The 10 Worst Things About Being A Cubs Fan, Part I

August is almost here and the Cubs are 10 games under .500. Now is about the time I start wishing I was a fan of another team, any other team. To cope with the misery that is baseball in August, I present the 10 worst things about being a Cubs fan.
10) 1:20 Games - Wrigley Field has been around since 1914, so as you may expect, the Cubs are reluctant to change. Unfortunately this has extended into the game schedule as well. Lights weren't installed in Wrigley until 1988, so the Cubs were forced to play afternoon games so they could get them in before dark. They have lights now but still the afternoon games. Unlike me, some Cubs fans are actually, you know, employed. Most people aren't free at 1:20 on Tuesday.
9) No Instant Replay - Yeah, this is another gripe about the Cubs being reluctant to change. I love Wrigley Field, and I love the fact that they've maintained its appearance even 100 years later. However, its not the most fan-friendly of ball parks out there. The old time scoreboard is certainly a throwback, but is it too much to ask to have an electric portion of the scoreboard capable of showing replays? It's never a good look when you can just stay at home and get a better sense of what's going on than when you're at the game.
8) The Fans - This point needs a bit of clarification. I feel Cubs fans are unjustly criticized most of the time, so let me start by saying, that there are a lot of great Cubs fans out there. They follow all the games, are knowledgeable, and can admit when the team sucks. This isn't about them (I include myself in that group, by the way). Here are the three types of Cubs fans I hate:
1) The "Happy to be Here" Fan. The male version of the "Happy to be Here" fan drinks as much as he can at the game. He only knows half of the players, knows nothing about the game of baseball, but roots his heart out as loudly has possible. You find a lot of these types at the bleachers. Sometimes they're funny, most of the time, just annoying.
The female version is one that treats a Cubs game like a Friday night party. You can tell they took at least three hours to get ready for the game. To accommodate them, Wrigley Field has added margaritas and vodka mixed drinks to their menu. They care a great deal about meeting people, texting and talking during an important at bat. Basically anything that doesn't involve the game. Most people, as misguided as they are, think this fan represents all Cubs fans.
2) The "I'm in the Neighborhood" Fan. Wrigley Field is located in a very rich, trendy area in the north side of Chicago. As you may expect, this area attracts quite a few 20 somethings that are living off of their parents' trust funds. They find it trendy to root for the Cubs, and since they're in the neighborhood, they go to a bunch of games. They know nothing about baseball and may not even be from Illinois or any of the other states that typically root for the Cubs. It should be known that many of these fans can also fit into category number 1.
3) The Delusional Fan. He or she thinks "This is the Year." They probably think that right now, the Cubs still have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs. It's one thing to be optimistic, it's another to be delusional. Every team has fans like this, but it's harder to justify it when your team hasn't won in 102 years.

7) Mark Prior - No player sums up the Cubs organization better than Mark Prior. He was the supposed savior of the organization who suffered a freak collision with Marcus Giles running the bases, which laid the groundwork for a career filled with shoulder injuries. Unrealized potential. Those two words sum of Prior and the Cubs perfectly. It still frustrates me to think about the type of player Prior could have become. In his short time with the Cubs he's already the best Cubs pitcher I've ever seen and will most likely be a top 3 Cubs pitcher of my lifetime.
6) Defeatist Attitude - Despite how confident, ignorant, or cocky Cubs fans appear at the surface, they are all miserable deep down. None of us have any confidence that our team can win a World Series. We may talk like we do, but deep down, we don't believe it. This was on display during Game 1 of the 2008 NLDS against the Dodgers. Despite jumping out to a 2-0 lead, Cubs fans at Wrigley didn't get excited. It was like they were waiting for something bad to happen, and the announcers noticed it.
Funny thing is, I reacted the exact same way watching the game. I was literally shaking while watching the game, waiting for something bad to happen. It was easy to criticize that crowd for not rallying behind their team, some of it was warranted, but if you're not a Cubs fan, you don't understand.
Part II coming up next.