Eli Was There, But Not Really

The Super Bowl is over. Finally. Two teams you hate squared off and as is unfortunately always the case, one of them had to win. Super Bowl MVP Eli Manning played fantastic, completing 75 percent of his passes for 296 yards, and one touchdown. The commercials and halftime performance sucked as much as they always have and Cris Collinsworth would take some good, old-fashioned discipline from Tom Coughlin any day of the week. The outcome of this game was almost decided by the assumption Ahmad Bradshaw would make the smart play, which is absolutely hilarious if you're not a Giants fan. Rob Gronkowksi appeared hobbled by injury and Tom Brady is now a choke artist because he lost to Eli twice--in the Super Bowl--and Peyton Manning, and Bart Starr, and Otto Graham would have never let that happen to them. Stripped of the silly narratives, Super Bowl XLVI was an entertaining game, even if you were still hung over from the night before.

The night should have belonged to Eli and the Giants alone, but Peyton's shadow hung over the place like the Colts' Divisional Championship banners. I undertook the painstaking mission of compiling all the questions asked to Eli Manning in the weeks leading up to the Super Bowl. It turns out 100 percent of the questions in some way reverted back to Peyton. Here are the most common:

    

1) We're here in Indianapolis, in the stadium your brother Peyton built. What does this mean to you knowing you grew up watching Peyton complete his engineering homework as the sweet smell of your mother's casserole danced around the kitchen?

2) Given the severity of the injury and delicate balance needed to assess any damage to the neck area, how will this affect Peyton's ability to analyze your throwing motion come Sunday?

3) The 2007 Playoffs was perhaps the most unpredictable NFL postseason of the last decade, marked by San Diego's stunning upset of the Colts in the second round. What, if anything, did you learn from that crushing defeat?

4) On a scale of 1-10, 10 being 'Big-Big Asshole,' how would you rate Andrew Luck as a person?

5) You came under fire early in your career for refusing to play for the San Diego Chargers, who drafted you first overall in 2004. Was your decision motivated by the thought of having to play your older brother in the Playoffs every year?

6) We know Peyton has been breaking down film furiously over these last couple of weeks, more than yourself, I'm sure. It's no secret the two of you have talked strategy all year. In the event of a win Sunday, how much of the credit does Peyton deserve? 18 percent? 50? 100?

7) Five years before you entered the league, we watched Peyton exert an unparalleled amount of control over play-calling at the line of scrimmage. Watching you bumble through your progressions, you appeared retarded in comparison. Have you always been retarded, or is this something that has come to light only since playing football professionally?

8) Critics of your brother have pointed out his repeated postseason failures. They've duly noted a Super Bowl win over a Rex Grossman-led team should be taken with a grain of salt. Meanwhile, the same people say your TWO wins over Tom Brady and the Patriots are proof of your superiority as a quarterback. What would you say to dispel this obviously faulty logic?

9) As part of the 37-hour Super Bowl pregame marathon, you told the touching story of the first time you beat Peyton in a game of basketball. Off the record, can you admit that story was a lie and you have never beaten Peyton at anything?

10) Growing up, Peyton berated you. He pushed you around, beat you up, and never let you win at anything. He'd tell you to "Look over there!" and eat the food off your plate when you turned your head. Some older brothers coddle their younger brothers, preferring to support and encourage them in every way possible. Explain how a miserable, anxiety-riddled childhood was ultimately more beneficial than one with loving and functional familial relationships.          

11) On a scale of 1-10, 10 being 'Completely Useless' and 1 being 'Appendix,' how would you rate Jim Caldwell's job performance?

12) Peyton wouldn't be caught dead driving a 2012 Corvette Grand Sport Convertible Centennial Edition, would he?

13) Interestingly enough, Peyton has two kids and one Super Bowl, and you have one kid and two Super Bowls. How frustrated is Peyton, knowing he's on the wrong end of the kid : Super Bowl ratio?

14) To us Northerners, who, barring a Chernobyl-like disaster, would never venture below the Mason Dixon line; Mississippi and Tennessee are viewed as equally abysmal states. Describe the merits of both states without structuring your argument around "Peyton attended school in one of them."

15) Your father, Archie, always says he loves all his children equally, regardless of whether they play football, sell insurance, or are female. We all know this isn't true. As the new favorite, how will you deal with your father's unadulterated attention this offseason? Is it safe to pencil in Peyton as the 2013 Super Bowl MVP?

16) The new popular saying is "You can't spell 'Elite' without 'Eli.'" Has Peyton begun to unscramble the letters in his name to compose a flattering buzzword?

17) This preseason you said you were "absolutely" in the same class as Tom Brady. Is this class one or two rungs below your brother?

18) Staunch observers have criticized network coverage for deflecting too much of YOUR attention onto your brother. When you retire and you've won more Super Bowls and put up similar career numbers to Peyton, will you just laugh at the stupidity of the general public, or make like Aaron Rodgers and become an analyst for the sole purpose of airing your remorseful, bitter rants?

Ballin' Like Jordan

JAY CUTLER and AARON RODGERS walk the streets of downtown Green Bay. CUTLER wears sunglasses despite it being 6:30 at night and a black hoodie over his head. RODGERS wears a black ski mask as to appear inconspicuous. After much good-natured debate, the two finally settle on Angelina Restaurant, a fine Italian eatery. They take their seats in the back, isolated from the other patrons. Their host flips CUTLER the bird as he returns to the front desk. CUTLER does not notice.


RODGERS: Friend, it is an honor to have you here with me in this beautiful city to enjoy a bountiful meal.

CUTLER: 25 bucks for the veal?!?! You're paying, right?

RODGERS: Of course. What kind of host would I be? Besides, I've always wanted to thank you for the way you've taken my brother Jordan under your wing. You wouldn't know it, but he was pretty scared to go out to Vanderbilt. His heart was in California.

CUTLER: It was nothing, really. Good kid. Can't quarterback for SHIT, but not everyone is meant to succeed at Vanderbilt. In fact, NO ONE is meant to succeed at Vanderbilt. He caught Florida at a good time. He caught Tennessee at a good time -- AND STILL LOST.

RODGERS: I've also been concerned with his performance of late. Believe me, I've watched the tape. Cincinnati is sure to pose a serious threat. I worry about his preparation. I worry about his focus.

CUTLER: "Preparation." "Focus." What do those words even mean? That's a bunch of coachspeak. You don't need to worry about those things.

RODGERS: I AM worried. I haven't spoken to him in months. I phoned him just a week ago and someone picked up and didn't say anything. All I heard was fart noises and hip-hop playing in the background.

CUTLER: Sounds like a fucking blast. Too bad I was cooped up in that shitty Denver hotel.

RODGERS: Has he reached out to you? It's driving me crazy. When did it become a burden to give his big brother a call back?

CUTLER: This is a busy time of the year for him. He's probably studying for final exams. And by 'studying for final exams,' I mean hitting the books. And by 'hitting the books' I mean stroking the intellect. And by 'stroking the intellect' I mean having sex with 18-year-old coeds.

RODGERS: GAAAA. My suspicions have been confirmed. I realize college is a time for fun and experimentation, but this is his FUTURE we're talking about. I've typed his name into Google Images and have discovered some absolutely repugnant photographs.

CUTLER: Let's see 'em.

RODGERS: Here is the first one I came across:

    

CUTLER: [Laughing obnoxiously] That's JUST a Halloween costume.

RODGERS: What kind of self-respecting, heterosexual man dresses up as a cheerleader for Halloween?

CUTLER: The kind who is trying to get a little novelty pussy. That's who.

RODGERS: What about this one:

CUTLER: [Suddenly very stern] Photoshopped.

RODGERS: Oh, thank God. This one was almost too much to bear.

CUTLER: No, I mean the Shake Weight is photoshopped. There was something else ENTIRELY in his hands.

RODGERS: OH Dear Me! I....I can't. All of this monkey business ENDS NOW.

CUTLER: Give him a break, friend. I know this is hard for you to believe, but some of us quarterbacks are perfectly capable of living happy and productive lives without mercilessly dissecting a defense. We're flawed. We laugh at our shortcomings. We get by the best we can.

RODGERS: Jordan is not your average run-of-the-mill quarterback. He has it in him to be GREAT. I know it.  

CUTLER: Far be it from me to judge your kid brother. I've only worked out with him. What do I know?

RODGERS: I have a plan. A TOP SECRET PLAN. Can you keep a secret?

CUTLER: Why all the secrets? Just last week Tim Tebow told me.....

RODGERS: Told you what?

CUTLER: Nothing.

RODGERS: Anyway, I've devised a plan to ensure that Jordan gets his head on straight. He's going to be visiting me in Green Bay for Christmas. I'm going to sneak him into the locker room hours before game time. We look enough alike. He'll dress in my jersey and pads and play quarterback for the Green Bay Packers this  Sunday night. Christmas Day. Bears-Packers. Best rivalry in football.

CUTLER: That sounds like a fantastic idea.

RODGERS: What better way to inoculate him into the pro game than against Julius Peppers with no right tackle and the number one seed in the NFC on the line?

CUTLER: I've played three years in Chicago without a right tackle. It's not easy.

CUTLER: We also have Luc McNabb or whatever his name is starting, so Jordan should have no problem winning the game.

RODGERS: EXACTLY. I want him to play poorly and still win. I want to show him the embarrassment that comes with your team winning despite you. Hopefully this will be the necessary first step in getting him to take his position and the game of football seriously.

CUTLER: I see no holes in this plan whatsoever, even if I do think you're being a bit harsh on him. Now tell me, where are the hot spots in Green Bay? I'M DYING TO WHIP MY DICK OUT.

RODGERS: You're at one of them.

CUTLER: This veal IS delicious.

I Wanna Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil, On Sugar Hill

Sam Hurd illustrates the comfort of a drug pusher whose livelihood is not dependent upon pushing drugs.

One of my favorite hip-hop songs is "Sugar Hill" by AZ. The protagonist of the song, presumably AZ himself, is a small-time drug dealer dreaming of a better life -- from being surrounded by ladies "of all races with dime faces" to living in a villa in Costa Rica. The symbolism is clear. While the "Sugar Hill" is an imaginary utopia where AZ can experience the finer things in life, it is literally a mountain of cocaine. Chilling on "Sugar Hill" is living the good life as a result of illegal activity. This attitude is usually deemed contemptible by most people, but public opinion sometimes shifts after considering the circumstances. In this song, AZ describes drug dealing as a means to an end rather than an end in itself -- hardly a unique sentiment. His involvement in the drug game was out of necessity, feeling he had no other option to realize his lofty and mostly superficial dreams. His goal is to make money and get the hell out. Even the staunchest opponents of drugs and drug pushing can sympathize with the idea of a down-and-out young man -- no matter how misguided -- doing something dangerous and illegal to try and reverse his luck.

Which is why the news of Sam Hurd's arrest is so damn fascinating/surprising. Sam Hurd lives comfortably in Lake Forest with his wife and daughter. Sam Hurd just signed a three year contract for up to 5 million dollars to play mostly special teams and contribute jack shit on offense. Sam Hurd attends parties sponsored by Grey Goose. I think everyone's initial reactions was: WHY? YOU'RE ALREADY FUCKING RICH. Speculation for his motives were ranging; greed, selfishness, and stupidity seemed to be the most popular. Maybe Hurd wasn't content with a measly NFL salary. Maybe he wanted to be more than a piddling NFL special teams player. Maybe he was stupid enough to think he wouldn't get caught even after a tipster linked an acquaintance of his to a cocaine negotiation in Dallas this summer. I'd venture to guess his motives were complicated and cannot be boiled down to a singular explanation. We will probably never know. All we know is that Hurd does not fit the archetypal drug-dealing character that AZ and many others have created.

So think of this as the last story to complete the implosion of the 2011 Chicago Bears. First Cutler's thumb, then Forte's MCL, and now Sam Hurd's Pusha T impression. Nice and quick and detonated by Tim Tebow, I guess. This story isn't over, of course. Should any of the reported "double digit" number of NFL players who purchased drugs from Hurd turn out to be Chicago Bears -- well -- the team is fucked. Lovie will be fired, players will be suspended, and Hurd will occupy a jail cell regardless. Wasn't it only a month ago it seemed like if an unheralded ragamuffin team were to upset the infallible Aaron Rodgers in the second round of the playoffs, the Bears would sneak into the Super Bowl? That feeling seems like ages ago, even in marijuana minutes.

Sugar Hill. Shiny and towering and powerful from afar. Nice to chill on top of for a while. Its weak foundation is easily concealed by its beauty. I have to believe Sam Hurd knew all of this. I'm still wondering why he built it.            

A Most Sincere Appreciation of all Things Packers

I took a trip over to the local library this afternoon to return a book and came across, dare I say, a typical Chicago Bears fan. Like all Bears fans, this one was more concerned with the Packers than his own team. He wore a heavy blue and white flannel shirt, a black knitted cap, and stood, feet firmly planted on the roof. Whether he was up there to fix something or bring home his point I don't know. Another man, bigger, perhaps more rational held the ladder and yelled up to him, "They're all saying Aaron Rodgers is overrated." Keep in mind I approached them mid-conversation so I couldn't tell you how they got to that point. My immediate reaction was, "ALL? Who's saying such a thing? No large, reactionary group of people could possibly be that stupid." The man on the roof yelled down to him, "Aaron Rodgers IS overrated." This was his moment, his statement to end all statements -- a thought more definitive than any he'd conjured up in 35 or so years of living. 

Suddenly, the wind gusts picked up. Blue and white flannel shirt man began to sway -- arms flailing -- at the edge of the roof. "He IS overrated," he continued. "He IS." It became clear to me that he felt the wind was a sign from God. A powerful force meant to smite him and he stood there on the edge of the roof firm in his convictions. The wind continued to howl, and he kept going. "He IS, he IS, he IS..." His upper body now hung over the edge and he looked like he was performing the breaststroke in the swimming pool of his creation. The man on the ground, clearly concerned, mumbled something to the effect of, "You might want to get down from there." But the man on the roof enjoyed this too much. He was getting a kick out of battling his brisk, assuming enemy. He was winning.   

The wind slowly died down and blue and white flannel shirt man took two steps back to gather himself. He surveyed the bikes and cars he was overlooking, and I'd have to assume, felt above it all. "I'm so sick of hearing about the goddamn Packers everywhere I turn." He averted his gaze. "9-0 my ass." This man nearly plummeted to his death, and for what? The current is coming to sweep us all away. It's best to trend in its general direction, lay our heads down, and let it take us where it will.

* * *

Let's clearly establish one thing from the get-go: Aaron Rodgers is the best player in the NFL. This is not debatable. It's bad enough I have to hear about how overrated Rodgers is in real life, but then I have to venture onto some Internet hatespeak platform masquerading as a legitimate website, only to hear that Aaron Rodgers isn't even having the most impressive season from a quarterback in the last five years. These propaganda-flingers will have you believe Tom Gay-dy's 2007 season trumps anything Rodgers will do this year. PUH-LEASE. They'll have you believe the rules are so slanted towards modern day offenses that Rodgers' numbers deserve the Roger Maris asterisk treatment. You want to talk about asterisks? Here's one: Randy Gene Moss. Tom Gay-dy simply threw the ball up and allowed Moss in all his gazelle-footed glory to run out and get it. You've seen some of those catches, no? Underthrown, overthrown, ten yards to the right, ten yards to the left, one hand free, no hands free. It didn't matter. Unless a back physically tackled Moss, there was no way he wasn't coming down with the ball. Wes Welker wasn't going to make those catches, folks. Deion Branch wasn't going to make those catches. And Moss accounted for almost half of Brady's 50 touchdown passes that year. LOL. Take Moss off the team and Gay-dy's numbers are looking mad average. Get that shit outta here, bro.

Now I'm supposed to believe Aaron Rodgers has someone of Moss' caliber in Green Bay. Don't get me wrong, Greg Jennings is the most underappreciated receiver in all of football, but Greg Jennings isn't making those catches. Jordy Nelson is a white guy named Jordy and Rodgers is making him look like a beast out there. Rodgers is placing passes so perfectly in between James Jones' hands that he can't even drop them. Donald Driver is 58-years old. McCarthy and Rodgers are drawing up misdirection shovel passes because they look cool on the whiteboard and they want to throw John Kuhn a bone once in a while. I believe in this defense too. They're going to get better because they have Pro Bowlers and they can't get any worse.

I know what you're thinking, Internet stat-geeks. The Packers couldn't possibly go 19-0. There's too much parity in this league. The pressure is too great. The 2007 Gay-triots had the best chance we'll ever see and that ship has sailed. Now Aaron Rodgers is obviously working with a lot less than Gay-dy had, but this should not sway you. This Packers team is light years ahead of what the rest of the league is doing. Look at their remaining schedule. Who's honestly going to beat them? I see you, Internet word-nerds, moisturizing your delicate hands and circling Week 13 against the Giants. LOL. Have you forgotten dum-dum Eli Manning still quarterbacks these New York football Giants? Have you forgotten the wounded ducks Eli is capable of throwing in adverse New York weather conditions? The Giants are going to punt to Randall Cobb -- this year's DeSean Jackson. Tom Coughlin will be tomato-red in the face five minutes in trying to match wits with McCarthy. The Packers might just line-up Ryan Grant at tight end because you never know, and it would give something for future opponents to think about.

It's time for me to address my fellow Bears fans because, quite frankly, some of you are embarrassing in the alcoholic uncle sort of way. Like, I'm embarrassed to even be associated with some of you. All this picking and prodding and advanced statistics and this "They're weak in the secondary!!" garbage takes you back to square one: 9-0. Kiss the ring, watch the throne, whatever. I know I am. How can you honestly watch a Packers game and not take delight in a guy like James Starks? This is a guy who was given nothing. Watch him truck a defensive back and tell me this guy doesn't run with a purpose. I look at the stat sheet and Starks runs for 60 yards and it feels like 150 because his aura, his entire presence on the football field feels magical in a way that a biased Bears fan couldn't understand. How can you watch Rodgers and Jennings execute a perfect 10-yard slant without your eyes getting a little bit watery? I was in the middle of a momentous cry during last night's second quarter and my girlfriend walked in on me. I had to tell her my best friend from childhood died. Car accident. I don't feel good about that one bit, but if you appreciate good football, the Packers are sure to turn you into one of those Miller Lite pussies. 

It would be irresponsible of me to exit before singling out the exemplary performance from the Packer faithful Monday Night. They're the best and most loyal fan base in all of professional sports for a reason and you saw it yesterday. Jared Allen managed to stumble into a few sacks like he's been doing all season and tried the hog tie routine at Lambeau Field. Know one thing: Packers fans will extend a forgiving hand for many things (addiction to painkillers, sexual assault, drunk driving, lean), but a repetitive, unimaginative celebration that isn't called the Lambeau Leap is not one of them. You tried to get gully in front of the most rapid fan base in all of sports Mr. Allen and you got your ass handed to you. Don't ever try it again. 

Did you even know the city of Green Bay owns the Packers? I didn't until yesterday. Pretty neat fact. And this is what truly separates Green Bay from every other NFL city. It's in the blood. Kids are born and their parents immediately put them on the season-ticket waiting list. Never mind that they don't really like football and would rather play the piano -- they're going to go outdoors in -10 degree weather, grill some brats, drink some beer, and toss around the pigskin until their knuckles crack and bleed. There's no choice in the matter. So while Chicago parents are coddling their children and allowing them to "pursue their interests," Green Bay children are being force-fed a beautiful brand of football. Fandom done right if you ask me. And you wonder why Bears fans can't muster up the slightest hint of excitement when leading the Lions by three scores -- little Johnny is too concerned with watercolors and his biology homework.

The Bears and Packers play on Christmas Day this year. The Packers will be 14-0 and the Bears will hopefully have their heads above water! May I be the first to say it's an honor to play such a distinguished franchise in a historic stadium on the holiest of red-blooded American days. The Packers could really wipe the floor with us, but I don't think they will. They have too much respect for the game and its players. They wouldn't send the Bears home to their families on Christmas Day like that. Honor and integrity are two things they teach in Green Bay, dating back to the days of the great Vince Lombardi who lied on his resume to land the Packers job in 1959. Mike McCarthy may purposely lose a timeout on a dumb challenge or James Jones may inexplicably fumble the ball, no one within ten yards of him -- something to keep the game close.

When this season is over we'll be talking about the 2011 Green Bay Packers as the greatest football team of all-time -- 19-0 and three merciless playoff victories because honor and integrity don't apply in the playoffs. Anything less would be a colossal disappointment. Ask Packer fans, they're as confident as anyone. They know how much your team sucks. Can you feel that? It's the current here to sweep you away, Bears fans. Don't fight it. Drift peacefully in the wind unnoticed as the Packers tussle with the lofty expectations they've established for themselves.

Things Easier Than Keeping Calvin Johnson Out of the End Zone

Via Fantasy Tradar

Calvin Johnson used to be the NFL's most sympathetic figure. Exiled to the NFL's barren wasteland and subjected to passes from the likes of Jon Kitna and Dan Orlovsky, Johnson seemed to be a super hero in need of saving. Except he never asked to be saved and sure as hell didn't want our sympathy. In an environment that drove fellow talented wideouts Roy Williams and Charles Rogers mad -- or maybe they just weren't cut out for it from the beginning -- Johnson remained even-keeled and stayed the course. Maybe he knew his 10 offensive teammates would eventually turn in their dunce caps for officially licensed Detroit Lions helmets. Or maybe he figured there was a quarterback out there somewhere who wouldn't underthrow him 15 yards (Kitna) or overthrow him 15 yards (Orlovsky). Johnson knew from the beginning he could catch anything in the vicinity, it was just a matter of finding a quarterback who didn't define "vicinity" as one fifth of the football field.

Through the first four weeks of the 2011 season, Matthew Stafford is healthy and their defense is finally respectable enough to allow the Lions to open up the playbook on offense. Aided by these factors and a pretty weak schedule (it had to be said), the Lions are looking like a team primed for the Playoffs. Calvin Johnson is the most compelling story of the 2011 Lions season, but in a way not usually seen. Statistically, he's having a breakout season, even though his other four seasons were pretty impressive as well. The big difference this year is Johnson seems to be getting his numbers in accordance with the offense, not despite it. The talent has finally caught up around him, and his patience has payed off. Johnson has turned the popular narrative of perseverance upside down -- the belief in an organization against all odds versus the belief in self.  

Johnson has caught two touchdown passes in each of the Lions first four games. It's difficult to envision a situation in which the Bears are unable to stop him from grabbing two more. I present 25 things easier than keeping Calvin Johnson out of the end zone.

***  

Using chopsticks for the first time.

Watching a Fighting Illini game in its entirety and thinking, "I don't care what anyone says, this team deserves to be 6-0."

Spotting Theo Epstein in a Chicago Starbucks.

Doing a quick Google Image search of "Theo Epstein Wife," noticing Epstein's accomplice is not his wife, but you just wanted to out him as the next Cubs GM, not as an adulterer.

Getting high, eating one of everything from the Wendy's dollar menu, claiming your head is not attached to your body, and falling asleep within the hour.

Coming to a thorough understanding of Ghostface Killah's album, "Supreme Clientele."

Getting the icing on the Toaster Strudel to look like it does in the commercial.

Failing to find someone who, in the middle of mid-70s temperature bliss exclaims, "I just LOVE Fall."

Refraining from the "At least we don't live in Detroit" defense mechanism after the Bears lose tonight.

Respecting the hell out of Aaron Rodgers.

Executing a standing back flip in full pads after missing the first three games of the season due to a calf injury.

Watching Gone With the Wind in one sitting.

Enjoying Gone With the Wind.

Passing out drunk on your dorm room floor at 4 in the morning on Sunday and waking up in time to shower, shave, and eat breakfast before your 8 AM Monday class.

Pretending you couldn't stand The Backstreet Boys' Millenium album when it came out.

Answering your child's question with, "Because," because you don't know the answer to your child's question.

Praising Joe Buck for the way he seamlessly juggles NFL and MLB broadcasts year after year.

Convincing yourself your cleavage-bearing waitress is really into you and not just trying to get a better tip.

Reading Joe Posnanski and thinking, "I have what it takes to be a sports writer."

Engaging in a perfectly normal conversation with your boss.

Enjoying the three hours you just spent with your wife at IKEA -- on football Sunday.

Secretly rooting against your favorite team's players in favor of your fantasy team because "Your real team's season is over anyway."

Resisting the urge to buy 30 dartboards, print out pictures of each of the 30 NBA team owners, and tape a different owner's picture to each dartboard.

Resisting the urge to combine Coke and Pop Rocks. If such a beautiful combination is deadly, you don't want to be alive.

Discovering the true source of Calvin Johnson's powers. HINT: Check underneath the skull cap.

Aaron Rodgers: The Giver

I've been thinking long and hard about the upcoming Packers game and have come to one conclusion: Aaron Rodgers did the Bears and their fans a favor. Huh? You're probably thinking. The Bears had the chance to knock the Packers out of the sixth seed by defeating them in Week 17. They instead showcased some vanilla play-calling (even by their standards) and allowed Green Bay to escape with a narrow 10-3 win. You know how the story ends. If anything we did them a favor, last year.

Maybe but we're discussing the now. Let's start with the inevitable. The Packers are going to win on Sunday. They're going to win convincingly, probably by 20+ points. Go ahead and throw out the "but it's always a close game when the Pack come to town" argument. Keep kidding yourself. Chicago's O-Line couldn't pick up a blitz if it was buried comfortably in a litter box. Green Bay likes to blitz, sometimes in odd situations, and is really good at disguising them. As was the case in New Orleans, the Matt Forte checkdown will be the only open receiver Cutler sees all day.

Aaron Rodgers' career numbers against the Bears: 133-194 (69%), 1396 passing yards, 7 TD, 4 INT, 4-2 overall record. Good numbers, especially completion percentage, but not as good as one might expect. Credit the Bears defense for keeping Rodgers relatively human during their six match-ups, but this Sunday feels like the time for a big breakout. I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

So how exactly has Aaron Rodgers done us a favor? He shaved his horseshoe mustache, that's how. Anyone who has followed the Packers recently knows there was always an air of mystery surrounding Rodgers. He inexplicably fell to the bottom of the first round where the Packers snagged him 24th in the 2005 Draft. "He wears oversized clothes," the Green Bay locals gossiped when they saw wander the town. Under the "tutelage" of Brett Favre, no one was sure what exactly Rodgers did. Did he study the playbook? Could he even talk? Rodgers blended in in the way you would expect Brett Favre's back-up to -- he was there, but no one would even notice if he wasn't.

While riding the bench, Rodgers sported shoulder-length hair. He experimented with full beards, goatees, regular old mustaches, and three-day stubble. His willingness to change can be attributed to a lack of identity. He was still trying to find himself. Then again, the entertainment options open to Rodgers in Green Bay were slim. Either play around with his face hair or take up World of Warcraft. He chose the former before settling in on the wholesome Midwestern look after being named the starter. Rodgers is from California.

Watch this:

Rodgers' stat line Sunday : 34-38, 396 yards, 4 TD, 0 INT, 145.2 QB Rating

Class act. Humble. Born Leader. I can't help but respect him. I wish he was on our team.

  

Rodgers' stat line Sunday : 34-38, 396 yards, 4 TD, 0 INT, 145.2 QB Rating

What a fucking douche bag.

The mustache, or lack thereof, is absolutely essential here. Properly-groomed Aaron Rodgers looks like your typical 9-to-5 Subway-sandwich-for-lunch businessman. Respectable. Excellent worker, deserves a promotion but struggles to get noticed because half his floor wears the same red tie. Mustachioed Aaron Rodgers looks like the northern Wisconsin everyman. Send him into the woods with nothing but a Cold Steel 6' Outdoorsman hunting knife and a 18-rack of Miller High Life and he'll come back with dinner and/or a new kitchen ornament. Properly-groomed Aaron Rodgers is the picture of conformity -- the downtown Chicago businessman. Mustachioed Aaron Rodgers embraces being different and shoves his difference in your face. Us Chicagoans laugh at the northern Wisconsin types who claim to be proud of where they're from. God forbid their star quarterback, the best player in the NFL, were to beat us year after year, AND choose to look like one of them in the process. It would be too much to bear.  

While taking in Sunday's game, remember: it could be worse. Mustachioed Rodgers could be be handing out championship belts and blowing the imaginary smoke emanating from his finger gun. "Isn't that the guy from Deadwood?" is a question your wife won't have to ask. Your three-year-old can stop crying because Jay Cutler is doing that thing again where he twitches his right arm and your son thinks Rodgers shot him and Cutler's arm is about to fall off. "It won't hurt if he watches an old episode of The Rifleman with me," you so foolishly thought two weeks ago. Enjoy the game, expect the beatdown, and at least be thankful Aaron Rodgers could find a razor in that god-awful shit stain of a city known as Green Bay.*

*I've never been to Green Bay.

Pick 6: The Super Bowl's Worst

Who am I to complain about the Super Bowl? This year's game drew an estimated 111 million viewers on average, making it the highest rated television event of all time. So obviously the NFL is doing something right.
The problem I have and have always had with the Super Bowl is that it has to cater to such a large audience -- many of which could care less about football. Those of us who follow football religiously are unfortunately force fed with crap such as: a four and a half pregame special, which, among other things aired a video montage likening football to wars and other events that altered America's social and political landscape, witty and creative commercials that are supposedly reason enough to watch the Super Bowl, and a Halftime Show that is sure to blow us away.
As a football fan, I can do without the pageantry, but I understand why it's there.
The game itself was unbelievable. Anytime the Super Bowl comes down to potential game-winning drive, we're in for a treat regardless of the outcome. We saw turnovers and dropped passes that affected the outcome of the game. We saw Ben Roethlisberger get off to a shaky start and then lead his team to a come back. We saw Aaron Rodgers continue his flawless play through out the playoffs. The actual game was everything a neutral observer could ask for. As is most often the case, the Super Bowl is more about the spectacle than the game itself. There were six things that left a sour taste in my mouth.
6) Alex Rodriguez is shown in a luxury suite, being fed popcorn by girlfriend Cameron Diaz. I can imagine most of us reacted the same way. "Oh, look at A-Rod and his 250 million dollars. Can't even feed himself." Or something along those lines. That's because we hate A-Rod. We've all been fed by our girlfriends/wives at least once in our lives (don't lie and say you haven't), just not in a luxury suite at the Super Bowl in front of 110 million people watching on television.
This reminds me of a conversation I once had in a Wrigleyville bar, while waiting in line to use the bathroom.
Me (the guy behind me is wearing a Yankees hat): So you're a Yankees fan?
Him: Yeah. (His response was followed by a few more exchanges between us, but I don't remember them. Sorry, I was drunk).
Him: I'm a fan of the old school Yankees though. Guys like Jeter, Posada, and Rivera.
Me: But those guys still play for them.
Him: Yeah, but they're not A-Rod.
That tells you all you need to know about A-Rod. Despite being one of the best hitters in baseball, and even when playing well, Yankees fans don't even like him. There's no comparable case in any other sport. Only LeBron James could come close, but Heat fans don't hate him. If LeBron were to play for another team in his career, then we would see an A-Rod parallel.
So there was A-Rod doing something ridiculous, let's make fun of him. It was completely warranted, but it really wasn't.

5) The Black Eyed Peas Halftime Performance. This slightly edged out Christina Aguilera's unique rendition of the National Anthem. BEP's halftime show was exactly what I expected, minus their inclusion of "Where Is The Love?" The song is essentially about compassion for your fellow man. It's one of the more heartfelt songs (despite the source) you'll hear on mainstream radio. Meanwhile, BEP delivered the song's message in light-up space suits. I know it's one of their bigger hits, but the time and place for this song was all wrong.
4) Jerry Jones' Luxury Suite. Some of the faces I saw in Jerrah's suite: George and Laura Bush, Jesse Jackson, John Madden, and Condolleeza Rice. Jerry Jones calls that his luxury suite, I call that hell.
3) Aaron Rodgers-Brett Favre Comparisons. These comparisons, while somewhat appropriate two years ago, grew increasingly old and tired this year. Aaron Rodgers has won his first Super Bowl in only his third year as a starter. He's won as many Super Bowls in three years as Brett Favre has in 20. You would think that would end the comparisons but it will only further them. Rodgers has to pass Favre or else we'll keep hearing about it. Favre played way too long, so he'll hold all of the individual accolades over Rodgers -- Super Bowl rings will be the main determinate of who was better. I will say this, with Brett Favre as your quarterback, you knew he was just as capable of losing a game as he was of winning one. With Rodgers, I don't sense that. We're still early in his career, but when has he given the indication of trying to do too much, and hurt his team in the process?
2) The Ticket Debacle. The NFL and Jerry Jones, in an effort to maximize attendance and revenue tried to add about 15,000 seats. Hours before kick-off, 400 fans found out that their tickets were not being honored because they had not passed the safety inspection from fire marshals. As a consolation prize, those turned away were given three times the value of their tickets and tickets to next year's Super Bowl.
Sure that sounds like a fair compromise, except the feeling of seeing your team in the Super Bowl is irreplaceable. Unless Green Bay or Pittsburgh is in the Super Bowl next year -- I mean 2013, the fans come out with the short end of the stick. I really feel for those people, I'd be seething.
1) The Impending Lockout. The Packers should have been given two Lombardi trophies because that's what it's going to feel like. The NFL lockout will strip us of a 2011-12 season, so we'll have a long time to remember this year. Let me recap for Bears fans:
A) The Packers just won the Super Bowl.
B) There will be no football next year.
C) When football resumes, the Packers will have a better team than they did this year.
D) 27 year-old Aaron Rodgers (or Tom Brady) is the best quarterback in the NFL.
E) Rodgers has the Brady-like quality of being able to win with whatever he has to work with. So should key offensive players go down (like this year), or the defense has a major let down (2013), the Packers will still always be in contention.
I'm going to go and play in traffic now.

On To The Next One

On Monday, I wrote a piece vehemently defending Jay Cutler. I argued that the wave of criticism thrown Cutler's way was unfair. The gist of my argument was that veiled behind the talk of MCL sprains, toughness, and body language was really just a critique of Jay Cutler the person -- not Jay Cutler the player.
Simply put, if a quarterback such as Tom Brady or Aaron Rodgers went down with the same injury and reacted the same way on the bench, we would not have seen a national outcry. The consensus on Cutler is that he's a jerk. He doesn't get along with the media and makes very little public effort to endear himself to Chicago Bears fans. Judging by this criteria, quitting on his team seemed like something that our pigeonholed version of Jay Cutler would do. Perception became reality.
I'm all for calling out a player who doesn't seem to be giving maximum effort in the most important game of the season, but this wasn't the case on Sunday. Cutler was sacked 57 times this season. He missed the first game of his career this year because of a concussion he suffered in the Giants game. He took a beating and didn't once complain publicly. He didn't quit then, which is why it's hard for me to believe he would quit now.
It's difficult to criticize a quarterback when his team is winning. Cutler's critics saw an opportunity on Sunday and ran with it. They've wanted to spew this venom for some time now and finally got their chance. The Bears looked in preseason to be a team with 5-11 talent. They finished 11-5, in large part due to Cutler's play. The criticism was unfair, shortsighted, and levied with such force because people don't like Jay Cutler, and they couldn't stand seeing him have success.
That's the short version of what I wrote on Monday. Somehow, the post didn't save and I wasn't able to recover it. Probably just as well, the last thing all of need is another Jay Cutler rambling. Which incidentally, is what I accidentally just gave you.

All we can do now is move on. When your girlfriend dumps you, it's OK to sulk for a week or so, and then you have to find someone new to obsess over. Fortunately for us Chicago sports fans, we can move on to a sexier and more stable woman, who is less likely to drive us up the wall with her inconsistent behavior. I'm of course referring to the Chicago Bulls.
All puns aside, I couldn't wish for a better rebound team. The Bulls are 31-14, hold a 13 game lead in the Central Division, and are only a half a game behind Miami for the 2nd seed in the Eastern Conference. All of this without Noah or Boozer for almost every game this season.
Derrick Rose has been such a joy to watch because he's improved in every area of his game that was considered a weakness last year. He can knock down threes and mid range jumpers, and has punished defenders that have thought otherwise. He's displayed great court awareness, consistently finding  the open man. The difference this year is that his teammates are making more shots and getting wide open looks. The spacing of this year's team is otherworldly in comparison to last year. Rose has also improved defensively. He's nowhere near an elite defender yet, but is no longer a liability. The team as a whole has been bailed out with some great defensive performances this year.
My favorite Rose game was last Thursday against Dallas, even though it was one of his worst shooting nights of the year. Rose went 9-28, a paltry 32 percent from the field. He did a little bit of everything, playing 44 minutes and finishing with 26 points, 9 assists, and 7 rebounds.
Why be so proud of such a poor shooting performance, you ask? Well, I'm glad you asked. This game was a microcosm of what the Bulls season had been up to this point. Rose received no help -- no other Bulls player scored in double figures. He played with a lineup of Ronnie Brewer, Luol Deng, Taj Gibson, and Kurt Thomas for the majority of the game against one of the four best teams in the Western Conference. Dirk wasn't fully recovered from a knee injury and Caron Butler was out for the season, but with the combination of their size and ability to run the floor, this was a game that the Mavericks should have won.
Rose stepped up despite facing double teams all game, shouldered the offensive load, and the Bulls as a team played great defense. It wasn't a pretty 82-77 victory, but a win is a win.
The same can be said for the Bulls season so far. They haven't always looked like an offensive juggernaut, but their defense has kept them in games. They're only going to get better, assuming they're fully healthy when Noah returns in a few weeks. Come March, the Bulls should be hitting their stride -- at the perfect time.
This isn't a bad situation to fall into at all. And on the plus side, Rose will never be accused of quitting on his team.

It Was Only A Matter Of Time

You have to love the NFL. Just when you think the league has been around long enough that nothing new can possibly happen...BOOM...the 2010 NFL Playoffs. To recap, we've seen:
1) The 7-9 Seahawks become the first team in NFL history to make the playoffs with a losing record. Not only that, but they knocked out the defending Super Bowl Champions in the first round.
2) Mark Sanchez tied the record for most career road playoff wins by a quarterback. You read that right. If Sanchez and the Jets win in Pittsburgh on Sunday, the 24 year-old will will have the most career road playoff victories in only the second year of his career.
3) Brady, Manning, and Brees (27 combined playoff wins) are all sitting at home, while Rodgers, Cutler, and Sanchez (7 combined playoff wins) are still playing.
4) More creative uses of the word "foot" than you ever expected. The sport in question is football, after all.
5) Last and most important, the Chicago Bears and Green Bay Packers will meet for only the second time in playoff history. The best rivalry in sports and they've met 182 times up until this point.

Who would have thought that in 2011, we'd see the most important game of the most important rivalry in the NFL. Sure, the 1941 meeting  was just as meaningful at the surface. That game served the same purpose that the NFC Championship will. But let's not forget two crucial points. First, there were ten NFL teams in 1941. It was hardly as much of an accomplishment to make it to the NFL Championship in 1941 than it is to make it to the Super Bowl in 2011. Second, the NFL in 1941 was robbed of plenty of potential talent. Black players, despite playing in the late 1920s and early 1930s were basically refused by owners in the 1940s, who agreed under the table to bar them from competition. The US was also just entering World War II and shipping over potential NFL players to Europe and the Pacific. Not to mention, professional football wasn't a lucrative job back then. Many former college football players were better off finding work elsewhere than continuing their football career.
So this is clearly the biggest game of the storied rivalry, but how did a Green Bay-Chicago playoff game of this magnitude not happen sooner? Let's break down the different phases of the NFL playoffs beginning in 1933.

1933-1966 - The NFL is split into two divisions. The teams with the best record in each division face off for the NFL Title. Imagine if we just let the Patriots and Falcons play in the Super Bowl this year. Thank God for expansion.
If two teams finished with the same record atop the division, then they played each other to see who would go to the NFL title game. This is exactly what happened in 1941. The Bears and Packers both finished with a 10-1 record and battled for the opportunity to take on the 8-3 New York Giants in the title game. The Bears won 33-14 and went on defeat the Giants 37-9 for the title.
It's amazing to think that such an improbable scenario led to the only playoff meeting of these two teams.
1967-1969 - The NFL splits into four divisions -- two in each conference. The two division winners in the same conference face each other. The two winners of these match ups play each other in the Super Bowl. The Bears and Packers are in the same division, and a tie atop the division was broken through a series of tie-brokers, not a game. This era would mark the only time in NFL playoff history when it was impossible for the Bears and Packers to meet in the playoffs.
1970-1978 - The AFL and NFL merge, leading to an expanded playoff format. The NFL is now composed of three divisions in each conference. The playoffs are composed of eight teams, the three division winners, and a wild card from each conference. The Bears and Packers never make the playoffs in the same year during this era.
1979-1989 - The NFL expands to a ten team playoff format. Still three division winners, but an extra wild card from each conference is added. The two wild card teams take part in what is basically a play-in game. The winner faces the number 1 seed, while the 2 and 3 seeds face each other. The Bears and Packers do not make the playoffs in the same year during this era either.
1990-2001 - The NFL expands to a 12 team playoff format. Still three division winners, but now three wild cards from each conference. The Bears and Packers now qualify for four of the potential six playoff spots, the best odds they'd ever had to meet in the playoffs up to this point, and best odds they've had since.
Not surprisingly they would both make the playoffs in the 1994-95 season, and the 2001-02 season. In 1994, both teams earned a wild card berth, Packers were the four seed and the Bears the six seed. They both won their opening round game and both lost their second round game, squashing a potential NFC Championship match-up.
In 2001, the Bears won the NFC Central and earned the two seed, while the Packers earned the four seed as the top wild card team. The Packers won their opening round game before falling to the number one seeded Rams in the divisional round. The Bears would lose to the Eagles, also in the divisional round, again preventing a possible Bears-Packers NFC Championship game.
2002-Present - The NFL realigns to four divisions per conference, with each division winner making the playoffs, as well as two wild card teams from each conference. Viola! The playoff format that we know today. This is the first year in this era that the Bears and Packers have made the playoffs the same year, and the 60 year anniversary of their first playoff match-up.

So that's how we got here. I'm not even going to attempt an explanation of what's about to ensue, keys to the game, who has an advantage where, or who is going to win. I don't know any of that and won't pretend to. I just have three thoughts.

1) It's fascinating to watch the Rodgers-Cutler contrast unfold. When Cutler was dealt to the Bears two years ago, onlookers gushed about a possible rivalry with him and Rodgers for the next ten years. Then Cutler had a poor 2009 season and it came to light that the two were actually good friends. The possibility of a good rivalry, or at least the kind that the media and fans wanted was pretty much dead.
Here we are in 2011 and each quarterback's public perception is beginning to take shape. Rodgers is the media darling for various reasons. He was commended for the way he's handled the Favre saga. He's played extremely well, to the point where Green Bay fans don't miss Favre even a little bit -- something I would have thought to be impossible three years ago.
Rodgers is also playing out of his mind. Every quarterback has their defining "I'm Here" moment. Rodgers has already played his way into the elite level of quarterbacks, he just needed the stage to show it to the world. What better way than to outshine Brady, Manning, and Brees in the playoffs (check) and lead his team to a Super Bowl victory (gulp). The stars seem to be aligning for Green Bay, and in two years or less, Aaron Rodgers will be regarded as the top quarterback in the NFL.
Then there's Jay Cutler. Rick Reilly wrote a not so flattering piece about him last week. There's nothing new here. Denver fans could have told you this five years ago, and Bears fans two years ago. It actually helped Reilly more than it hurt Cutler. No one under the age of 50 even knew Rick Reilly was still writing -- except for the people who noticed Reilly's miniature head on the ESPN.com front page while they were checking for Bill Simmons' column.
The point I'm trying to make is that Cutler's perceived douchiness could be just the element that this rivalry needs. Everybody loves Rodgers! He's the People's Champ. Just look at the way he shines his imaginary title belt after every touchdown.
Who likes Cutler? No one. Not even Bears fans. If NFL fans outside of Denver and Chicago were indifferent towards Cutler before, they sure won't be now that Cutler has the chance to win a Super Bowl. Look at the demeanor of the beloved Super Bowl winning quarterbacks Brady, Manning, and Brees. All are perceived as class acts, hard workers, great teammates, and leaders. In other words, their public perceptions are flawless. If he isn't included already, Rodgers fits the criteria for this club.
Cutler is the spoiled brat with bad body language. He'll curse out a referee or call out a teammate before he places the blame on himself, and his greatest contribution as a leader this year has been high-fiving his teammates after a successful PAT.
This rivalry has potential, even if they do like each other. Let us fans pretend.
2) Let me be the 11,765,093th person to comment on how improbable it is for the Bears and Packers to be in the NFC Championship game. The Packers have suffered a career-ending injury at seemingly every position this year -- including two Aaron Rodgers' concussions. I'm beginning to think Rodgers is just that good. It doesn't matter who you put out there with him -- he'll find a way to win.
Here's an underrated subplot of this year's Packers. I think most Packers fans assume that if this is what they're doing with a bunch of back-ups, imagine what next year will be like when everyone is healthy! This is the NFL and it usually doesn't work that way. I'm just going to pull up a seat and watch the slow burn of disappointment come next year.
The Bears have provided the blueprint for a roller coaster season. Very few people had high hopes for them at the start of the season. Then they pulled off three straight wins, two of them against the Packers and Cowboys, who were considered the two best teams in the NFC at the time. We started to believe, and then the Giants game brought us back to the team we were expecting to see this year. Add in losses to the Seahawks and Redskins and the season looked to be imploding before our eyes. Then a five game winning streak, including a win against the Eagles, the hottest team in the NFL at the time. It was that game that I think people started to believe (again).
The Bears are still underdogs as they've been all season. I like that. I like that the Packers have already been crowned Super Bowl champions. Nevermind that they have to play in Chicago against the only team (besides the possible Super Bowl foe New York Jets) who have shown the ability to stop their offense. A team has never and will never ride the wave of luck all the way to the Conference Championship game. These teams are more even than anyone is willing to acknowledge.
3) That being said, I'm admitting that this game makes me nervous. It's the most nervous I've ever been before a sporting event in my life. It's only Monday. You probably won't get a Packers or Bears fan to admit it, but the nervousness is resting somewhere in the back of their brain and will come out a little bit more each day. It's not that each fan base doesn't think they will win -- they just know there's always the possibility they won't.
I'm normally a proponent of "The bigger the game, the worse the loss," theory. For instance, some would say after losing the Super Bowl, "Well, at least we made it to the Super Bowl." Not me. Losing the Super Bowl is the worst kind of loss because you got so close. But not in this case. Losing to the Packers, knowing they could win the Super Bowl would hurt ten times more than losing the Super Bowl for the second time in five years. The thought will cross every Green Bay and Chicago fan between now and Sunday. Millions of people will be too ashamed to leave their house come 5:30 Sunday evening.

Thoughts On Bears-Packers MNF Game

In hindsight, this game didn't teach us much of anything. Both teams can't run the ball (we knew that). Rodgers makes better decisions than Cutler (ditto). Lovie Smith and Mike McCarthy are terrible about managing the clock/using challenges. And penalties, especially committed in excess, can cost you a game. Who knew!
If we did learn one thing it's that everyone's favorite preseason Super Bowl pick has quite a few issues:
1) The First Obvious Issue: no viable option at running back behind Ryan Grant. Fullback John Kuhn (6 carries) split time with Grant's back up Brandon Jackson (7 carries). They combined for a whopping 43 yards.
2) The Second Obvious Issue: OK, 18 penalties is an aberration. But it does make for cool stats like, the Packers had more penalties than rushing attempts. They won't commit 18 or probably anywhere near that many penalties again this year, but the penalties only mask bigger issues.
Everything I've read has said the Packers beat themselves. It's the cliche thing to say when a team commits a ton of penalties and loses a close game. I'm also guilty of uttering that very sentence. But there's a difference in penalties. Penalties like roughing the quarterback and late hits are stupid penalties that would fall under the "beating yourself category."
While the Packers had their fair share of those, the majority of their penalties were pass interference and either holding or false start calls. Those pass interference calls weren't bail outs. The Bears receivers were just too fast. The Packers secondary has thrived over the years by being physical with teams at the line of scrimmage, and it's hard to be physical with a guy when he's running right by you with 4.4 speed. Woodson and Co. couldn't keep up so they had to result to grabbing their man all game.
On the same note, it was amazing to see how terrified the Packers O-Line was of Peppers. The Bears moved Peppers to both the left and right side, and he created havoc from both sides all game. At least five or six of those penalties from the O-Line were the result of either holding Peppers or false starts because they were worried about his pass rush.
While his impact hasn't shown up in the stat books, Peppers has been as impressive as any Bear this year. Just by suiting up he gives this defense an entirely new dimension. He was in the Packer's heads after the first series.
3) When their fantastic linebackers are neutralized by either forcing them to cover a tight end, or picked up while blitzing, this defense gets exposed. The Bears did a pretty good job of handling the defensive line and did an excellent job of neutralizing their linebackers. The Packers depend on their linebackers to provide pressure. If they don't, the corners are left out to dry, and that's not a good thing for this weak secondary.
The Bears aren't without their own issues. Jay Cutler was their leading rusher with 37 yards. The rest of the Bears combined for 40 yards. It's no secret that the Bears are going to rely heavily on the pass this year. 56 percent of the Bears plays were through the air, and if they had the ball longer, that number would have probably been up in the 60s. It's going to be tough to win consistently if Forte can't muster anything with about 20 carries a game.  

Here's something interesting to consider. If you had the choice of one linebacking core for just this year, would you choose the Bears or Packers? The Packers trio obviously have the youth on their side, but I'm not going to be the one that bets against a rejuvenated Urlacher and Briggs (who I still think is the most underrated defensive player in the league despite being selected to the last five Pro Bowls).
Urlacher and Briggs' joint effort to wrap up James Jones and force the ball out, which eventually led to the game winning field goal, was a thing of beauty. Fantastic individual efforts by the both of them. Yeah, this year, I'm choosing them.
By the way, that's why I love football. James Jones, who up until that fumble had four quiet catches for 43 yards, ended up costing his team the game. Jones was lucky the penalty total was so high or his head would be on a platter.
Two last thoughts. With the increased popularity of fantasy sports, there's three plays that every fantasy owner hates. From least painful to most:
3) Fantasy Baseball - an intentional walk. Increases the WHIP, usually just adds to a high WHIP inning.
2) Fantasy Basketball - a half court shot at the end of the quarter. Half the time a player just half asses a quarterback like throw and it decreases shooting percentage just like a missed mid range jumper.
1) Fantasy Football - a last minute heave from a quarterback that ends in an interception, resulting in minus one point. I'm watching Urlacher just trying to knock Rodgers' hail mary down and see Briggs pick off the deflection at the end of the half and can't help but laugh.
I was reading Twitter Monday morning, which I've been doing way too much of lately, and Jerry Azumah said that he had a dream that Hester would return one in tonight's game. I usually don't take what Azumah says seriously because he kind of comes off like a 35 year old who used to be in a cool frat and still thinks he's a part of it even though he graduated 15 years ago. Anyway, for some reason, I had this weird feeling that Azumah might be right about this one.
Had Hester avoided the punter he would have returned one earlier and I thought that was the best chance he'd have.
When he took the third punt to the house I couldn't believe it. That coupled with the bend but don't break defense and inept offense, and it felt like the glory days of 2006.
Maybe we did learn one more thing from this game: when the Bears and Packers play, throw everything you know out the window. How's that for cliche.

Quarterbacks Trump Bears-Packers Rivalry

Chicago sports fans aren't the most forgiving in the world (Steve Bartman, anyone?), but there's a strange aura of redemption floating around the city these days. Not that long ago, I wrote, before the season even started, about how pessimistic I was about this season. Most Bears fans agreed with me.
We heard about how Cutler was going to limit his turnovers, how Mike Martz was going to turn the offense around, and how the defense would return to form. We heard this and saw none of it come to fruition during the preseason. We weren't going to buy into the hype and be fooled for a third straight year.
That is, until the third week of the season.
The city of Chicago has turned into believers once again. A referee's interpretation of a rule earned us a victory against the 0-2 Lions, and a road win against a 0-2 Cowboys team that no one knows what to make of, and all of a sudden, we're legit.
I wouldn't go that far. This Monday night Packers game will go a long way in determining if the Bears can compete for a playoff spot, but it will not make or break their season.
A lot of people are forgetting the Packers have some issues of their own. They just lost running back Ryan Grant for the year, and had a suspect offensive line even before that. Outside of Woodson, their secondary is a liability. Basically, they're overly dependent on their front 7 providing pressure, and Rodgers running for his life to make plays.

I know, Green Bay is a sexy Super Bowl pick early in the season, but I wouldn't be surprised if games later in our schedule (Dolphins, Patriots, Jets) end up being tougher games. How the Bears play against those teams will cement their playoff chances.
Besides the obvious fact that this is the NFL's best rivalry, and a division game between two teams with postseason expectations, this match up just became a whole lot more interesting because of the play of Jay Cutler and Aaron Rodgers.
I still don't know what to think of Cutler. Is this the year he finally breaks out and takes on a leadership role, or has he simply feasted on two mediocre secondaries to start the year? I will say this. I've always hated Jay Cutler, going back to his Denver days. I hated his body language, I hated the way he quit on his team, and I hated the way he refused to take responsibility for his or the offense's mistakes.
But, to quote myself, "I'm not above rooting for a dousche bag."
Remember when Cutler was traded to the Bears and the way the media was hyping the Rodgers-Cutler match-up? It was supposed to be an epic division battle between two young quarterbacks for the next ten years. This may be the year when comparing them isn't laughable.
In the first two games of the season, I've noticed two things from Cutler that I thought I'd never see.
1) First game against the Lions, and running back Matt Forte makes a spectacular catch in the end zone to put the Bears up 19-14 with 1:32 left in the game. Forte lands awkwardly and stays down for a few minutes. Cutler makes his way down the field and checks on Forte while the rest of the team heads to the bench. Cutler was the only player, along with the training staff there while Forte was being treated. Last season, this doesn't happen.
2) Two things in the Cowboys game. First, Cutler was rushed out of the pocket and knocked down so many times in the first quarter that I expected him to give up and mail it in for the rest of the game. He didn't.
Second, after throwing either his second or third touchdown pass, I think it was his third, he jumps into offensive lineman Frank Omiyale's arms. If Cutler tried to do that last year, I'm pretty sure his lineman would have body slammed him to the ground.
The point being, that we all know Cutler is a highly skilled football player. The big questions about him are his attitude and leadership ability. For the first two games of the season, that stuff doesn't seem to be an issue.
Rodgers, on the other hand, sat behind Favre for three years, didn't complain when Favre skipped camp and announced he was coming back, and took on a leadership role immediately after taking over three season ago. He even wears the same type of chin strap Favre does.
This game has the potential to be the first game of many that pits the division's two best quarterbacks against each other. The Bears and Packers have been playing each other for 89 years, these games need a rivalry within a rivalry.