Showing posts with label Jeremy Lin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeremy Lin. Show all posts

Monday, March 12, 2012

The Jeremy Lin Q & A With Bob Dylan

"The Answer My Friend, Is Blowin' Lin The Wind."


What are your thoughts on Jeremy Lin, Bob? Linsanity. He's causing quite a stir in the States, we hear.

Linsanity? Linsanity? C'mon man. I don't know anything about a Linsanity, man. Would you ask The Beatles that question.? Well, would you?

I'm genuinely curious. The people in London have been fascinated by this story. We've never heard anything like it. Who would you liken Lin's rise to?

Jeremy Lin moved at his own speed, man. He rolled down the broad highway as the milkmen were sleeping. He built the machine too and by the time everyone figured it out they wanted to know his secret. And he was using the same tools that the artist before him neglected. It was more about what the free mind could see.

Many basketball fans have been skeptical of Lin's impressive numbers. Is there any way he can keep up this production?

Could Ezra Pound write couplets? Or better, would the blind man volunteer to scorch Ezra's lawn with his own rake. Men will chase the flashing lights in the distance, given the beauty of the light. Only to find out the light is the spark of the rifle and the rifle is the Bill of Rights.

How much of Linsanity can be attributed to his race? Does race play a factor in the way we perceive an athlete's ability to succeed?

Does it matter if the spaceship is Russian? Would you soak your father's boots in communist waters? The young virgin will unknowingly pick the poisonous flowers as the horrified audience looks on. It's all worthless, man. It's made up is what it is. We've all been fooled and the biggest dupes are those sitting alone in a dark room with the pillow over their heads.

Is Jeremy Lin really an underdog? He's been on an NBA roster the last two years and is an Ivy League graduate. His is not the typical profile of the down-and-out.

No one thought Fidel Castro could do it either. People want to see it one way and then are unable to see it the other. Age is a fixed race. Experience is cruise control. In Cambridge, do you think Jeremy Lin did what they always said? Take this test, take that one, and meet this recruiter, you'll need to know his name when you graduate. You'll need to drink the water without the sugar. He still found a way to hoist up 500 jump shots. The most difficult tests are the ones without a time limit.

What role has the media played in the shaping of Lin's narrative? What has this story revealed about the power of the media?

The downtrodden shake hands with the curious youth and are still not fit to wash the politician's hands. Rivers of blood appear red when your loved ones trudge through puddles to get to work. I'd leave with her but I'd also leave without her, not wanting to hurt her, of course. Judgement is bestowed upon everyone. It depends on whom you place the label of "God." Pass that man his umbrella. It's raining and he hasn't a jacket.

How would you characterize the American public's reaction to Lin?     

What else is there to write about, man. Who are you with anyway? You're just buying your time. Waiting for Time Magazine or the Washington Post to call.

You think lowly of me and my profession, I see. I'll have you know I work very hard at my craft. 


That very well may be, man. Don't let me deter you. You can be whatever you want to be. I believe you. You can conversate with Shakespeare in a New Orleans cafe while wearing a three-piece suit. I'm sure the deer and the antelope will be impressed with your stapler and your no. 2 pencil. Allen Ginsberg would hate you, man. Have you ever even known a real poet, man? A poet who recognizes the faulty logic of the moving sky?

Do you think Lin will ever be able to coexist with Amar'e and Carmelo?


Geese never fly alone. I've skimmed through the Bible, you know. I've thrown a baseball off the tallest building. I've shoveled dirty snow. Jeremy Lin needs the time and respect only present in his mind. He needs to find the elusive Allen wrench and tune the water clock. When he completes that everything should fall into place. He'll sing songs to the oak trees and pass the golden staff to his grandfather.

Monday, February 27, 2012

The Dunks They Should Have Done

The 2012 Dunk Contest marks the first time in history basketball fans have agreed on something. The people have spoken and the Ciroc Sprite-sponsored event was a colossal failure. Fans have rightly complained about the unnecessary pageantry of the whole thing, dependence on props, and the general lack of creativity. Some have already dubbed it the worst Dunk Contest of all-time and would rather see the event scrapped altogether.

I like the Dunk Contest. Vince Carter in 2000 made me fall in love with the event. The same unbridled joy I experienced as a 13-year-old is what I want for this generation. Older folks remember Spud Webb, or the Jordan-Dominique duel. My generation has Vince Carter. Maybe Blake Griffin jumping over a Kia qualifies, I don't know, but I believe players can do better. I'm disappointed this year's contest turned out poorly, so naturally, I have some suggestions. The ideas from this year's participants were there. They slightly failed from an execution standpoint. A wrinkle here and a wrinkle there and we're talking about potentially the greatest Dunk Contest of all-time. These are the dunks they should have done.

CHASE BUDINGER 

Chase Budinger's first dunk featured Diddy for no reason. The White Men Can't Jump concept was brilliant, only to be brought down by Diddy's antics. I know All-Star Weekend caters (or is trying to cater) to the same demographic as the BET Awards, but Diddy's inclusions was still puzzling. Aside from payed a shitload of money to plug his new television network, his appearance, and plea for the predominately white crowd to raise a fist for Black Power, got away from the theme. Budinger should have jumped over someone else for his first dunk -- the one and only Rosie Perez.



Perez played Gloria, Woody Harrelson's girlfriend in White Men Can't Jump and is currently available for work. She's waiting around for Law and Order to call, why not make her part of the Dunk Contest? She still looks as good as she did in 1992. They could have dressed her up in an Orlando 2012 outfit or if they wanted to go the extra mile for their sponsors, splash a big Sprite logo across her breasts. VIEWERS WOULD NOTICE.

JEREMY EVANS

Evans' second dunk was the event's best. Teammate Gordon Hayward sat on a chair and threw two balls in the air. Evans leaped over Hayward, caught both balls in mid-air and slammed them home. Great dunk but it could have been better. We've all known about Evans' supernatural leaping ability all-season, despite never having seen him play. This was the time to unleash his all-word hops. Instead, we saw him jump over a seated Hayward and 4'8 comedian Kevin Hart. Evans needed to do more here, but how could he?

Evans is a guy who can jump OUT of the gym. Under no circumstances should he be constrained by a stadium's parameters. He should have taken this one outside, right around the corner to Universal Studios.



Excellent sponsorship opportunity, a space to accommodate more fans, and most importantly, an obstacle that allows Evans to showcase his true leaping ability. What's not to like? Gordon Hayward will still have a place to sit and throw the balls up since it's sooooo important that a teammate be involved for one of the dunks.

PAUL GEORGE

George was the early favorite to win the contest, and still could have, if not for a costly mistake. His tribute to Pacers' President of Basketball Operations Larry Bird was an excellent one. George stuck a sticker of Bird's face on the backboard with his left hand while following through with a right-handed dunk. He attempted this dunk third, but should have made it his second one. He needed to use the Bird sticker on his first try since he wasn't going to convert anyway. For his second try, instead of another sticker, George could have stuck a light switch on the backboard.



The light switch could have been a precursor to his glow-in-the dark dunk he then would have attempted third. George turns on the lights midway through his glow-in-the dark dunk so viewers could have actually seen it, as opposed to what we did see:



DERRICK WILLIAMS

Williams was the fourth name on a list the casual NBA fan couldn't pick out of a lineup. We all know the most popular participant has an advantage over his competitors. Blake Griffin won two years ago before the contest even started. Williams had a perfect opportunity to increase his name recognition and didn't seize it. His teammate Ricky Rubio has captured the imagination of basketball fans across the world. Williams needed to wear a Rubio mask to trick some of the voters.



Suddenly Williams is the favorite. The crowd gets behind him and we'd finally have the answer to the age-old question: What would it look like if Ricky Rubio threw a lob to a bigger Ricky Rubio? For good measure, Williams could have sported a Spanish gaucho hat and dunked while being chased by a bull -- thereby directing some of the ethnic humor away from Jeremy Lin for a while. Give the kid a rest.   


The Dunk Contest is fine. Some tinkering here and there and we're back in business. We're still going to watch next year regardless.