead, who've gotten fat, disinterested, and don't tell me they love me anymore. I could have had the Blackhawks, and now I feel jealous about all the attention they get, and how good they're looking nowadays. *Sends Facebook friend request* Hey Hawks! Remember me? Just wanted to congratulate you on all your success! Wanna grab a drink this weekend?

   

Pivotal Game 3

With the series tied at a game a piece, Game 3 was especially crucial for the Lakers, who will find themselves playing the next 3 games in Boston. I still don't like that they haven't changed the Finals 2-3-2 format. It doesn't make sense to me why they would change the preceding rounds to the 2-2-1-1-1 format and not the most important series. As we've seen in years past, the 2-3-2 format is an advantage for the underdog, who can get right back in the series with a 3 game sweep. Anyway, that's a topic for another day. Here's some things that stood out in Game 3.
1) Ray Allen's performance. Would you believe me if I said I expected this? Well not exactly, an 0-13 night, 0-8 from behind the arc, but a bad night. My criticism of Allen has always centered around his penchant for disappearing in games. He will have a huge game like he did in Game 2, and then come back with a less than stellar performance. He's not really all to blame, it also has a lot to do with the way the Celtics are constructed. When you have 4 guys who are big-time scorers, one or two are bound to be left out of the loop. Ray Allen was left out today, although he did have some pretty good looks that he just couldn't knock down.
2) Derek Fisher's big 4th quarter. Fisher's play down the stretch won this game for the Lakers. He scored 11 of his 17 in the 4th on 5-7 shooting. Kobe only shot 1-6 from the field in the 4th. It was Fisher's play that put the Lakers over the top. Every year I, and many others want to write him off, but he'll come up with a game like this. Fisher's contract expires after this year. He'll be 36 at the start of next season, but don't the Lakers need to resign him to at least a one year deal? Are they really ready for the Jordan Farmar era?
3) Big Baby's continued licking of lips. The cameramen have finally caught on, and now after every shot Davis hits, they cut to him backpedalling down the court, rolling his tongue around his lips like a mid-90s R&B video. His performance in Game 3 was nowhere near his legendary tongue rolls of Game 1 that seemed to last for 30 seconds, but I appreciate the effort. I don't like Big Baby and I especially don't like seeing him play well, but these ridiculous tongue motions almost make it bearable.

4) ABC's use of of the bleep. They picked some interesting times to use it. The bleep seemed to be mandatory anytime Kendrick Perkins or Rasheed Wallace approached a ref. I think they even used it on Jeff Van Gundy one time. I wish just once, a west coast game perhaps, after the kids have gone to sleep, that the NBA would mic up every ref and present a special edition censorship free game. I've never had the privilege of sitting close enough to the court to get an idea of what's said down there. The NBA needs to make this happen, no one cares about the clean version of what Doc Rivers says in a timeout or in the locker room.
5) Instant replay aka the refs blow 3 calls in the span of 2 minutes. I don't think NBA fans need any more convincing, but if you do, take a look at the last few minutes of this ball game for proof that the NBA has the worst officiating in all of professional sports. Every time I see a blown out of bounds call in the NBA I wonder why they can't get it right. Especially considering an NFL referee can spot a ball accurately 95 percent of the time watching a game that goes 100 mph. That would be looking at the negative side. The positive is that instant replay allowed the refs to get all three calls right. Hopefully Major League Baseball catches on.