The Romo Years

Many people have theorized as to why we watch sports. Not just our favorite teams, but all teams, all the time. What possesses people to watch portions of every NFL game on Sunday? Or the NCAA tournament in its entirety, featuring teams and players they've never heard of. So many games, most of which we won't remember even a couple months after they happen. The popular answer to this question seems to be: to see the unexpected. It never ceases to amaze how many new things can happen in a sporting event that has been played millions of times -- take the last day of baseball season, for example. As sports fan, we want to see moments like that, moments that will probably only happen once in our lifetime. In order to see these type of moments, we sit through hours of uneventful games to make sure we don't miss anything.

But these moments don't always have to be of the spectacular ilk. It's not talked about enough, but I think a lot of people watch sports to see failure too. Not just the rival team or a particular player, but teams or players who seem to be prone to failing. This is why I think Tony Romo is good and necessary for sports. He's a polarizing player that shouldn't be polarizing. He's a hated athlete that, unless you're a Dallas Cowboys fan, shouldn't really be hated. He's judged either too fairly or too harshly and is the sole reason for a Cowboys' win or loss. He tight-ropes the line between good and bad better than any current athlete in professional American sports. It's fun to watch Tony Romo because he's going to give us those coveted spectacular moments, and also because it shuffles us one game, or even one quarter closer to one of his ultimate meltdowns.

Romo seems to be a good guy. He's never in trouble off the field, he's never ran into the stands and punched someone, and he's never insinuated that sports fans were jealous and miserable people. From what I gather, Tony Romo is hated because he's talked about often. Someone so prone to failing, I think, in the minds of many sports fans, doesn't deserve the time of day. Then there's the other side, who feel Romo is unfairly targeted for his team's failures. It's true that quarterbacks tend to receive the brunt of the blame regardless, but these people look for reasons to bash Romo. For instance, a three interception day could be interpreted as trying to make something out of nothing (an exceptional will to win), rather than fucking up and blowing his team the game. Both sides have an argument, of course.

Tony Romo played one of his quintessential games against the Lions last week. He moved the Cowboys offense down the field at will, connecting with Dez Bryant for Dallas' two touchdowns in the first half, and a third to Jason Witten three minutes into the second half. The Cowboys were up 27-3 and it looked to be a route. It looked to be a route, but those who have watched Tony Romo know better. He promptly threw a Pick-6 on the very next drive. But this Pick-6 was almost too good to be true. The defender was linebacker Bobby Carpenter, current Lion, former Cowboy, and a groomsman in Romo's wedding. Something like this could only happen to Tony Romo and serves to further the mythology surrounding his collapses. Romo throws another Pick-6 on the very next possession and you know where this is going. The Lions are back in the game, score a couple touchdowns of their own, Romo throws another pick at the end of the game and the Cowboys lose. Romo's final line: 34-47, 331 yds, 3 TD, 3 INT, 86.4 QB Rating -- all of his good work in the first half negated.

Performances like this are why Romo can navigate his way through any realm and remain compelling. He can be whatever you want him to be. Use the "Nickname Test" to further this point. Some nicknames could only work for certain players, think Dennis "The Worm" Rodman or William "Refrigerator" Perry. There is nothing distinct about Tony Romo. He's exceptionally good and bad. Here are six random things I just thought of:

Officer Krupke
Hydrogenated Fish Oil
Love Potion No. 9
Stay Gold, Ponyboy
The River Kwai
Anschluss

All six of these could conceivably be nicknames for Tony Romo. Think of six nicknames of your own and they will work just as well. Isn't this what Romo is all about? He cannot be packaged and sold to the masses in the form of a cute, all-encompassing moniker. Pepsi Max used Romo as their spokesperson and failed because they tried to capitalize on his tendency to make mistakes. The commercial was meant to be absurd and came off as plausible:  



In an age where labels are slapped on players seemingly from Day One, Romo defies all categorization. This is what makes him such a compelling sports figure. Dissecting Tom Brady's dominance eventually becomes boring, as does cracking on the futility of the 1990s Clipper teams. Romo keeps us on our toes, with him, there will always be something to talk about and something to see. Fittingly, none of us know what he is yet -- we just know his teams are going to lose when it matters.