Joakim Noah joined Twitter last week very unceremoniously. Word slowly trickled out and at the time of me writing this, Noah had amassed just over 18 thousand followers. His profile reads "Stick stickity" and he has composed a single tweet, simply reading: "General Tso." This is the out-of-context babble that has fueled so many funny Twitter accounts over the years. What is General Tso? The chicken, one assumes, or could Joakim be a Chinese military history buff? We'll never know because athletes do not have to explain tweets unless they are offensive. It's better that way to leave some things up to the imagination.
Noah has been one of the few players the basketball fans on Twitter have been clamoring for. He's a weird guy, weird enough that he'd probably have something interesting to say. And unpredictable, as in inventing a new and elaborate form of celebration midway through the season for no reason whatsoever. His Twitter ceiling is somewhere between Gilbert Arenas-like tangents and accidentally tweeting a picture of his weed a la Micheal Beasley.
"General Tso." has stood alone since February 22, making it a full week since Joakim last tweeted. At this point, his account seems like a cruel trick meant to squash every last bit of anticipation we had for this day. Noah may never decide to tweet again, in which case, his experiment would still be a strange success, but if he does, here are some possible ideas for his second tweet.
Looking like une petite fete. How u
Breakfast Burrito.
Just complimented Thibs on his polo shirt. He made me run suicides.
Gator Boyz!!! Go see Ahmad at 7th and 112
@KingJames Nice All star game bro lol
@KingJames @DwyaneWade @chrisbosh Ya'll looking real Hollywood from where i'm tweeting
The vengeance was mine. the pleasure was all mine.
Subway Fresh Fit Meal.
If i'm stopped at a Traffic light, can I be a traffic cone?
Six steps. One step. red step blue step
We caught John Lucas napping. twitpic.com/1o8y9
Hey, I just added you to my Mafia family. You should accept my invitation! :) Click here: http://pmw.es/1se87
SOAKING WET. RT @swirsk054: Noah bringing out the guns and they are WET
Pop pop pop booyakasha
Stop. Just Stop. Like They'd Trade Me.
Fine thanks for asking. RT @JimmyRunsTrains: How's your sister doing?
You're spiritual plain. Get on my spiritual plane.
the real poet remains calm and lies within us.
Haha i just autographed me third pair of tits. TODAY
Only u can hold u back. It broke the camel's straw after all.
Malted Milk.
Ima keep shooting.
John lucas throws up some funny looking shots. RT @ChiBullsRox23: Who's the funniest guy on the team?
These were awful. RT @RenaissanceFan: Some Ideas For @JoakimNoah Second Tweet therenaissanefan.blogspot.com/...
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