Part 1 of this neverending installment is admittedly a homer pick. There's nothing spectacular about Joakim's hair, it's really just a longer version of Anderson Varejao's. Joakim's hair is so great because of the way he uses it. It's like a 6th man out there. It gets in opponent's eyes while they try to grab a rebound, causing them to commit silly fouls. It frustrates opposing fans to point that they expend their energy on booing the hair rather than pay attention to what's actually going on in the game.
Little known fact, former Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro was known to become so entranced by the swaying of Joakim's hair that he would completely forget that Derrick Rose was on the bench during a crucial moment of the game.
I have a theory about Joakim's hair that I have to admit is a bit far fetched. I think he was created in a laboratory for the specific purpose of attracting more female fans to the NBA, because let's be honest, even women don't watch the WNBA. If you haven't tried this, you must once the Bulls season starts up next year. Pull your wife or girlfriend into the room as you're watching the game. Don't make it obvious that you want her to take a look at the screen. Talk to her about her day and then say "Oooh," like an exciting play just happened. She will inevitabley look to see what you were ooohing and aaahing about and will notice Joakim's hair. She will inquire who that player is and proceed to tell you how jealous she is. "He has such nice hair," she will say. "So full and curly." Even though she doesn't know what a personal foul is, she will continue to watch the game for at least five more minutes to see how that hair reacts to prolonged running and banging in the paint.
The best and most underrated part about Joakim's hair is his terrible timing when choosing to retie it into a ponytail. This will always happen at the end of the game, Bulls call a timeout, down by 1, 8 seconds left on the clock. The team gathers in a huddle while the assistants draw up the play for Vinny to call. The players intently watch the play being drawn up while Joakim unties his hair, letting it fall over his shoulder. He then shakes it around like a shampoo commercial before pulling it back into a ponytail. This image during crunchtime is most likely the last thing you want to see knowing that the ball could be in his hands very soon.
Stay tuned for part 2, which may be another homer pick, depends how I'm feeling.
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