Peter Crouch Photo Tribute

Yesterday brought the somber news of Peter Crouch's departure. Crouch, along with Wilson Palacios are headed to Stoke City. The news appeared imminent given Crouch's lack of goal-scoring last year and Spurs' acquisition of Emmanuel Adebayor. Crouch's departure is probably a welcome sign for many fans, but a sad moment for me personally. Crouch is actually one of the reasons I began rooting for Spurs.

I dove into the Premier League last year unaccustomed to the waters. Save for the popular teams and players, I didn't know anything. Being American, and thus free of any ties to a particular team, area, or the sport itself, I decided to choose a team at random to root for. Two factors impacted my decision making: No Manchester United, Chelsea, or Arsenal -- I didn't want to support one of the smug powerhouses that feel it's their right, not privilege, to win the title every year. Second, I wanted to recognize some of the players on the team I rooted for, meaning they had to have competed in the World Cup.

I first saw Crouch in the 2006 World Cup, and like most people, was struck by how unusual he looked. Nothing seemed to make sense about a 6'7 skin-and-bones soccer player. As I began to understand, height is particularly useful on set pieces and seeking out crosses in the box in general. This is what Crouch excelled at -- finding the ball in the air. But more than anything, Crouch appealed to my still-developing soccer sensibilities. To my untrained eye, soccer just seemed like a silly sport. A lot of kicking the ball in the air, few shots, and even fewer scoring opportunities. Guys blatantly took dives and this seemed to be an accepted part of the game. I had trouble understanding the laissez faire attitude towards when and where free kicks and throw-ins occurred, and how stoppage time boiled down to a judgement call.

Crouch embodied the silliness I came to expect from a soccer game. He was a head taller than everyone, as awkward athletically as his appearance suggested. Yet, somehow he always managed to find the goal. For all the success Crouch has had in his career, his legacy will be defined by how goofy he looked doing everything, and that's why I love him. Here is a photo tribute to the one and only Peter Crouch.

Crouch at the age of 18. All former and current teenagers can relate to that awkward stage growing up. Fortunately for us, Crouch never grew out of his.

Crouch's predictably-titled Walking Tall: My Story can be had (you won't believe this) for only 1 cent via Amazon! Confusion arose when the title, accompanied by Crouch lustily staring at the reader, caused some people to misdiagnose the autobiography as a sexcapade novel.

Here's Crouch doing what any man would do if he could touch a supermodel without being arrested. The woman is Crouch's wife Abbey Clancy, who he famously cheated on with a teenage prostitute. This is probably the only blemish on an otherwise sterling record. Crouch could have been a hero, the poster boy for an everyman, just like us, yet winning at life because of his ability to put a ball in a net. I'd like to say he messed up in that regard, but she stayed with him, so maybe he can't lose.

Crouch's robot celebration he unveiled in the preparatory matches leading up to the 2006 World Cup. He stopped doing the robot because he felt it was becoming a distraction for the national team. This is Peter Crouch's blend of awkwardness and humor in a nut shell.

Who hasn't ended up at a bar in the wee hours of the morning with only one shirt button, the middle button at that, still intact, with drinks spilled all over your lap? Here's Crouch partying with former Spurs and now current Stoke teammate Jonathan Woodgate. Crouch said Woodgate was instrumental in recruiting him to Stoke, probably so they could recreate nights like this in Staffordshire.

With marriage and parenthood comes a sense of contentment. Gone is the former partying womanizer -- at least I hope so. Crouch is here taking a stroll with wife Clancy and daughter Sophia in the stroller. Questions of infidelity, goal-scoring, and robotic dance moves are now replaced with, "Peter, what the fuck are you wearing?"

Best of luck at Stoke, Crouchy. I'll miss you.

Poise: What Is It Really?

The word "poise" is often used in professional sports, especially in conjunction with the losing side. We hear how a team was unable to maintain their poise in a loss, or that the underdog needs to remain poised in order to pull off an upset. Poise is somehow only a factor in sports during a crucial moment or after a game is decided. It's so much more than that.

How about speaking of a team's poise after they've virtually been defeated, but the game is still in progress? That's what I'd like to talk about because, for all intents and purposes, Tottenham lost Tuesday's Champions League match against Real Madrid with 75 minutes remaining. Former Arsenal striker/Tottenham assassin Emmanuel Adebayor headed home a corner four minutes into the game. He slipped past Aaron Lennon's injury replacement, Jermaine Jenas, and headed the ball past both the goalkeeper and Luka Modric on the far post. 1-0.

It gets better. Peter Crouch, the same Peter Crouch who stands 6'7 and is expected to do one thing (win balls in the air) recklessly challenged Sergio Ramos and picked up a yellow card shortly after the goal. Eleven minutes later, the same Peter Crouch, who really shouldn't be sliding under any circumstances, picked up a second yellow for another reckless challenge, this time on Marcelo, and once again on a ball he wouldn't have won anyway.

So with 75 minutes remaining, Spurs were at a goal disadvantage and a man disadvantage against a team more talented in every facet of the game. These are the situations in which "poise" is normally discussed. And of course, it would be said that Tottenham lost theirs.

In the meta-football universe we're operating in for the purpose of this post, I'd like to argue the opposite, in fact. The goal and Crouch's challenges were a series of bad mistakes, completely separate from the team's collective identity. The team showed their true colors in those remaining 75 minutes, when they were beaten mercilessly and left fending for their lives.

This is how I like to imagine this match. Two friends walk out of a bar. Both strong and imposing young men. The type of guys no one would pick a one-on-one fight with. As they exit left and head towards a dark alley, one of the men heads back into the bar because he left his wallet, or something else, a jacket, maybe. Now alone, the less forgetful friend continues walking. Four young pick-pockets hide behind a rusted dumpster waiting to pounce and rob him for all he's worth. The four gangly cowards may have reconsidered if it was still the two men, but down to one they happily engage in a vicious ass-whooping. Kicks, punches, steel-toes, spiked bats, tire irons -- the whole nine.

The hapless friend, left to fend for himself curls up and tries his best to absorb the blows. He's bloodied and his swollen left eye begins to shut. But he doesn't play dead. He continues to get up -- relishing the violence. He would have preferred to be lying in bed, enjoying the comfort of his own home, but he can't. This is a beating he has to take -- and he takes it, without complaint. That was Tottenham on Tuesday.

Poise to me is more than staying calm under pressure. It is also about self-respect and respect for the game. It's easy to give up. Everyday people give up on their dreams, relationships, and even life itself. Overmatched athletes quit on a regular basis when they can't keep up. Poise is about resisting the urge to quit, even though you know your best isn't good enough. Poise is about continuing to play your ass off, even after Ronaldo scores the fourth goal, one that should have been saved at that, and blows kisses to the raucous crowd like the consummate douche that he is.

Every fan experiences an "A-Ha" moment when they either realize or are reminded why they love their team. Strangely enough, mine came in a 4-0 blowout in which Tottenham embarrassed themselves and the EPL in the Champions League Quarterfinals. They took their beating, and came back for more, refusing to back down. They weren't intimidated by the historic Real Madrid and their lineup filled with world-class players. The score didn't reflect it, but I still felt like Tottenham belonged.

Poised they were, at least in my meta-football universe. Now let's grab this 4th spot and do it again next year.

Spurs vs. AC Milan And Other Soccer House Cleaning

I haven't written about soccer in a while now. Contrary to popular belief, I haven't stopped watching. It just took me about five weeks to realize no one wanted to read match by match breakdowns of an EPL team jockeying for a top four seed. What is the EPL anyway? Most people clicked the link expecting the San Antonio Spurs and wondered why they saw pictures of soccer.
Anyway, I've still been watching, and Wayne Rooney's goal to lift Manchester United 2-1 over City is probably the most aesthetically pleasing goal I've ever seen.  I've watched this video 20,000 times, accounting for two thirds of the YouTube views, and am still not sick of it.
"Wayne Rooney is back!" the pundits claimed. I never understood how a player could be "back" after one goal, albeit a spectacular one. But the assertion got me to thinking about all Rooney has been through the last year. He injured his ankle towards the end of the 2009-10 Premier League season, limiting his mobility, and still finished the season with 26 Premier League goals.
The English National Team followed with a poor showing in the World Cup, highlighted by Rooney's ineffectiveness. Citing his injury, some questioned whether he should have been playing at all. Then news of his extramarital affair was leaked, compounding his already sketchy public image.
Rooney returned to United and squabbled with Sir Alex Ferguson over a new contract, threatened to leave the club, and came off immature through out the entire process. All of this from Rooney despite being held goalless in open play for the previous eight months of the Premier League season.
I've tried to come up with a cross-sport equivalent of 2010 Wayne Rooney and there's absolutely no comparison. Rooney made Brett Favre's year look Sportsman of the Year Award worthy by comparison.
But hey, "Wayne Rooney is back, baby!" Unfortunately, it took his "return" to realize I liked the struggling, considerably less rich, and womanizing version of Rooney much better.
I've also changed my mind about the EPL schedule. A few months ago I whined about the lack of an end-of-the-year playoff. I thought they should assign seeds to the top eight seeds and let them battle for the league title. I argued that the mini-tournament didn't have to affect Champions League draws, as the top four seeds after the regular season would already clinch berths. I just thought something more needed to be done about crowning an official champion, rather than relying on regular season record.
Turns out that the pursuit of a top four seed is just as fun. Tottenham, Chelsea, and Manchester City are all currently in the hunt for the last two spots. Every game at this point is magnified. Dropping points to inferior teams is especially painful, and scoreboard watching is in full force. It reminds me of the end of the NFL season when teams are more concerned with making the playoffs, rather than what seed they are. I take playoff plead back, this is pretty fun too.

Tottenham's lone goal in their 1-0 victory over AC Milan in San Siro embodied everything that went right Tuesday afternoon. Aaron Lennon broke away from the pack after receiving an intercepted ball. Milan was sloppy with their passes all day, especially in the first half.
Lennon, who routinely beat his defender, was Spurs best playmaker. He made a couple good crosses to Crouch in the first half but they ultimately amounted to nothing. It was only fitting that the two would hook up to put the game away.
In the 80th minute, Lennon made Mario Yepes miss and delivered a perfect pass to Crouch, who tucked the ball inside the left corner. Milan midfielder Gennaro Gatusso attempted to goad Crouch into a fight the entire game, but Crouch left with the last laugh. Gatusso will miss the second leg after picking up a yellow card in the game. He even head butted Tottenham assistant manager Joe Jordan after the game, and could possibly face suspension. You have to love UEFA for that very reason--a head butt doesn't necessarily warrant a suspension.
I'm proud of Spurs. They went into a hostile environment, came out aggressive, and weren't intimidated by a side playing dirty in the second half. And they did it without Gareth Bale, who is still nursing an ailing back. A draw would have been a good result, but with the win, Spurs have set themselves up nicely to advance to the final eight.
That's the last time I'll talk soccer until March 9th. I promise.

Spurs vs. Werder Bremen - Champions League Game 5

In the first leg against Werder, Spurs jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead. Towards the end of the first half, they surrendered a goal, then another goal in the opening minutes of the second half, and had to settle for a tie. There would be no such letdown in the second leg.
Spurs came out firing early and were rewarded with a 6th minute goal from Younes Kaboul. The unmarked Kaboul scored easily after a perfect cross from Aaron Lennon. Lennon and Bale both had fantastic games.
A goal lead has been nothing to get excited about this year. Spurs came into the game not having kept a clean sheet in 17 games. They had only shut out their opponent in three games this season, two of those coming in the Champions League. Tottenham has only kept one clean sheet in the Premier League, the very first game, a 0-0 draw against Manchester City.
Thirty seconds into stoppage time, Luka Modric did well to control a Crouch header and stick it into the back of the net to give Spurs a two goal lead. The second goal clinched the game for Spurs as Werder was clearly overmatched and was unlikely to muster more than a goal.
It was important to keep a clean sheet, especially from a psychological standpoint. Tottenham players need to feel confident that they can win scoring only one goal. Too often this season, they've had the game well in hand and conceded a cheap goal, forcing a draw.  They need games like this to prove, mainly to themselves, that they're capable of shutting a team out.
Spurs scored their third goal in the 81st minute, when Lennon collected Bale's rebound and fed Peter Crouch. Bale continued his fantastic play that has made him one of the tournament's most exciting players. In this game, he hit the post twice, once on the aforementioned cross, and earlier on a free kick. He also missed a penalty kick that Werder goalie Tim Wiese guessed right on.
Bale's game has become so beautifully predictable. He receives the ball, kicks the ball past the defender to start his run, and delivers a perfect cross almost every time. Defenses know what he's going to do, they just can't stop him. He's the soccer equivalent of Mariano Rivera. Rivera throws his cutter about 80 percent of the time, and occasionally mixes in a straight fastball. Hitters know what's coming, they just can't hit it.
With the win, Tottenham secured a place in the knockout stages. They currently sit atop Group A, tied with Inter at 10 points, but ahead in goal differential. For a team that many didn't expect to advance, Spurs have looked awfully impressive through out their Champions League campaign. Their last game in group play will be against Twente on the road. They have a chance to top a group that includes the defending European champions, Inter Milan.

Spurs vs. Werder Bremen (Let The Champions League Begin)

Spurs are beginning to look more and more like the Chicago Cubs every day. Except now, they have a bigger stage to exhibit the type of play that reminds everyone why they hadn't qualified for the Champions League in 50 years. I knew what I was getting into, and I just so happen to be a masochist. Sue me.
Leading up to this game I thought a draw would have been a good result. In fact, I would have been delighted with this result if it happened in a different manner.
Spurs' first goal was an own goal from Bremen defender Petri Pasanen in the 12th minute. Gareth Bale delivered a low cross to the streaking Crouch that Pasanen turned in. Crouch would strike 6 minutes later with a header off of a van der Vaart cross.
There's no excuse for not being able to hold a lead after scoring two goals in the first twenty minutes. To make matters worse, Spurs could have easily been up by three or four going into halftime.
However, Bremen forward Hugo Almedia cut the lead in half just before halftime, providing a spark to an otherwise lackluster performance from the home team.
Bremen was able to capitalize off of their new found confidence early in the second half. Within four minutes, Marko Marin drove a low kick in off a miss from Aaron Hunt.
Both teams would have a few scoring opportunities late in the second half that ultimately amounted to nothing. Bremen was content after tying the game, and within the last 15 minutes, Spurs began to play more conservatively to preserve the tie.
Fellow Group A participants Twente and Inter Milan would also play to a 2-2 draw. The draw came as a surprise to an Inter team that was expected to easily win the group.
Had Spurs been able to hold their lead, they would have been able to gain a much needed early points advantage in the group.
As it stands, Spurs fans will have to be content with the draw. The result isn't terrible, but considering they were up 2-0 and Inter drew, it seems like a missed opportunity.
Spurs can hang their hat on the fact that they were only outplayed for about seven minutes of this game. If Werder is their roadblock towards advancement, they have set themselves up pretty well.

We Did It! Spurs Advance To Champions League Group Play

After a less than stellar performance on the artificial turf of Stade de Suisse, Spurs came back with a vengeance to secure a 4-0 win at home. Despite the heavy rainfall and a goaltending switch after halftime, Tottenham continued to impressive through out.
Peter Crouch stole the show, scoring three goals, two off of set pieces. At the five minute mark, Crouch headed in a corner from Gareth Bale. The goal was Crouch's first of the season, and put his side at ease going forward.
Crouch scored again in the 61st minute, heading in another corner from Bale. Crouch calmly approached a penalty kick twenty minutes later and completed his hat trick by sticking the ball in the bottom left of the goal.
Striker Jermain Defoe postponed surgery to help his team advance to the group stage. He scored Spurs' second goal on a controversial non-hand ball call. Defoe received the pass off his arm, continued with the play while the defender complained, and scored with his left foot. Despite Young Boys' protests, none of the referees saw the hand ball and the goal was upheld.
Although overshadowed by Crouch's hat trick, Gareth Bale continued his excellent play. He recorded four assists in the game, and would have scored if he wasn't tackled inside the box. Bale was brought down by defender Senad Lulic, who was ejected from the game after his second yellow card.
Towards the end of the first half, Tottenham goalkeeper Heurelho Gomes asked to be removed from the game after suffering a leg injury. Redknapp stuck with him through the first half before sending out Carlo Cudicini as his replacement.
Cudicini was only challenged once and made the save easily.
The announcer summed it up best when he said Spurs played with "Pride, Privilege, and Achievement." That's what I love about English announcers and England in general. Can you imagine a scenario where an American announcer would utter those three words in succession to describe a sporting event? Absolutely not. Only the English.
Spurs will find out which group they are drawn into tomorrow. I'll be anxiously awaiting, researching, and will come back tomorrow prepared to provide updates.

EPL Season Opener - Spurs vs. City

To describe my demeanor as 'excited' for the beginning of this morning's Spurs game would be an understatement. I don't think I can adequately describe how great it feels to have a team playing that can take my mind off the Cubs. Spurs and the start of the Bears season next month should improve my mood considerably. At least I hope.
Back to the excitement. It was the type of sports related excitement I will only experience once. This will mark the first EPL season I follow. There's nothing like following a new sport or a new league for the first time. Everything is new, everything is interesting.
Of course, the unfamiliarity contributes to what amounts to 'growing pains' for a fan. For instance, I don't know each team's roster, not even Tottenham's. I have an idea of who was good last year, but I assume there will be a shakeup based on off season acquisitions.
There's also the danger of assuming what you see in one or a few games applies to the league as a whole. I experienced one of these moments during today's game. I couldn't help but notice there was only two offsides calls the entire game. During the World Cup, I'd see four or five a half. I'd have to assume the lack of offsides calls can be chalked up to each team being more familiar with each other than World Cup rosters would be.
The game was also more wide open than most World Cup games I saw. This would make sense, each World Cup game has higher stakes than the EPL season opener. While both of these observations seem to be factual, only time will tell. It's all part of the learning experience.

Speaking of learning experience, I got my first look at two great players today. The first was Joe Hart. Supposedly he will be England's goalkeeper in 2014, and from what I saw today, I see no reason to dispute that. In fact, Hart earned the draw today single-handed. Even a slightly above average goalie would have allowed at leat two goals in the first half.
Hart reminds me of Tom Brady in a way. I want to hate him, but I can't because he's just that good. Watching Hart smile before the game and while making saves made me think of how Tom Brady smiled after winning his first Super Bowl. It's just the look of those guys that make you hate them. Unless of course either plays for the team you root for.
The second player I was impressed with was Gareth Bale. As a new Spurs fan I'm ashamed that I hadn't read up on him before. Bale was the best Spurs player today, dominating the left side of the field. It's such a huge advantage to play on that side and be left footed. Of course, his dependence on his left foot may have cost Spurs the win. Bale had the best chance of the game to score in the 86th minute with a wide open net off a rebound but couldn't find the net with his right foot.

The last player I'd like to discuss is Peter Crouch. I've made fun of him in the past, but I'd like to quote Alexi Lalas from the pregame show, "[Crouch] looks like a dork out there. But you got to love him. He just scores goals."
After watching him, I do love him. His size will be invaluable this season. In the 11th minute he headed a ball to Defoe, that against a human goalie would have set up a goal. Crouch can win any ball in the air because he's bigger than everyone he'll be going up against. The front line of Crouch and Defoe work well together and have a knack for finding the net. They combined for 36 goals last season.
Hopefully the first game of the season isn't a bad omen for Spurs. Even though they drew, it feels like a loss because of all the opportunities they wasted in the first half. When you haven't won the league in 50 years, these type of games happen.