Baby, Even The Losers Get Lucky Sometimes

CJ Watson: The play called for me to inbound the ball to Luol and get it back. I kind of stopped listening to Thibs in the huddle after that. Once I heard the ball was going to be in my hands I was good. My play, my time. The other guys didn't know it yet, but there was no way they were seeing the ball.

Luol Deng: Thibs drew up a nice little play in the huddle to get me rolling to the basket, with an option for an open jumper for either Kyle or Luke. CJ was to inbound the ball to me around the three point line and then come around to receive it back. Then it was my job to roll to the basket. If I was open, CJ would hit me. If not, it was up to him to create off the dribble. I thought it was pretty curious to hear "CJ" and "create" in the same sentence, but I trusted Thibs' vision.

Carlos Boozer: Thibs is a great dude, man. His reputation as a hard ass couldn't be further from the truth. He loves all of his players, especially me. He just has a weird way of showing it. Like, for instance, he barely acknowledges I exist during a timeout. He'll glance at me real quick and then start swearing under his breath. [laughs] My job was basically to set a down screen for Kyle and then try not to get in the way. 'Think of yourself as a highly paid decoy' Thibs said. He's a funny guy.

Kyle Korver: I don't like the ball in these crunch time situations. I get nervous and my hands start to clam up. When my hands start to clam up, it's hard to get a good feel for the ball. Anyway, I saw CJ start to trend to his right, kind of getting himself into a tough situation. I ran from the corner up to the top of the key. I kept thinking 'Please don't give me the ball. Please don't give me the ball. Please don't give me the ball.' My hands felt like I'd dunked them in a tub of ice water and then I remembered it was CJ handling the ball. There was no way he was going to pass it to me, or anyone, for that matter. I was able to calm down and get myself together after that.

John Lucas III: I wanted the ball in my hands. I always do. I'm John Lucas. Why shouldn't I want the ball with the game on the line? Thibs relegated my to the baseline and gave CJ the opportunity to make a play, which is pretty shitty if you ask me. I've been in this league long enough to know that if you want something done, you have to do it yourself. If you're intent on taking a shot, you damn well better put it up when the ball is in your hands. There was a chance I would get a look, but with CJ making the decision, I knew the ball wasn't coming my way. I would have done the same thing if I was in his shoes so I can't really blame him.

CJ Watson: James Johnson switched on to me and I liked that match up. To tell you the truth, I hate the guy. He was always playing pranks with our toothbrushes on road trips last year. He's a real asshole. He's always jacked up to play us and was treating this game like Game 7 of the NBA Finals. I wanted to beat him with a nice crossover. I knew I could.

Luol Deng: Jose [Calderon] switched on to me when JJ picked up CJ. That turned out to be a pretty big development.

Carlos Boozer: I'm not eating without hot sauce.

Kyle Korver: I watched CJ attempt a fadeaway over JJ, who is like, five or six inches taller than him. I knew it wasn't going to end well. I even removed my mouthpiece thinking the game was over. 'We just lost to the Toronto Raptors,' I thought. 'Ain't that some shit.'

John Lucas III: CJ put that shot up and I couldn't believe he didn't float it more. I know he's a bit taller than I am, but c'mon man. You gotta throw that thing way up there and give it a chance. Come to think, if that was me, we would have lost the game. I would have at least hit the rim. John Lucas has never airballed a shot. [Editor's Note: CJ Watson's shot was partially blocked by James Johnson]

Coach Thibs:  GUAH WOOF RATATA AJFDLGHAOD AHDOAHDG GHAOGHAIJIAJDNCVAHE 

Luol Deng: God bless Jose Calderon. I have no idea what he was thinking. For some reason, he decided to jump backwards at put his hand up for the block like that was going to make a difference. He left me all alone to corral the rebound and I just let it go as fast as I could. I didn't even know if I got it off in time.

Kyle Korver: Pure elation. It's nice to get a win when you've already resigned yourself to a loss.

Carlos Boozer: You've seen me play. I enjoy celebrating athletic exploits whether I've taken part in them or not. I just started yelling 'Dunk that shit' because it felt right. I knew it didn't apply in that situation, but it still felt right.

John Lucas III: I found Luol and jumped on his shoulders. He didn't even feel me there, I don't think.

CJ Watson: I was extremely pleased with the way I was able to create and get our team the victory.

Coach Thibs: I spent our off days locked in a Motel 6 with nothing but a 2 liter bottle of mineral water and a large bag of Smartfood popcorn. Lesson learned. I won't be drawing up out-of-bounds plays in that sort of environment ever again.

Great Moments In Troll History: Rose Says 'No' To Big Macs

One Big Mac - ~$3.49

Average Bulls Ticket - $66

Rose's New Adidas Deal - 14-years worth up to 260 Million

Letting the air out of 20 thousand people legitimately excited to save three bucks and change - PRICELESS

The better your team, the longer the regular season seems to drag, especially for a team like the Bulls on the cusp of a Finals appearance. Truthfully, there is nothing, save for three more games against Miami, that will tell us anything new about this team. The season begins in the Eastern Conference Finals; the rest is just satisfying filler. In a slow-moving season, where the Bulls return almost an identical team and will win a ridiculous percentage of their games, it is necessary to cling to the peculiarities. Luol Deng's mohawk, CJ Watson's beard, Carlos Boozer's spray-on hair -- all inconsequential details that serve the purpose of breaking up the monotony surrounding the team. Mike James joins the team to a unexpected outpouring of support. Joakim Noah develops a new Finger-Gunz celebration. Derrick Rose sinks another game winner -- a different game winner. Anything to pass the time until mid-May.

Another such peculiarity occurred in yesterday's 99-95 Bulls win. In what looked to be the makings of a fourth quarter blowout, the Hornets clawed back and actually took a four-point lead with 1:25 to play. Derrick Rose did Derrick Rose things to push the Bulls back into a four-point lead with ten seconds left. The Hornets turned the ball over on their last possession and rather than let the time run out and take the loss, Jarrett Jack inexplicably prolonged the sting of a hard-fought loss by fouling Rose with four seconds left. Rose needed to convert only one of his two free throws to give the Bulls 100 points and the fans free Big Macs.

The Big Mac cheers are something everyone is a little sick of, on par with Kingisms and Scalabrine chants. Giving away free food as a way to entice people to show up seemed like a viable plan when Ron Mercer and Eddie Robinson were big free agent draws. It's an outdated promotional tool. The Bulls are one of the best two or three best teams in the NBA, have one of the league's top-five players, and practically are guaranteed to win at home. There shouldn't need to be any incentive to get people to show up to games. Nevertheless, the Big Mac thing has cemented itself as a UC tradition and isn't going anywhere. 

For a little context, Rose had made all nine of his free throw attempts before the Jack foul, including seven in the fourth quarter. He was shooting 82 percent from the line going into the Hornets game. Averages would tell you he'd miss BOTH free throw attempts to keep in line with his season average. One miss maybe, but two appeared unlikely. He clanked the first free throw, to add drama, we all figured. Then he clanked the second. The crowd reacted like the Bulls had lost and slowly exited, heads down, aiming to purchase their own disgusting 30-grams-of-fat from the nearest McDonald's. 

With this performance, Derrick Rose carved out his spot in "Great Moments in Troll History." He performed to the highest level, took over the game down the stretch, did just enough to secure the win, but not enough to secure the coma-inducing slop. Hey, people need to be alive to buy his shoes. He knows this. An impressive feat all around. In any other season, this moment would qualify as a blip on the radar. In 2012, as the Bulls chug their way to the playoffs and us fans are spoiled with wins, this moment qualifies as memorable.

All Around The World The Same Song

"Give me that stupid hat and take off your shirt!" Or something along those lines.

All of the worst things people say about Valentine's Day are true. It is a made-up holiday, no doubt, manufactured for the purpose of selling candy, flowers, and Hallmark cards. It puts unnecessary pressure on guys who feel they've done a pretty good job up to this point. Worse yet, Valentine's Day plays on the insecurities of (mostly) women whose existence is validated by a man in their life. You are not single and have not been for some time. Being the pampered soul you are, you bemoan the yearly difficulties of impressing someone who is going to love you regardless.

Valentine's Day is not all anxiety and depression. In a long-term relationship, you, and everyone really, have the tendency to take your partner for granted. Valentine's Day, if nothing else, is your yearly reminder to show them you care, even though you don't always show it. You'd prefer something less traditional as a Valentine's Day warm-up, but your girlfriend wants to see The Vow. You think of hundreds of things, some of them very unsavory, you would rather do, but your girlfriend wants to see The Vow so The Vow is what you're going to see. You've subjected her to the Washington Wizards and the Portland Trail Blazers and Tony Allen enough to understand relationships even things out. You recall a recent conversation:

"Who's playing?"

"The Knicks and Timberwolves."

"Gross. Who do you want to win?"

"Oh, I don't really care."

"Why are you watching if you don't care who wins?"

You have no good answer for this question. It isn't normal to watch a six or so hours of basketball a night? Normal people do other things on Saturday night? You watch basketball because that's what you enjoy, and you cannot explain why you get so much satisfaction from sitting idly and watching others achieve athletic greatness. It isn't easy to love you, you understand, and realize the least you can do is sit still for two more hours and watch The Vow instead of LeBron.


The Vow transports you to a world where you are supposed to believe Channing Tatum is an underdog, overdue bills are paid with LOVE, and a near fatal car accident is ultimately beneficial. Tatum wears a goofy hat in the beginning and ugly sweaters throughout--a deal breaker for most guys, but Channing Tatum is not most guys. He made the women in the theater (about 80 percent of the crowd) swoon when he appeared in a        
non-frontal nude scene. His love interest, Rachel McAdams is a well-dressed coat rack, serving mostly to get Tatum naked and to help him set an impossible "good guy" standard. Despite the plot being structured around McAdams' ability to remember, you get the feeling a hour-long loop of Tatum in his underwear reciting a sappy monologue would have grossed the same.

There is no need to get into the story because you know how the story ends. This does not stop you, however, from becoming immersed. You try to deny it, but a part of you says "Fuck Jeremy," and wonders why it's taking so long for McAdams to make the right decision. This can't possibly be a true story like the opening credits say it is, and if so, how much money are these real people making off this? The actress playing McAdams' sister is fortunate to look like her, you think, helping time move by. You want to feel above this, but you know you aren't. Deep down, you know every basketball season is no different from the worst chick flicks.

The ending, storylines, and drama are the same, played by different actors/players and shifting circumstances based on story/team. You know the year will end with a champion being crowned. You know there will be surprise team and a surprise rookie or two. You know this team will come up short in the playoffs and these breakout player(s) will regress to the mean. You don't care. This is your preferred form of entertainment. The difference being, those who enjoy chick flicks always root for the winner. They know they will leave happy. It's not like that in sports. You don't want your team to be Jeremy or the douchy future-brother-in-law who, in his big scene, questions the profitability of a recording studio in today's day and age. You want your team to be Channing Tatum and there can only be one.

To borrow an English phrase, the Bulls seem to be losing the plot a bit. At full-strength they're the best team in the NBA. Will they ever be at full-strength though? This is not meant to be a panicked reaction to a regular season road loss to Boston without Derrick Rose. This is a legitimate concern come playoff time. The Bulls will finish with the top seed in the East and face Miami in the Eastern Conference Finals. This is the predictable part of the movie. Nagging injuries or not, as long as Rose and Deng play, the Bulls are good enough to get past the first two rounds. Rose and Deng's injuries seem like they aren't going away and Rip Hamilton has literally went away somewhere. No one has seen him in weeks. Twenty-point road wins against bad teams are nice and all, but Miami is the only real competition to get the girl.

It feels like the Bulls are descending into supporting role territory or even worse, one of those woman who hosts an Anti-Valentine's Day Party. That's probably too extreme you're thinking, but remember, you sat through The Vow last night--you're not thinking straight. Your bewilderment and inherent pessimism knows no bounds and you just want the Bulls to be Channing Tatum because The Vow did its job and made you feel oh so inadequate.

See how none of this makes sense?        

Nick Toon (No Nickelodeon)

Perusing Twitter a few weeks ago, I came across Wisconsin Senior wideout Nick Toon's Twitter handle -- @TOOOOOOOOOOON -- a tip of the cap to the fans who bellow his name after every catch. It's not the funniest or most clever, but it's my new favorite Twitter handle. My first thought was to count the number of "O"s because why not? I was pleased to count 11 "O"s. Solid. Eleven is an arbitrary, clunky number. Ten is nice and clean. The 11 tells me Toon typed a "T," placed his right index finger on the "O" key and held it there for a few seconds, and followed up with an "N." Had he been concerned with aesthetics or practicality, he would have made it an even ten. I immediately thought of situations in which his Twitter handle may be problematic:

UW-MADISON STUDENT: I'll hit you on Twitter about this Agricultural Journalism project. What's your handle?

TOON: It's TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON.

UW-MADISON STUDENT: Uhh, how many "O"s is that?

TOON: Jesus, I have no idea. Just type my name in the search box and my account should pop up on the right side.

UW-MADISON: So you want me to type your name into Twitter? Is this some kind of lame attempt to show me how many people are talking about you?

TOON: I have over five thousand followers.

And so on.

I've often wondered if athletes seriously consider why the crowd chants their name. They're fan favorites or good players, those seem like the obvious answers. Sometimes familiarity with a player -- he's played most or all of his career for the same team, or even tradition -- we chant his name because we've always done it, play a part. During pregame introductions in the 1990s, roars of LUUUUUUUUUUUUUC would fill the United Center when Luc Longley was introduced. Nowadays, Luc has been replaced with LUUUUUUUUUUUU for Luol Deng. For Bulls fans, tradition meets appreciation in the form of pregame introductions. Each time Packers fullback John Kuhn touches the ball, Lambeau is engulfed in KUUUUUUUUUUUUHN chants. Kuhn is a short and stout white guy who does all the dirty work. His primary role is that of lead blocker, but he will occasionally be asked to pick up short yardage or catch a checkdown out of the backfield and take on a linebacker head on. Kuhn's look and style of play appeal to the blue-collar sensibilities of the Green Bay fans. He could be and probably is the guy sitting next to you at Joe's Texas Barbecue, wolfing down the hefty pulled pork sandwich.

TOOOOOOOOOOON is a combination of all of these elements. Former walk-on Luke Swan preceded Toon at Wisconsin and became a fan favorite. Camp Randall shouted LUUUUUUUUUUUUUKE after every catch and held their right arms at 90 degree angles, rotating their hand to resemble a swan's head. Aided by his father's impressive NFL and UW resume, Toon endeared himself to the crowd with his athleticism and knack for making the spectacular catch. Now a Senior, Toon has developed into the consistent Number One receiver the team envisioned him as two years ago. Chants of his name are as much an appreciation for his development as a player as they are an adherence to tradition and nepotism.

As nice as it is to talk of tradition and performance, we cannot ignore the obvious. There are many great players, iconic players, all-time great players who have never heard their name chanted in a stadium. This isn't because they are overlooked or their home fans are shitty. They simply do not have names as aurally pleasing or compatible with a sustained chant. Peyton Manning, Brian Urlacher, James Harrison, Adrian Peterson -- great players, but names that need to be broken down to multiple syllables in order to chant. They just wouldn't sound as good.

Not to take anything away from the Nick Toons of the world, but he clearly is the beneficiary of a perfect name. The special sign of appreciation Camp Randall shows to him is as arbitrary as the number of "O"s in his Twitter handle. The fans mostly scream his name because the close back rounded vowel sound in "Toon" is nice to listen to for 5-10 seconds at a time. And this is why @TOOOOOOOOOOON is my new favorite Twitter handle. It caused me to contemplate an otherwise glossed-over subtlety of fan behavior, and I now know what a close back rounded vowel sound is. 

Neither of these pieces of information are useful in any way.  

Day 1: Bulls-Pacers (Game 1)

Due to his slightly over exaggerated comments about the Bulls, Danny Granger became the story of Game One even before the game started. When asked whether he would prefer to face the Bulls or Celtics in the Playoffs, Granger said Chicago. "Chicago, they go as Derrick Rose goes," he stated. "If you can make a concerted effort to stop Derrick Rose, you have a better chance of beating them."

To be fair, Granger didn't say anything inflammatory, or even ridiculous. Many people feel Boston, because of their playoff experience, will be a tougher out. And the Bulls do tend to lean heavily on Rose for their offense.

Part of the lore surrounding Rose during his 2011 MVP campaign is the Jordan-esque memory he seems to have developed regarding past performances. Jordan was the master of self-motivation. He scoured the Earth for anything that could be perceived as a slight against him or his team. Rose is the same way. It has been no coincidence that some of his most dominant performances have come against teams that beat the Bulls earlier in the season. The Bulls' 115-108 overtime loss against Indiana the last time the two met, coupled with Granger's comments, figured to fuel Rose to a monster performance. Much of the onus then fell on Granger's shoulders, as many looked to see if he could back his words up in Game One.

While Granger is Indiana's best player, I felt Tyler Hansbrough was going to be the key to this game. He torched the Bulls for 29 points on 10-19 shooting in their last meeting against the Boozer-less Bulls. I thought he'd be able to exploit Boozer on the offensive end and he did. Hansbrough provided the usual hustle plays, crazy eyes, and ability to knock down that damn mid-range jumper that Boozer gave him all game. Granger's 18 points in the second half (including the first eight to start to half) fueled the Pacers, but he won't go off like that from behind the arc all series. Hansbrough is the disconcerting match up because he can do what he did today every game.

I'm not normally one to harp for too long on stats, but today I will make the necessary exception. The Bulls are the best team in the NBA at defending the three-point line. They held teams to 32.6 percent shooting during the regular season, best in the league, and gave up less threes than anyone this year. The Pacers went 10-18 from three-point line. That's an  unacceptable 55.6 percent.

The Bulls are also the best rebounding team in the NBA. They out rebounded Indiana 49-34 (21-13 on the offensive glass) but were outscored 9-8 on second chance points. They gave up 10.1 offensive rebounds a game during the regular season. With a rebounding advantage as sizable as the Bulls' was today, there's no excuse for being outscored in second chance points. Three-point shooting and second chance points were what kept Indiana in the game. If the Bulls performed even remotely close to what they normally do in these areas, this is a double digit victory.

The Bulls closed out the game on a 16-1 run. After two Deng free throws, Rose scored or assisted on 12 of the Bulls' last 14 points. I'm not sure there is any other player I would want on my team at this point to close a game. Rose adjusted during crunch time. His shot wasn't falling (he went 0-9 from three) so he attacked the basket, as he did all game. He attacked the basket with reckless abandon, hammered home an "And 1," spun into the lane to finish off a 7-foot floater, made two more free throws and set up a wide-open Korver three with his penetration.

Watching the end of this game, it's easy to see why Chicago's critics think the Bulls are too dependent on one player. But look at the shots Deng and Korver knocked down this game. Those two, along with Boozer will have to pick up the slack when the ball is inevitably forced out of Rose's hands. Deng and Korver stepped up today. I'm not buying that this game somehow exposes an offensively flawed team. Team defense and rebounding were the two biggest issues today. Bigger than anything that happened on the offensive end.

Panini's For Everyone, Part I

In addition to the 2010 Panini Classics football pack I opened, I decided to pick up its basketball counterpart -- a pack of 2010-11 Panini Threads. Randomly inserted are rookie autographed cards with a swatch of a game worn jersey. Yeah, I was hoping for one of those.
Again, visit the blog A Pack To Be Named Later where I lifted the idea from. They've opened hundreds of packs across sports and years that will keep you entertained for hours.

#9 Luol Deng. It's nice to get a Bulls player. I suppose I can add this to the collection and look back fondly in 20 years, even if Deng hasn't lived up to his contract.

#15 Vince Carter. Hey, there's an All-Star on this card! It's just not Vince Carter.

#8 Monta Ellis. I have nothing bad to say about Monta. I just wish he didn't play on the West Coast so I could see him play more often.

#10 Samuel Dalembert. Dalembert is referred to as "The Haitian Eraser" on the back of the card. Why has this nickname not caught on? This would catapult to top 5 NBA nicknames, easily.

#16 Pau Gasol Die-Cut Jersey Insert. This was the only insert I received in either of the two packs. It's cut in the shape of Gasol's jersey, put doesn't actually contain any game used jersey. Eh, I guess it looks kind of cool.

Thoughts On The Bulls First Preseason Game

Kyle Korver is going to be a much more important edition than most of us anticipated. While it was largely believed Korver would stand out by the three point line and become the recipient of Rose's drive and kick outs, Korver will probably play a bigger role than that. Thibodeau had him coming off screens, and with his quick release, he was extremely effective, shooting 7-12 from the floor.
Corey Brewer was out, so he obviously couldn't compete with Korver tonight, but from what I saw Tuesday, Korver's making a strong case for the starting 2 guard spot. The only question is if he can hold up defensively. Hopefully, the preseason will present some opportunities for us to find out.
It looks like within this offense, Taj Gibson will be asked to shoot the midrange jumper. He had a few wide open looks and only made one of them. With Boozer out, the Bulls find themselves in a familiar position, lacking an inside scoring presence. Until then, Gibson will have to hit that shot consistently, because neither him or Noah are feared down low.
Speaking of Noah, he was not only aggressive on the boards (as expected), but on the offensive end as well. Much has been made about Noah's offensive development over the offseason. Reports have said he's been working on a hook shot, although he didn't showcase it in Tuesday's game. Noah's touch around the rim didn't look too good, but that could possibly be attributed to early season rust.
Luol Deng looked as comfortable than ever in Thibodeau's offense. Thibodeau made it a point after he was hired to speak on how he believed Deng wasn't being used properly in Vinny Del Negro's offense. In the past, Deng was more effective when he was able to slash to the basket, rather than settling for jumpers like he was expected to do in Del Negro's system.

Soon-to-be fan favorite Brian Scalabrine will make this team. Brought in because he played within Thibodeau's system in Boston, Scalabrine looked great on the offensive and defensive end. Familiarity within a system is a bigger factor to success than most people realize, and Scalabrine has plenty of that. The biggest thing about Scalabrine is he knows his role. He plays solid defense, and won't try to do too much on the offensive end. He'll take an open shot if it's there. At this point, I'd much rather have him at the end of the bench than James Johnson's out of control play.
He only played 18 minutes, but Brandon Jennings didn't look for his shot as much as he did last season. I'm not sure if it was Scott Skiles' intention, but it looked like Skiles was trying to mold Jennings into a more prototypical point guard, rather than the shoot first guard he was last year.
Milwaukee will have plenty of scoring options this year, and while Jennings was one of the most exciting players in the league last year, it's probably in the Bucks' best interest to make Jennings more of a distributor.
Both teams are extremely deep. No Bogut, Salmons, or Maggette for Milwaukee. No Brewer or Boozer for Chicago. That's five combined starters, and there was still plenty of quality on the floor. This will be a great battle all season, between what looks like the cream of the crop in the Central Division.