Punching A Hole

I examine the hole in my wooden closet door. It's staring back at me, laughing at my sadness and anger and momentary lapse of judgement. It taunts me everyday in a way only damaged personal property can. I open that closet door everyday to grab the day's clothes and there it is, smirking. I open that closet door later in the day to retrieve a pen, and the hole chuckles. I examine this hole and it looks like a poorly executed scoop of ice cream.* The brown-colored wood is not dark enough to pass for chocolate ice cream. A thin horizontal crack runs over the top of the damaged area to further punctuate the sadness which led to this hole's creation. It's only been here for three days and I already cannot stand this fucking hole in my closet door. This hole is pissing me off more than what led me to put it there.

*Upon further review, the hole also resembles the outline of Hitchcock's face in the intro to Alfred Hitchcock Presents...

I've always prided myself on being a fair, level-headed sports fan. I don't let team tribalism affect my ability to enjoy other players or teams or the sport as a whole. I couldn't imagine taking shit-talking beyond some good-natured jabs, much less swinging on someone because they don't support the same team I do. I don't let the outcome of a game ruin my day. I'm barely even nervous or frustrated while watching because I'm doing just that, WATCHING. The teams I root for have been on the good and the bad side of the score plenty of times and neither outcome has changed anything about my life. My view goes: sports are a diversion. A beautiful, time-consuming diversion from things like work, bills, illness, taxes, and spirituality. When serious, non-diversions cross over into the sports realm, as they often do, I become bored quickly. I just want to see the ball cross the goal line or put through a hoop.

I struggle to maintain this calm and collected ideal while watching college sports. I don't know why this is, but I always manage to lose my shit while watching the University of Wisconsin play football or basketball. Maybe there's more of a connection there because I walked the same campus as the athletes. I have just as much right to take pride in the school's name as they do. Maybe it's the lower skill level or the absence of 5-year 50 million dollar deals. I don't know. I've though about this often and have never come to a satisfying conclusion. All I know is I'm more invested in the outcome of college games even though, if given the decision, I'd much rather see the pro teams I root for win championships. Which makes the way I acted during the Rose Bowl so puzzling. These are real thoughts, quotes and adamant beliefs I expressed during the game:

Oregon is cheating with those shiny helmets. The sun is reflecting off them and making it difficult for the Wisconsin players to see the ball.

"Oh, fuck you Musburger, you insinuating son of a bitch." In response to Brent Musburger pointing out Wisconsin's sideline was in the shade, while Oregon's was roasting in the Pasadena sun.

Sure, it's easy when you're only 800 fucking miles away from Pasadena.

"Phil Knight is buying a championship for Oregon. The program would be completely irrelevant without him. No players would want to go there."

"That's a hold!" After 95 percent of Oregon's plays from scrimmage.

These are just the ones I remember. Point being, I said and thought some stupid things in the middle of the game that I wholeheartedly believed at the time. Then I see Jared Abbrederis -- the most dependable player on the team, the player I would specifically put in the ball in the hands of if I wanted to make sure it would NOT be turned over -- fumble the ball with the game on the line. The football stopped and lay dead like a fumbled football is never supposed to do. It fell to the grass and did not even make an effort to squirm out of bounds. The football lay there for what seemed like 30 seconds for an Oregon play to come and swoop it up. An Oregon player did swoop it up. "HE DIDN'T HAVE CONTROL," I shouted as the replay clearly demonstrates that he did have control.

Wisconsin gets the ball back at their 13-yard line with all of 16 seconds and no timeouts. My faith is nonexistent. Russell Wilson completes a pass to Abbrederis to the 42-yard line. The clock stops until the ball is set. Wilson completes another pass, this time to Nick Toon, down to Oregon's 25. My faith skyrockets. Surely, they can do this. Only 25 measly yards. But the time, oh I forgot about the time. Only 2 seconds. Not enough time to spike it. They'll have to run to the line, snap it and hope Oregon's secondary is the more confused of the two units. There's Russell Wilson, and he's spiking the ball. Zero seconds are on the clock. "ONE SECOND," I yell at the TV. The replays show the ball is still in Wilson's hand when the clock runs out.  Even my dilapidated brain is processing the information correctly. Wisconsin just lost a second straight Rose Bowl.

I calmly got out of my chair walked over to the closet door and punched it harder than I've ever punched anything before. Then I walked out, no emotion or feeling whatsoever, like I used to do after punching the old time cards at work. I didn't notice the damage until a couple hours later. My first thought was how could this have happened? Me of twelve-year-old-girl strength is not capable of punching a hole in a wooden closet door. But apparently I was because I was staring right at the fucking thing. When that thought sunk in I became ashamed. I had let the game become more than a game. What if the closet door had been a small child wearing an Oregon jersey? If they could see this closet door now, my loved ones would surely be embarrassed for me, a sober 24-year old who reacted like someone half his age would to a stupid football game. Like Michigan State, like Ohio State, all I wanted was a proper last play. A final chance to keep the ideas of glory and shared athletic experience alive.

I don't remember a single thing about last year's Rose Bowl. I remember the Badgers lost to TCU and the final score was 21-19. That's it. I very likely repressed the memory of that game. This year's Rose Bowl will not be so easy, mainly because it was such an amazing game. Oregon's speed and athleticism countering Wisconsin's bruising runs. De'Anthony Thomas. Montee Ball. Kiko Alonso. Russell Wilson. LaMichael James. A dizzying pace, two great offenses waiting for the other to have a letdown, an improbable fumble and last second spike that incredibly was even an option. I don't think I'll forget this game. If I do, there's a hole to remind me.           

Wisconsin Runs Up The Field...And The Score?

A win can't just be a win anymore. In today's hypersensitive sports world where something, anything has to be criticized, Bret Bielema's Wisconsin Badgers were accused by a number of media personalities and fans of running up the score. Putting up an 83 spot, whether good or bad, will draw a response from pretty much everyone. Here's mine...
First, I tried to compile all the instances I could think of that be interpreted as running up the score:
1) Refusing to take out the starters after the game is well out of hand.
2) Running trick plays with a big lead, i.e. fake punts or field goals, double reverses, etc.
3) Throwing on first down, or throwing the ball long in general.
4) Calling timeouts with a big lead to kick a field goal or get the "right" play call.
5) Blitzing with a big lead.
I'm sure there are more but that's all I could think of off the top of my head.
"There's not one style point on that board," Bielema said after the game. "All those guys did was play football and competed."
If you watched the game (most people who have a problem with the score probably didn't), you'd know that the Badgers didn't break any of those five rules. The starters got a few reps into the third quarter before being taken out. They called a steady diet of run and pass plays despite having the game in hand. To be fair, most of the plays were "situational," meaning plays they could practice should they need to use them in certain situations of a close game.
Back up quarterback Jon Budmayr connected on a 76 yard touchdown pass midway through the fourth quarter to put the Badgers up 76-13. That was really the only play that could possibly be considered running up the score. Budmayr scrambled out of the pocket and threw the ball up to avoid the sack. What was he supposed to do? Take the sack? Taking sacks on purpose would be more of a disgrace to the game than throwing bombs with a 50 point lead.

The Badgers did nothing that suggested they were trying to score 80 points. Indiana's defense just couldn't stop them. Wisconsin scored on all 12 of their possessions. It wasn't Wisconsin's fault that Indiana couldn't stop them. Again, what were they supposed to do? But the back ups in and have them take a knee?
Conventional thinkers would say run the ball. That's the solution to blowout games. Run the ball. It takes time off the clock and allows the defense to get easy stops. Except nothing came easy for Indiana's defense.
John Clay sat out nursing a knee injury. Montee Ball and James White (the backups) have filled in admirably all season and would start for the majority of Division 1-A football programs. They combined for 311 yards rushing and 5 touchdowns. Wisconsin had more success running the ball than passing the ball, like they normally do. They continued to run the ball with the lead, Indiana couldn't stop them, they score, and are accused of running up the score. If they had thrown the ball in the same situation they would have also been accused of running up the score. Save for taking a knee for a quarter and a half, anything the Badgers offense did would have been considered running up the score. That's what they get for going up against an inept defense.
I've also noticed the "running up the score" argument seems to be biased towards college football. Consider yesterday's college basketball scores. The six Top 25 ranked teams won by a total of 199 points in their games yesterday, or by an average of 33 points a game. Those six teams faced off against lower tier mid major teams and blew them out. Not a word was said about running up the score. Wisconsin beat a fellow Big Ten team, if anything, they were more evenly matched than any of those college basketball games. Could it be because those mid major teams were expected to lose, and lose big? So the "running up the score" argument only applies to a team that isn't expected to get blown out, but does? It seems like it should be the other way around.
Let's do away with all this talk about running up the score. It's old and its tired. These aren't a bunch of eight year-olds playing touch football. They're big boys, I think they can handle a tough loss. Blame Indiana's defense for the 83 points. Not Bret Bielema, Montee Ball, James White, or backup quarterback Jon Budmayr.

Pumpkin Carving And A Thrilling Wisconsin Victory

While it may not be entirely clear in the picture above, that beautiful motion 'W' is not only carved into a pumpkin, but the work of my own doing. Nevermind that the motion 'W' trends to the left and mine seems to be trending right. I was never the best at art.
In fact, as a kid, I only drew athletes - usually Michael Jordan, Dennis Rodman, Emmitt Smith, or Deion Sanders. I also had an affinity for basketball cards. So I drew my own basketball cards, and put myself in a Bulls uniform.
Pumpkin carving was never an integral part of my childhood Halloween doings. Eating candy, particularly of the chocolate, nougat, and caramel variety, and shivering my ass off in the rain are my two fondest Halloween memories.
So when my girlfriend approached me and not asked, but told me we were going to carve pumpkins, I scoffed like Lou Piniella after one of his pitchers bunts the third strike foul. I learned from various people over the years that relationships are all about sacrifice. Sacrifice the small things and make sure that the big things, as long as the big things aren't destructive, remain a part of your life. Two hours of my time and a general dislike of the color orange and the Cucurbitaceae family fall into the 'small things' category.
It's probably a good thing I didn't carve pumpkins as a child. I would have given up within the first five minutes. It's surprisingly hard work. After about 30 minutes of digging and scraping what looked like shredded cheddar cheese, I was able to finally hallow out the thing. It came as a surprise to me that there wasn't a couple of Chilean miners buried under all the seeds and orange rubbish.

No, that's not what UW students threw up at two in the morning after celebrating the victory over Iowa. That's all of the insides we dug up.

To back-track, we actually did the pumpkin carving after UW pulled off a 31-30 road win that had me feeling how I assume Mark Dantonio felt after the Notre Dame victory. Not quite that bad, but I'm pretty sure my heart was beating irregularly for the better part of that night.
I had planned on carving out the motion 'W' all along, but should have thought the timing through a little better. What if Wisconsin had lost? A real, more than likely possibility. I might have just smashed the pumpkin in the street myself while a group of stoned and jealous twelve year-olds stared from across the street.
But I underestimated Bret Bielema's coaching and our punter, Brad Nortman. It's not often that a punter decides a game, and when they do, it's in a fairly indirect way. For instance, they repeatedly pin the other team within the 15, making them march down a long field the entire game. Rarely can you put your finger on one game changing play, and the punter is right in the middle of the action.
Down 30-24, and approaching the six minute mark, fourth and four, and Bielema decides to dial up a fake punt. It's calls like this that remind me why I'm not a head coach. I'd watched the entire game, noticed that Iowa was basically sending one man to rush the punter and dropping the rest back. I never thought to put two and two together and call a fake. Bielema did and it was a brilliant call. Nortman scampered for the longest seventeen yards of his life before he slid to the grass, avoiding contact. And boy did he get down fast.
Wisconsin would convert another fourth down on the drive en route to a Montee Ball one yard touchdown run to give his team a one point lead. Ball was the unsung hero of this game. The offense was without their two most explosive weapons, tight end Lance Kendricks, and freshman running back, James White almost the entire game.
Ball was the forgotten man in the backfield that has primarily consisted of Clay and White since the Big Ten season began. He stepped up, particularly in the passing game, catching five balls for 41 yards.

That's the motion W I cut out of the pumpkin, which unfortunately, looked better than the pumpkin itself. Now it's decomposing in a landfill somewhere.

When two teams are as evenly matched as Iowa and Wisconsin are and have been over the years, sometimes it takes a trick play to gain an advantage. I wonder if Bret Bielema is getting his Hawkeye tattoo converted into a Badger as we speak, laughing at Kirk Ferentz's time management.
As far as the pumpkin, it's not doing so good. The hanging pieces of the pumpkin (spaces in between the W's columns) have began to curl up and resemble Doctor Claw gripping his armchair. It's OK. In a few days I'll leave the pumpkin outside and let the stoned teenagers do what they will with it.

College Football Week 1 - Wisconsin vs. UNLV

Over the last few days, I've had some computer "issues," to say the least. I was planning on writing about a bunch of my thoughts on the first week of college football action, as well as a separate post about my alma mater, the Wisconsin Badgers. The Badgers post will be a weekly thing, just like I've been doing with Tottenham.
Since I'm kind of late, I'm going to condense this post to a few quick thoughts about about the first week of college football, with an emphasis on the Wisconsin game.

- Denard Robinson looks like a budding star in Rich Rodriguez's offense. However, if he doesn't learn to slide or lower his should and absorb hits, he'll be injured by the sixth week of the season.
- Florida will solve their issues under center, but expect three to four losses from them this year. And what was up with the lack of emotion from Urban Meyer on the sidelines? Is he just trying to keep his blood pressure low early in the season? Or possibly experiencing post-Tebow break up depression?
- I didn't watch that Oregon game, but any time a team wins 72-0, they're trying to send a message that they deserve to be discussed with the nation's elite.
- Look for TCU to deliver their second straight undefeated regular season after defeating Oregon State's high powered offense. TCU's biggest obstacle to perfection will be on November 6th, when they visit Utah.
- Jacksonville State true freshman quarterback Coty Blanchard's perfect 30 yard strike to Kevyn Cooper on 4th and 15 in double overtime and the two point conversion that followed will go down as a top 10 moment of the 2010-11 college football season.

Initially, I didn't know how to feel about a Badger game broadcasted on Versus. To my knowledge, Versus only broadcasts hockey and auto racing. Before the game, they were showing former college football sideline reporter Jack Arute cheesing it up with a member of a pit crew, and at that point, it was safe to say that I was worried about the quality of this broadcast.
My fears were confirmed when the announcers opened the broadcast yelling. They continued yelling well into the first quarter. I understand, they're unknown announcers and are trying to make a name for themselves. Everything they've been taught about announcing is that they have to sound passionate and exciting, and they took it over the top a little. Fortunately, as the game wore on, I either suffered a slight hearing loss and became accustomed to them, or they toned it down.
Wisconsin's first possession of the game displayed the type of football they'll be looking to play all season. Run the ball, control time of possession, and wear the defense down. They did all of that en route to the first touchdown of the game.
While it's still early to speculate, it's not a stretch to say that the Badgers run game could be second in the nation next to Alabama's. They have John Clay (who is looking more and more like Ron Dayne) to pound the ball on first to third down, Montee Ball can also run between the tackles and is a better receiver out of the backfield than Clay. Add in the speed of freshman James White, and you have 266 rushing yards, and one of the most versatile backfields in college football. Not to mention, an NFL-sized offensive line blocking for them.
When you have a dominant running game going up against an overmatched defense, the passing game tends to be underused. Such was the case in Las Vegas.
I've always thought quarterback Scott Tolzien is underrated. Despite his size, he has a surprisingly strong and accurate arm. He also has a few speedy receivers to work with that will allow them to run a barrage of reverses, slants, and go routes to keep defenses on their toes.
Wisconsin has a legitimate shot at the Rose Bowl this year. There's only two things I think that could possibly hold them back.
1) Turnovers. We saw this in the UNLV game. Two turnovers led to 14 points. Wisconsin was up by only 3 at halftime despite dominating the game. The first turnover was a pick 6 from Tolzien, and the second was a fumble in the red zone from Nick Toon that UNLV returned 82 yards to set up a touchdown pass. In Big Ten play, these type of turnovers will cost them games.
2) The Secondary. I'm really worried about this secondary. Thankfully, the front 7 is excellent and should get plenty of pressure over the course of the season. They're going to need to because Wisconsin's defensive backs won't be successful out on an island for long. Our safeties aren't exactly stellar either. Jay Valai is a big hitter that can stop the run, but his coverage skills leave something to be desired. Aaron Henry is playing safety because he failed as a defensive back.
Overall, it was a good first game. I look for Wisconsin to limit their turnovers and get tight end Lance Kendricks more involved in the offense next week.