Monday, September 19, 2011

The One-Man Cover Band, Tips Not Included

Matt Forte carried the literal and figurative load on Sunday. He caught 53 percent of Chicago's completed passes, ran for 80 percent of their carries, and accounted for a staggering 67 percent of the Bears' total offense. Forte also cooked pancakes in the morning, delivered personalized wake-up calls to his 52 teammates and drove the team bus to the Superdome. He was planning on returning kicks, but Devin Hester is so damn stubborn (and conscious of the record-book). 

There's nothing left for Forte but to get paid. NFL football is a business, as we're told, and one of the most brutal. For every 30-million dollar guaranteed contract there are hundreds of over-performing players working for, let's suspend basic human judgement and call them "pennies." The risk of career ending injury is higher than any other major American sport by a wide margin. Contracts are not guaranteed and the average running back lasts 2.57 years in the league. Management wants the best value (i.e. cheap labor) and players want long-term security. 

Watching Forte on Sunday, I couldn't help but feel like he was being run into the ground. It was not Martz's intention to run 70 percent of the offense through one player, it just happened to work out that way. Each carry, each reception, and especially each hit takes its toll. Thousands of potential running backs are waiting in the wings. The sad reality of an NFL player, especially a running back, is that the second he earns a starting job, his team is scouring the scene for his potential replacement -- better sooner than later. Forte shoulders the offensive load, and a whole lot more than that.

In order to bring a little light to his contract situation, Forte had a talk with Bulls back-up power forward Taj Gibson -- another young player whose production and compensation don't match. Joakim Noah makes a special guest appearance.    



"Sup, Taj?"


"Uh, do I know you?"


"It's me, Matt. Matt Forte. Chicago Bears running back."


"I see you went ahead and shaved your head there."


"Yeah. You like it?"


"Hmm, how do I...We look kind of alike, bro."


"I know! I modeled my new look after you. Your dunk over D. Wade in the Playoffs -- Nothing short of inspirational."


"This was kind of my thing."


"Did somebody say THING?!?!"


"Wait...Ya'll some twins. Hehehe."


"Leave him alone, Joakim. He's going through a really rough time right now. The Bears front office won't renegotiate his contract. He's only making 600 grand this year."


"600?!?! Get the fuck outta here. Should I tell him what Booz made last year?"


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO."


"Even Scal made over a mil. I have to tell him that."


"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. THAT'S EVEN WORSE."


"Man, between the guaranteed contracts, lack of serious head trauma, and the ability to walk after our career is over, we make out pretty good."


"What are you guys saying over there?"


"Oh, nothing."


"Nothing. Nothing at all. I like the new look, by the way."


"Alright, well I gotta run. Martz is designing 1200 new plays for Green Bay and I'm the number one option in all of them." 

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