I was in Dick's Sporting Goods a few years ago looking around and noticed the mini basketball hoop they had in stock. The official name of it was SKLZ Pro Mini Hoop. I glanced at the picture on the box, and it was the closest thing I'd ever seen to a real basketball hoop. Real rim, real net, rubber ball, plastic backboard (but looks glass), and a rim with a built in spring, so it won't break off when you dunk. All inside the comfort of your own home!
It was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen. I immediately wished it had been around when I was a kid. When I was a kid, we had to replace the hoop every six months or so. It couldn't withstand a barrage of dunks and terribly missed shots off the front of the rim. Just looking at this SKLZ hoop, I could tell that it was durable, and would never need to be replaced.
A few days ago, on a whim, I decided I was going to buy this hoop. I checked on the internet and saw that the cheapest price was 22 dollars. I didn't want to wait, so I ended up paying thirty for it in the stores. I know what you're thinking. How can a grown man possibly justify spending thirty dollars on a mini basketball hoop...for himself? Well, I'm going to try.
After purchasing this mini hoop, my confidence has skyrocketed. My entire life I've wondered what it would feel like to play like Shaq or LeBron James. Now I know. Anything within five feet of the basket I make easily. I can overpower imaginary defenders and dunk with one or both hands. My left handed hook is equally as effective has my right hander. I can soar through the air, bang my head on the rim, and make ridiculous reverse layups.
But will all of this comes a drawback. A major drawback at that. I can't shoot.
That's right, I can't shoot. You know how I was talking about feeling like Shaq in the paint, well I've also been feeling like Shaq at the free throw line. The hoop is hanging from my door, and its height is even with my hands when I raise them above my head. It's hard to get any arc on the shot. So needless to say, I've been banging the majority of my shots off the front of the rim. It makes a loud noise too, so it's obvious to anyone in the house that you've not just missed, but missed badly.
Second reason why the hoop is great: I get a workout. I don't know if it's been the heat of late, or the fact that I've been taking this a little too seriously, but I've worked up a sweat playing the last few days. I can't ever remember sweating while playing on a mini hoop as a kid. This probably speaks more to my lack of conditioning, but it's never a bad thing to get some exercise, regardless of how you get it.
Exercise and increased confidence are great, but neither trumps what will surely be the biggest payoff of this hoop: it will be there when I'm watching Bulls games. One thing I never grew out of was trying to imitate athletes and great athletic plays. To this day I get incredibly excited after watching a great play and desperately go looking for an outlet to express that excitement.
I finally have that outlet. I can see it now. Next time Derrick Rose abuses a defender and floats in a tear drop, I will do the same. Next time Joakim Noah grabs a rebound, runs the floor, and finishes the fast break with a dunk, I'll do the same. I love it. No more pantomiming a ball in my hand, ticking the last seconds down in my head, only to shoot an invisible basketball that always goes in.
Now I have the actual ball, actual hoop, seconds still ticking away in my head, but now I can actually miss. Oh well, let the big kid have his fun. Thirty dollars well spent if you ask me.
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